your love echoes
by deadlove82
Summary: Beth Green is battling her demons, hiding a painful past, haunted by memories of men she never thought she would see again. struggling to find her place in the world Beth's past comes back and turns her world upside down. what will happen when Rick's and Beth's worlds collide? will or can she let rick help her? can she trust him? slow burn Rick/Beth pairing * on hiatus*
1. the damage you've done

A/n; this is chapter 1 rewrite may have to rewrite up to chapter 3, there will be a basic of the chapters in here but I have changed some things around the for story to flow smoother with future chapters and I have added an another OC other then Liam. but I won't give to much away about them until later, but I will drop hints a long the way, more updates and chapters soon, I will try to stick to the monthly up dates now I have more free time to write. I promise you It is Rick/Beth pairing but It may take some chapters before it gets to rick/Beth, but there will be some Rick/Beth moments through out the story, but not right away. This Beth story about battling and facing her her demons, guilt and memories and what has happened to her as well as healing and finding out where she belongs. the rating will also be changed to M due to trigger warnings and martial in the story, anyway chapters will be post hopefully over the following weeks, until next time lovely readers. reviews always welcome. dealove82 ox

I am also using a beta to help me with editing chapters.

Rating; Has changed to M

trigger warnings for chapter; course language, mentions and memories of past abuse.

Your Love Echoes

Chapter 1: the damage you have done.

Beth never expected this Rick's gun pointed his gun at Nathan. Nathan's bloody lip shone as the grinned staring at Rick down, Beth had hit him in order to escape, but his grip like steel, Nathan rubbed himself against her subtlety so the group didn't notice. But it was enough for Beth to feel it she knew what he would and could do and he would do it. He let her know by tighten his grasp making her wince Rick narrowing his eyes on her, they were family- her family now. The others watched on Daryl ready to jump in at any time, but with Nathan it is complicated. He held firm enough grip to leave bruises. But they were family, they all were and they protected their own.

Beth hit him again and twisted her arm out of his grip, and moved behind Rick, only to have Daryl's arm around her and let him pull her away not before feeling Rick's hand squeeze hers gently and lovingly. Knowing this is right, this was where she wanted to be. Everything changed when she met Rick nothing can change that not even Nathan and no matter what happened next.

Until she felt a cool metal bar, there was quick movement, gasps from the group and metal bar was pressing into her neck, with a shiver she remembered things things she would rather forget -Liam before she got involved with Nathan, before Nathan took control.

xxx past xxx

Beth lied alone in the woods. Night time had arrived and Beth knew how long she'd been passed out, as eyes adjusted to the low light around her. Beth really started to feel how badly she was injured. The cold night air around her, the air made her shiver. Her body stung the cool air grazed over her, the cigarette burns he marked her with this time. She was even sure he cracked or broken a rib or two.

Damn the jerk! Had the nerve to kick me while I'm was down, she thought to herself.

Beth felt so raw, cold, her body ached and she was tired but Beth, knew it wasn't safe out here, so forcing herself to stand, she staring walking. As she walked Beth thought of the three years, wasted years, she spent with Liam – a man for a long time thought she loved, a man she though loved her.

But this... this wasn't love, what they had have wasn't love.

Now Beth curses the day she met Liam. In her sophomore year in high school, Liam was handsome, charismatic, and a little older then her, there was no Question why Beth had fallen for him... the question she kept asking herself was why she stayed with him so long as she did. Beth and Liam had only been together for a few months when he first hit her. They were at Liam father's place just playing around and making out when Liam for some reason out of the blue... decided to pick a fight with her.

As Beth walked through the woods to her family farm, she couldn't even remembered what the fight was even about, either way Liam had started it over nothing. When Beth tried to leave he just...snapped. He grabbed her arm so hard she thought he was going to break it and slapped her...hard! Sending Beth tumbling to the ground, Beth didn't say a word, didn't even cry, she just couldn't believe what happen.

Being a typical abuser, Liam apologised said he'd never do it again. Beth so young and naive, wanting to believe him...forgive him and she did first few times, after that it became a regular thing between them. So a shamed, not having the heart to tell anyone, and afraid of leaving him, Beth became...stuck!

After about an hour, Beth made it home.

Beth hoped her father wasn't up. I'll never be able to explain this she thought to herself

Looking down at herself, the state she was in there will be a lot of questions...

Questions Beth isn't sure she can or is ready to answer yet. She unlocked the door and quietly walked in listening for movement from her sleeping family.

It seems to Beth's relief that her late arrival hasn't woken her sleeping family. It seems she'd been lucky.

There was no way Beth could, couldn't explain her injuries, Liam kicked her, hit and burned her even broken bones. Beth could make excuses for those but not at this extent, this was a partially vicious attack on Liam part. Beth attack on told Liam it was over, that she meant it this time...well he never did take it well have never did.

''It is over when I tell you it's over or when you're dead, whichever first, your mine Beth, never forget it bitch!"

He pushed her to the ground, she let out, whimper, biting her lip to keep quiet, Liam towering over her. All she could do was brace herself what's to come next,

Shivering Beth didn't want to dwell on it she was home and safe from Liam, for now at least.

She walked her aching body to the downstairs bathroom to wash up Beth let the water run hot. She watched the steam and fog up the mirror, sighing leaning on the sink for a moment, taking the soap. Beth washed her face with soap and water, then taking a wash cloth, towelled down her arms, she was too sore and tired to shower tonight. It would to have to do for now.

Beth looking down at herself pink tee-shirt, the delicate cotton was torn was torn, that was her favourite tee-shirt too. Taking it off is when Beth noticed the severe bruising on her side, gently touching, Beth whimpered. The pain was incredible, they were definitely broken or maybe a least cracked. Beth knew she needed to go to the hospital this time but there would be questions that would mean police damn!

Beth wandered if there was any way to do this without getting the police or sheriffs involved but she doubted it. It was a small town and around are the sheriffs serve all of king county, as only one hospital and it wouldn't be long before, all of king county knew her personal life, whether she wanted them to or not but with Beth injuries she knew she needed medical attention.

She needed a hospital... then it wouldn't be long before the whole town knew...but at this point Beth didn't really give a shit, not about Liam or the town finding out what she was done!

But that was not to last, not long after Beth met and got involved with Nathan, leading to more lies and half truths, not long after did he become the new control in Beth's life. He just let her heal a little first.

xxxx

Beth moved towards her bed. She turned to see the police outside of her window, looking at a clip board with Beth's answers to their questions.

I hope they lock him up and throw away the key, she thought to herself.

Beth went to her father earlier that morning and told him about Liam, the abuse and beatings everything about Liam. She still hid a lot of things from her father and It killed her not to tell him everything maybe find a way out of everything. but she didn't know if should could or was ready to tell him everything.

It will bring up some very painful things and she was protecting him but it lead to a lot of half truths and more lies but if it was to stop Liam it was worth the risk.

Within an hour they were at the hospital, the doctors and nurses took her in and fussed over her making sure there no internal bleeding. Which thankfully she did not have. With that Beth drifted into a thankfully into a dreamless sleep and slept through the night.

The next morning the police arrived at the hospital with a sheriff to take her statement.

"Are you going to press charges ma'am"

"Yes" Beth quietly responded

Beth told them how Liam came looking for her earlier the previous day that she tried to end it for good this time.

The sheriff immediately put out a warrant for Liam's arrest which Liam escaped probably with a little help Beth heard radios going off in the background the police in pursuit of Liam. Beth wondered what was going on, but was snapped out of her thoughts by her father. Hershel pulled her closer hugging her gently, not to do any damage to her ribs told her he was proud of her.

"Proud? Daddy, why? I don't understand"

Hershel hugged his daughter as it was the first time he had seen her in years. In reality it was. It was the first time since he had really seen his daughter. Beth had sucked in to and stuck in sick world, she had spent so much time and energy hiding the horrors of her of relationship from her parents and family, it's been a long time since they have really seen each other.

Before Hershel could answer his daughter there was sudden commotion from emergency room, doctors and nurses running everywhere. The sheriff who took Beth statement was on his radio the look of shock horror on their faces. There was such much commotion The sheriff's radio were buzzing with codes with being called out, Hershel and Beth sat and watched as the medical team got ready for what one of them called a "an officer involved shooting"

Beth turned to her father.

"Daddy? What's going on do ya think?"

Before anything else could be said the sheriff came over with more questions for Beth.

An/; another update soon, I will try to keep up with the monthly updates. Until then lovely readers.

Reviews always welcome.


	2. echoes of the past

Trigger Warnings for future chapters; violence, course language, mentions and memories of past physical and sexual abuse, mentions of torture, (not too graphic) self harm and mentions of attempted suicide in future chapters.

Beta read helping me with some editing of chapters.

Rating; has changed to M

Your Love Echoes

Chapter 2; echoes of the past.

xxxx Past xxxx

The hospital kept Beth in for three day, due to her circumstances they wanted to make sure they didn't miss anything so they kept a close eye on her. The sheriff came by during the days she was in hospital making sure Beth didn't leave anything out making her wonder.

Two days later, Beth found out why the sheriff was asking so many questions. Beth was talking to one of the older nurses, who knew the person that was shot. His name was Rick Grimes, he was one the deputy sheriff. He and his partner were chasing Liam and possibly Nathan before he was shot and the person they were chasing had escaped before they could be captured. Beth also was told the sheriff had a wife and young son and he had been had been in coma since he brought him in, Liam was to blame for this she was sure of it.

Beth had mixed feelings but mostly her heart broke for the sheriff and his family. Beth would of wish thus in anyone. Her heart grew heavy also with guilt and regret. Was this her fault? Was she responsible? If she did things differently would the sheriff be with his family right now and not in a hospital bed?

Liam was a heartless jerk who only cared for himself and Nathan was no better and they got what they wanted, no matter who is hurt or caught in the progress. That is what scared Beth the most, that and not did he hurt just for the hell of it but he didn't who got hurt. It was the fact he was willing to hurt some who had nothing to do with him and Beth. Taking it out on them just because he could, Nathan was no better.

Beth prayed for the sheriff recovery, and hoped the best for him and his family. If anything happened to the sheriff, Beth would never forgive herself, if Liam or Nathan had hurt or killed someone because of her.

xxx Present xxxx

Beth was home she couldn't be gladder. Her dad and Maggie were supportive but could be over protective sometimes fussing over her, when she had her bad days. Her body ached and she couldn't sleep constant echoes of Liam's laughter in her head, Nathan's as well and other things. Feeling and images she not willing, couldn't or not ready to talk about also haunted her. But Maggie and Hershel didn't push Beth, they knew when Beth was really to talk she would. They could see things that worried Beth. They also saw the dark circles under Beth's eyes, She wasn't really sure if she could or was ready to talk to them.

Hershel had never thought about killing another man, until today that was this man ruined his youngest daughter's s life and he want to kill him for what he had done to his baby girl.

He also blamed himself for not noticing it sooner and not protecting his Beth, what scared Hershel is the fact that if he saw Liam again he might actually kill him. Unknown to each other Maggie and Hershel were thinking the same things.

Beth had guilt over them thinking a believing it was their fault but how could she convince them it wasn't. It was Liam's and Nathan's and theirs alone. They will pay for what they has done, she didn't know how or when but they will pay she will make sure of it.

Beth was worried it had been over almost two weeks and Liam and Nathan are still out there and not caught. What worried her more is what they could and would do especially together.

Beth didn't want to dwell on it too much, Beth joined in with family chores as much as she could with her healing injuries. Beth wore long shelves or light cotton sweaters to cover her burns scars, her ribs was healing, so were her cuts and bruises were the first to go. The rest of her wounds and other things healed in the weeks to follow.

Losing her mother was a toll on Beth alone, she told her mother almost everything even a little about Liam.

The walkers came brutal and fast, killing her mother step brother, and few of her neighbours, no one really knew what they were sick. Walkers with no mind left at all? Or maybe she didn't want to think about it too much. To Beth they were her family her friends and didn't want to think anything of them as anything else.

The first day Beth found out her father and others had hid them in the barn, Beth was angry, didn't speak to anyone for two days. By all rights her mother and Shawn should be dead and in the company and arms of God not locked up in like animals the barn.

But then it hit her like a ton of bricks, some people Liam- Nathan or both, may have hurt, now her Mama and Shawn. She wasn't really sure if she can or could say goodbye so there they stayed, their dark secret her father had no intention of letting them go any time soon.

The farm was beautiful at dawn Beth spent many days sitting on the porch watching the sun rise when she can't sleep which quiet a lot these days. Some old and new aches as memories came back now then things she would rather forget, she hadn't told her father everything. Nathan for one thing, who he is was he was a part of Liam and her past she would rather forget Nathan was worse than Liam. If that was even possible or were they equal, even so he haunted her dreams as much as

Liam, did even more she may never be able to tell them everything maybe not even about Nathan or his connection to Liam it was just anger her father even more.

Hershel was contemplating about killing Liam he may let it slide but this he will definitely tip him over the edge of his anger.

Beth can't do that especially to her sister and father, so it remained to herself.

She hated lying but the effect if this got out would be a lot worse she kept quiet for the sake and safety of her family she may have to do it again for this. As she sat on the porch her memory wandered to the day she found out about the sheriff- Grimes was it? Beth hoped that he was ok, that his family was out there and safe. Sighing she went inside thinking she may as well start breakfast and some light chores.

It was noon the next day the aches playing up and no sleep had Beth on edge. The farm hand who used to work down the road, started working here. Beth didn't really know his name or care had tried to hit on her and playfully lifting her shirt so close to her scars causing Beth to remember him. Beth slapped him and ran not knowing what else to do, his hand rough like his. Beth couldn't stand it.

Beth ran to her father, it took a while to get anything out of Beth and even longer to calm her down. Hershel was furious. It took all his strength not to hit the boy, but Otis another farm hand assured Hershel he will pull him in line and he won't go near Beth. If he stepped out of line again he would be out of here.

Hershel was thankful to Otis if he wasn't there he didn't exactly know what he would have done.

Joke or not Beth had been through enough without being reminded of it.

Sitting on the porch she was tired but still not sleeping. The breeze blowing and relaxing, Beth closed her eyes as the breeze blew around her relaxing Beth's body easing the rest of aches and worries Beth put everything at back of her mind, tomorrow's is going to be different she thought to herself.

Little did she know how quickly things were about change.

xxxx

A/n; this is a rewritten chapter, I kept a lot of it but added a few things, to flow better with chapter one more hints on who Nathan is soon. love to know what you think. Deadlove82 :)


	3. tear me down

A/n; this this last of the re Written chapters keeping the basic of the chapters but I have changed and re arranged some things in the chapters, for smoother flow future for chapters, this story is an abuse Fic if this isn't your thing please turn back now. Updates monthly, until then keep reading lovely readers, reviews always welcome.

Beta reader helping me with chapter edits

Rating; changed to M

Trigger warnings; some swearing, mentions of past abuse.

Your Love Echoes

chapter 3; tear me down.

Beth started her day like any other, hugging her father and Maggie wishing them a good morning before cooking breakfast. After breakfast everyone started on the chores Beth, fed the chickens, collected the eggs and helped her father with generator. Then went out to the wells around the farm for water for the house and animals, taking the long way around staying away from the barn.

Maggie and Beth rode to the pharmacy in town, Beth had not slept and aches from old injuries started to bother her. Beth, not wanting to bother or worry her father, ended up talking to Maggie. Maggie being a sister agreed to help Beth when she needed her and not tell their father, in return Beth would talk to Maggie when Beth was ready, maybe wasn't or not ready to talk about everything or about him, and no she wasn't talking about Liam, but if she started with little things about Liam and the abuse, maybe in time she could talk about the rest, but Beth agreed when she was ready she would go to Maggie first.

The evening was peaceful, finding herself not hungry Beth excused herself and decided to have an early night Taking the pain and sleeping pills Beth fell onto restless sleep.

Xxx start memory xxx

Beth slowly moved to the door only to be knocked back.

"Where are you going bitch, I haven't finished with you yet, your mine Beth."

Liam dragged Beth, pulling her to him, pull her hands and arms painfully straight up and tied her hand with rope resting it on a hook in his room. It was close to the wall but enough room for Liam to walk around Beth. While removing his belt, taking his cigarette lighter out, Beth could see a flash of Liam's knife.

Beth closing her eyes keeping away the burning of her tears, to keep them from escaping. Why didn't she just tell someone, fear, shame? How could she have let it go this far? It was hell, a nightmare and all she wanted to do was escape it.

"I guess I will have to teach you another lesson of who you belong to, we ain't done until I say we are, ready to have some fun Beth?"

Beth closed her eyes, all she could do was nod, keep quiet and brace her for the first lash of the belt. The pain was excruciating as he hit he over and over, the belt cutting into Beth's sensitive pale flesh as he hit Beth the final time drawing blood and smirking at the sight he hit her once more. Beth held onto the ties till her nails digs into her palms, drawing some blood. Liam smirked putting down his belt and taking his knife and started teasing Beth with it running the blade down Beth's bare skin she bit her lip. Her nails digging further into her palms, if she begged him to stop or screamed he would beat her worse. Digging into Beth's flesh once again he cut into her, warm blood running down her side, Beth tried not to cry out as the pain ripped through her.

Liam teased Beth with the blade again, moving down further around to the lower back. Beth jolted as he dug and cut into her, Beth tasted blood bit her lip hard. She didn't know how much more she could take of this, his belt the hits and the cutting into her skin was painful. But this pain ripping through her entire body was incredible Beth jolted again as Liam dug in and cut her deeper then moving the blade up to her ribs. Gripping onto the ties Beth wasn't going to give Liam the satisfaction, Liam, put the knife down.

"That's my good little bitch, you take what I give you so good, your mine forever Beth don't you forget it."

Picking up his lighter Beth knew what was coming next, (he was going to brand) her meaning Liam was almost done. The flick of the lighter and Beth dared not to move braced herself for the burning. She wished her self away, from Liam's taunts and the burning of her skin.

She was at her family home, her daddy, Maggie, her mother, Shawn – they were all laughing like they used to.

Waiting for the pain to end, then feeling the remaining of the clothes being stripped away and her body being covered by Liam's rough hands working his way down her body...Beth wishes herself away.

Then Liam was gone and he was in Liam's place, she was taken off the hook and pushed her against the wall slightly bending her over and spreading her legs, undoing his pants he started rubbing against her before pressing into her. All she could do was wish her away.

xxxx end memory xxxx

Beth jolted awake, with a start her breathing heavy. She looked at the clock on her dresser: two am, trying to slow her breathing she listened to the rain on her window.

'Just was just a memory just a dream his not here he can't hurt you,' Beth thought to herself listening for moments from her sleeping family.

To her relief they seemed undistributed, Beth silently walked down to the downstairs bathroom.

Letting the shower run hot wiping the fog off the mirror with her hand, Beth stripped and got in letting the hot water run over her washing away the memory of his touch. The anger, the fear, maybe it was time she let someone in, let someone help her, remembering what she promised Maggie earlier that day. Maybe opening up to her, letting her in, letting some of it out, maybe she could get rid of it. Finally starting to heal would allow her to close the door, letting go of her demons, she would be finally be able to move on.

Drying and getting dressed knowing she wouldn't be able to sleep the rest of the night she went to the family books finding her mother's old bible she brought to her lips. Taking a seat on the porch being careful not to make noise, Beth settled in the seat and began to read her favourite bible passages, wanting for the sun to rise. Beth wondered if she could tell Maggie, if she wanted talk to her tomorrow, could she really do it?

Morning came and Beth watched as the rain clouds passed feeling the warmness of the sun as it rose. After a while Beth went inside and started on breakfast, not long after Hershel and Maggie made their way down stairs long followed by Otis his wife Patricia and Jimmy. Beth hugged her father and Maggie good morning before turning back to breakfast, missing the look of concern between Maggie and Hershel. During breakfast was quiet, Beth still wondering whether she could talk to Maggie, than everyone got on with their chores.

Beth fed the chickens, collected the eggs and collected water from the well. After she looked at the generator, with her father like she did every morning. Some of the cattle got out from a busted part of the fence, they had to mend the fence and find the cattle. Beth was helping Maggie and Otis, meanwhile Hershel, Jimmy and Patricia tended to the barn. Some of the walkers had gotten out, trying find and secure them in back in them barn as quick and quietly as possible without Beth knowing or involving her.

It was well into the afternoon when Otis went hunting and didn't return, worrying Patricia. Hershel reassured Patricia that Otis was fine, that he was just taking his time, Patricia knowing that Hershel was right since he knew her husband better than anyone. Otis takes all precautions when it comes to tracking and hunting buck, even if he had track one for hours he was always back before dark, buck or no buck.

Later Maggie was sitting on the porch when a man running towards their farm caught her eye. Looking through the binoculars she saw that he had a boy in his arms and both were covered in what looked like blood.

"Dad?!"

A/N; until next time lovely readers, reviews always welcome. ox


	4. hurt

A/n.; I do apoogise for the last chapter I found a part in bracks I missed I will keep a closer eye on that in furture, and this chapter is very rough, and uneven but bare with me, It was hard to write, I had some trouble with it. I want to thank my beta for smoothing it over for me. Hopefully the next chapter will be better. :)

Trigger warnings; swearing. Mentions of abuse,

Your Love echoes

Chapter 4; hurt.

Beth came and stood on the porch with the rest of her family and watched as the man approached. Behind in the distance was two other figures struggling to catch up. Beth watched as her father went down the stairs and met with the man .

''Was he bit?" the man shook his head.

''Shot by your man," the man's attention still on her father.

"Otis?" Patricia gasped as she went down the stairs.

"He said to see a man named Hershel is that you?" Hershel nodded.

Beth watched as the man became a little more desperate, Beth's heart started to grow heavy for the man that was familiar; she just couldn't place him.

"Help me please …my boy ! ''

Beth's father suggested that Rick follow him into the house.

"Hurry!" Hershel guided the man to the spare bedroom on the first floor and they began to try and save the boy's life. Beth stood and watched , she could see and hear what was going on as her father gave instructions; Maggie and Patricia assisting him.

Beth wasn't all there; she was on edge from lack of sleep due to memories of Liam and his laughter echoing through her head. The man did seem familiar, she thought, he said his name was Rick or was she imagining it? Beth couldn't focus, everything was screaming in her head. He was familiar she just couldn't place him.

Deciding she was no help in her current state, Beth decided that leaving the room was the best option , she decided to lie down for a while. Beth prayed for a dreamless sleep not to see Liam when she closed her eyes. Surprisingly, it came.

When Beth woke ,her heart was heavy with the bad news, the boy- who name was Carl - was not doing well, He had internal bleeding and the bullet had shattered in pieces that had to be taken out in order for him to live. Where the pieces were, infection was setting in and Carl was going downhill fast. Her father didn't have the things he needed to help him perform the much needed surgery. Part of the procedure was to put the youth under but without the instruments came with risk of slipping away.

Beth couldn't even imagine what his parents were going through her heart broke for them. Beth knew Otis was blaming himself even if it was in accident. She knew he would take on himself to help so Beth wasn't surprised when Otis volunteered to help get the things they needed to help the boy. He left after packing the truck with the other man Shane, who came with Carl Otis felt it was the least he could do to get the boy well again.

Beth kept out of the way, having one of her down days didn't help at all, she felt hopeless but she needed to take care of herself before she could help anyone else.

Dinner that night was quiet hardly anyone one spoke given the circumstances Beth didn't really mind it was peaceful in a way. Beth knew her father wasn't keen on having strangers in the house but with the boy her father wouldn't kick them out either, well at least not yet.

Beth was on the porch later on in the evening, Maggie came out with tea.

"I thought you would come out here, I brought you tea it will help you sleep, another bad turn huh?" Beth smiled sadly at Maggie nodding.

Maggie kissed Beth on the forehead before handling her a cup and sitting next to Beth.

"Sorry for disappearing today, it's just … not a good day I guess. No sleeping with me on edge..."

Beth looked out, watching the sun set and feeling the gentle breeze around them, Beth closed her eyes. She felt her sister's eyes studying her but Beth kept her eyes closed thinking.

Should I tell Maggie about Liam? She thought to herself. Maggie has been so patient and she did help me with the sleeping pills, and not tell dad, maybe just tell her little things see how it goes.

A small smile came across Beth's lips, holding her cup in both hands she watched straight ahead, the sun covered by the mountains and the darkness started to creep on them . They will see the stars soon Beth loved the stars.

"Liam wasn't always like this, when I first met Liam he was handsome, charismatic, and had green eyes, sly smile. He was a little older then I was and he had every girl's attention. It was quiet ridiculous, being only 16 and in my sophomore in high school, didn't think he would take in interest in me..."

Beth laughed a little at the memory.

"He drew people in, you know, like they were naturally drawn to him . Liam was like gravity he was loved by everyone... he was artistic, great at sport... quite charming when he wanted to be... "

Beth suddenly felt pain and her heart was heavy again, had she said maybe a little too much? She trailed off turning her cup in her hand, she felt Maggie's eyes on her . She knew Maggie was listening, but Beth also found it easier then she thought to talk to Maggie, she was quiet again, the screen door opened and Hershel came out.

'' Maggie can you give me a hand?"

Maggie nodded and rose from her chair, she was surprised Beth opened up a little to her about Liam. It was more of how they met but it was a start and Maggie wasn't going to push Beth . She decided that to let Beth tell her the rest when she was ready and left her to her thoughts.

Shane returned alone later that night, saying Otis helped him escape but didn't make it . He was killed by walkers, but only Hershel heard, the others weren't told about Otis death until later . Hearing that Beth's father had saved Carl's life was satisfying news! Learning that Carl would recover brought a great relief to Beth in a way a kind of hope that miracles and good thing still happen . There was enough cruelty in this world and with another life being taken there was* great sadness in the family . When her father and Rick told Patricia , the poor woman had collapsed upon hearing the news and hearing Patricia's cries through the house, made Beth's heart break. Beth and Maggie hugged each other letting silent tears fall, Otis wasn't just a friend, he basically grew up on the farm, took care of it, he was family.

When her father told Beth and Maggie how Otis died, Beth didn't really believe it, it felt and sounded wrong, like it was a half –truth . One lie to cover a lie, sounds like bullshit, she knew it wasn't the entire truth, but Beth said nothing. It sounded a lot like something Liam used to do to cover up his lies she thought to herself . Beth didn't notice she was digging into her palms until she saw a bit of blood under her nails. Why couldn't that just be left alone? Everything reminded her of Liam today, and it still frustrated her when this stranger; this Rick was so familiar to her.

It was also the first night Beth woke up with her screaming echoing through the house.

A/N ; until next time, revews welcome. ox


	5. survivor

A/n sorry for such a late update, things happen in life that you can't stop, and I haven't had a lot of free time lately, but I am not abandoning the story, an abuse story isn't all that easy to write at times, even with back up material, you will learn more about Beth is chapter thank you for reading lovely readers, who ever has had the patience to stick to the story, reviews welcome. ox

Rating M

trigger warnings; mentions of past sexual and physical abuse, course language. If you don't wish to read memory skip down a little until end of memory.

chapters being edited with help of my beta.

Your love e echoes

_chapter 5; survivor. _

Beth rode into town she left just be dawn needing to get out of the house after last nights nightmare, anyway from everyone, her father, sister and the watchful eyes and questioning looks from Rick and his group Beth know or didn't trust any of them and as soon as the boy was better no doubt her father would send them on their way. She needed to get away from her father Especially, Hershel is patient but only up to a point and he knows Beth hasn't told him everything, what was she suppose to say to her father? That it went as far as Liam's father as well? That was more to it than torture there was also sexual abuse with liam's dad, Beth couldn't do that to her father she would rather not relive it. Admit it to herself, living with and coming to terms with she was a sex slave was hard enough but admitting to her family was heartbreaking.

To please liam then please his father making an arrangement they made between themselves, she satisfied them both she had no choice in the matter. She maybe never will or can tell her father or Maggie what really happen to her, reliving everything touch of liam and his father and detail of what they liked every time she closed her eyes, reliving and haunting in her dreams, picturing and feeling Liam's fathers hands over her, him pressing inside of her, her made her feel sick and shutter. They both claimed and branded her, she was their personal satisfaction.

Sometimes all she would remember is crawling in to bed, exhausted physically and emotionally blocking out the rest, they came in and or only Nathan Liam's father came in, when it was both they took turns until late into the night Liam's father came in last every time, when it was only his father he took his time every time, it was torture to Beth she just wanted it to be over. Liam was more about the physical pain. sometimes would feel like sex after but often not, while his father was more about the sexual pleasure. His own satisfaction and getting into Beth's pants and would get Beth at least 2- 3 times a day. After a while a deal was made.

xxxxxx start past memory xxxxxx

"you and I will come to an agreement of our own shall we?, no doubt you are a smart girl Beth, you know what I want, don't you? And what I will do to get it? Beth nodded "Good Beth," he moved closer "your sweet tight pussy and that ass of your will please me I think? Don't you think? Taking both holes may seem greedy considering my son, but that can be changed, and it seems such a waste to not to use a perfectly tight body like yours properly, so I will control my son his temper and in return I get a taste, you will open your legs for me, your sweet tight pussy and tight ass of yours will be mine when I desire it, you will please me when you here and will sleep over every second weekend and leaving later every evening"

she was unable to move was she really going to do this? Risk it to stop the pain as often, was he going to keep his word and control his son or use her like liam did? But she was against the wall and He was already undoing his pants and pushed Beth further against the wall.

"let see how tight you are, you may be a good little slut yet,"

Beth closed her eyes as she felt his tip teasing her entrance rubbing himself against her groaning

"so tight and wet, you like this don't you? And a bet you ass is going to be even tighter, Like the feeling don't you?, Mmm soo good, such a good slut aren't you? Never going to sick of this. I am going to bend you over or your going to ride my cock every chance I get you to my self? As long as you keep quiet and open these legs of yours for me, liam will be dealt with" and not long after that he entered her in one quick move, Beth gasped in pain, he was too big and impatient he never did prepare her as he groaned in satisfaction.

Then after a while of moving and out of her. He moved to her ass slowly entering her. "yes you will do nicely, do you feel good yet Beth?" Beth bit her lip as he entered her deeper, "Mmm so tight, all mine, don't worry, I will fill both holes equally. I will make you my little slut. when I am done with you will asking me for more. Even when and if your are not with my son any more you will always belong to me as the deal still stands. This is a long term agreement I claim you when I wish and I see fit, your body will belong to me until I say otherwise. but I don't that is going to happen. you will always belong to me Beth always."

he continued to moving in and out of her, all Beth do do was think of some where else. Feeling his hot breath on her and his growling moans, think of anywhere else but here.

xxxxxx end of memory xxxxxx

Beth didn't have a choice, she was to serve one or the other, father or son, so she pleased the father and he kept his word, the torture happened less and less and eventually stopped, but the demand of the father became more constant. Beth shivered at the memory. She did found herself wanting more and she cursed and hated her self for it.

If they came back. If they were out there alive she would like to think she would tell them both to go to hell.

Shuttering again Pushing her thoughts aside she looked for what she came for it was her comfort sometimes it didn't help but when it did she would rest and close her eyes unafraid sleeping pills became her only weapon against the memories she would rather forget. And pain killers against the pain she got sometimes from old scars.

Beth was grateful to Maggie but Maggie could only do so much with out their father knowing. And another thing was her mother use to make sun catchers, she needed her mother now more the ever, and needed a reminder of her to know she wasn't alone because she knew if Liam or Nathan came back she may not be able to say what she wanted to say she may not have the strength and they will get their way again she didn't want to be controlled again especially by **Nathan**.

Then Beth was stopped by moaning up road only to be knocked off her horse.

xxxxxx

Maggie came out of the house looking for her father "Dad. have you seen Beth? I went to check on her and she wasn't there"

Hershel at those words, dropped what was doing and helped Maggie look for his daughter, after an hour they ran out of places they thought she would be and worry started to set in for both, by lunch time they were starting to panic, it wasn't like Beth to be gone this long with out at least letting them know where she was going.

Maggie went to Rick and his group

"you guys haven't seen Beth by any chance have you? We haven't seen her all day and she doesn't usually leave without telling us where she is going. We're beginning to worry. "

Rick was the first to speak "when did you see her last".

Maggie hesitated for a few moments, she hasn't seen Beth since last night she stopped her father from barging in and demanding Beth to talk to him, another thing she noticed was Beth nightmares were getting worse, she was really starting to worry for her sister but she promised herself not to push her until she was ready.

"not since last night. But she is usually the first up every morning."

the group was silent again, before each of said they hadn't seen her. It took not long after for something to come to Maggie,

"oh Beth, please tell me you didn't" not long after Maggie started running for the house stable, only to find a horse missing "shit" Maggie turned to see Rick and some of the group behind her,

"Maggie?" Maggie saw her father move around the group, "is there something your not telling me?" Maggie sighed

"there a little creek, just out side the town through the trees she goes there sometimes, for pictures and it has some of Annette's glass sun catchers, it where she goes to get away"

Hershel closes his eyes "don't tell my it's the one near the pharmacy?" Maggie nodded

"I told you not to press things" Hershel was about to answer when Shane cut in

"don't tell me you were stupid enough to let her go into place where the place is full of walkers?" Maggie glared at Shane but said nothing.

"shit, great, that's just great. why don't wave a banner while your at it, telling where we are."

Rick stepped forward "enough, you have do so much for us, so I will go and find Beth"

Carol steppe forward "your stopping the search for my daughter to looking for, his daughter? some we don't even know, how is that fair I am not going anywhere without finding my daughter"

rick raised his hands "no one is calling off anything, but a town of walkers, every thing he has done for us..."

Daryl pipped up "Ricks right, it ain't right, I'm in, I can track her"

carol walked off before anything else was said, Shane scoffed and soon followed behind Carol.

Maggie moved forward "I'll go with you" Hershel moved forward "No, you won't there a re things we need to discuss". Maggie sighed and followed her father, which raised my questions in the group but none were asked, it wasn't their business really no one pushed ether except maybe Shane but Rick will have to deal with it if and when they came to it, but it really wasn't a mater of time just a matter of when.

Later that day Daryl and Rick set off to look for Beth, Lori didn't argue which surprised Rick but everything they had done for them this was the least they would do and Lori understood that.

xxxxxx

meanwhile Beth had escaped being thrown off her horse, the were a whole lot of them, were these what they called walkers? They all went for her, gabbing her, she had killed two before holing herself up in a corner store, but she didn't know how long it will hold or how she had been there, but she was felling pretty stupid right now, for not telling anyone where she was going.

She just hoped some would see she was missing and come looking, with that there was a loud bang Beth breath caught in her throat as she ran toward the part where the walkers were trying to get in pressing against it, she hoped someone would get in time to help her.

A/n; sorry about this chapter I honesty wasn't sure where to go. But, stay tuned to see what happens to Beth, will Rick and Daryl get to her in time? See in next chapter. Until then lovely reads thanks for reading. Reviews always welcome ox


	6. strength

Your Love Echoes

Chapter 6; strength.

Rating M

warnings for chapter; mentions past sexual abuse, mild course language, mild violence.

Beta helping me with chapters.

Maggie followed Hershel in the house.. .Hershel asked Jimmy and Patricia to finish the chores leaving the two alone to talk.

Maggie sighed looking at her father. "I know what you want to ask, but I can't Dad. I promised Beth, Beth is slowing opening up to me, but I know she will close up if you keep on pushing her. Beth knows you love her and you just want to help but if you keep pushing her to talk to you she will close up completely."

Hershel was taken back by what his Maggie said Beth was opening up to Maggie? Talking to her about Liam but not to him? Hershel knew Beth was hiding things from him he knew she wasn't tell them everything she was holding back he sighed running his hand over his face, was he pressing her too hard? Was that why Beth wouldn't talk, or come to him for help?

But he was relieved, proud even to have his daughters so close that Beth could go to Maggie for anything, when she couldn't go to him that is what he loved most about his daughters they were always there for each other. Then there were times like this where they hid things from him.

"I need to know the truth Maggie, is Beth in pain? Is she the one taking the bottles of pain killers, and sleeping pills? Counting the bottles I found 3 of each missing now either I miss counted or..."

Maggie sighed she knew her father would noticed eventually and she would have to tell him. But she also knew and feared if she told him he would push Beth to tell him what she not telling him and she will close up even distance herself even more, but he will keep asking until she told him.

"I took them for her she was in pain and not sleeping. Beth has pain and aches from her old scars and nightmares, they help a little but not always, she only takes them when it is really bad. Beth didn't want to worry or bother you. But dad please... you have got to give her space and time, Beth will come to you, she just isn't quite ready yet. Beth wanted to get away a just for a little while to clear her head, she didn't know…"

Hershel sighed and hugged Maggie, "alright I will wait until she is ready, can't I worry about my girls?" Maggie sighed returning his hug laughing a little, "that the problem dad you worry too much."

xxxx start of past memory xxxx

Nathan sat in his chair, beside him Beth was removing her jeans and underwear once done she moved on top of him, he then spread her legs. They were in his office, no else at home, he spread her legs wider his hand between her legs rubbing her and working his pants open he lowered Beth onto him. Beth grabbed and held on to the back of Nathan's desk as he worked he way slowly into her,

"Still so tight Beth, you're going to ride my cock until I cum, then I am going to bend you over and fill that tight ass of yours. You're such a good little slut Beth you ride my cock in your pussy so good, so good".

He took Beth hands putting them around his shoulders. Beth gasped as he went deeper, lifting her up and down with ease. Nathan then laid her on the desk he started to moving his hips up further into her, quickening the pace, Beth whimpered and bit her lip Nathan smirked groaning his satisfaction before he sat her down on him again Beth started to move up and down on length.

Then she felt his hands under her ass to speed up the pace, '' that's it Beth ride me, felt it, feels good doesn't it? Such a good and tight little slut aren't you, you will feel even better when I fill you with my cum."

xxxx end memory xxxx

Beth jolted up suddenly caused her to hit her head against the table, wince and quietly whimpered in pain trying not to make noise. She must have climbed under to try and get some rest when she had first come into the cabin.

The sun was setting, and it had been quiet for a while, it made Beth to think maybe all was clear? Then she heard voice outside:

"Find anything? This is around where Maggie and Hershel said she would be"

Rick was worried, he knew something wasn't right with Beth he just wasn't sure what it was. He knew she had pain and suffered nightmares, he had seen Maggie with Beth the night before giving pills when he was checking on Carl. The way Beth jump at small things and moved away from any sort of human touch, accept Maggie or Hershel was suspicious, but Rick hadn't said anything because it wasn't his place. What he was concerned about was the group and the questioning looks at the family, no one had said anything yet, but if Shane pushed it they would have a problem, he knew Shane too well. He might have talk to Hershel and warn how Shane to be, just talk about some things, but he also knew there a fine line with Hershel and if he crossed it the could lose the safety of the farm, some, if not all of the group were get too use too.

"Maybe she ain't here," one look at Rick and Daryl sighed he knew Rick won't leave without her,

A sudden banging and moaning of walkers got her attention, Beth had tried to check thing out but she knocked some cans off the shelf and found herself cornered again.

Rick and Daryl straightened as a faint noise caught their attention. From behind the bushes they saw something strange.

"All those walkers in one place something drew them."

There was smashing of glass and a scream, Rick and Daryl both started running towards the corner store.

xxxx

Carl had woken up to see his dad missing, Lori had come to see Carl earlier and Carl asked where he was what his mother told him surprised him, but he understood. He knew what his dad was doing was the right thing to do and what Hershel did for them he should be grateful. But he couldn't help but feel a little angry at his dad, Sophia was still missing and they should still be looking for her but his dad is out looking for Beth and not his friend. He didn't what anything to happen to Beth he wouldn't want that for anyone, but this was Sophia, and his dad promised him he wouldn't stop until he found her.

Carl spent the rest of the day not talking to anyone he just wanted to be left alone, his lunch his mother brought him in earlier still untouched. This worried everyone because of the bullet wound on his stomach was still infected and he needed to keep his energy level up. Shane had tried to talk to the youth but Carl remained silent, leaned back and closed his eyes signalling to the former officer that he didn't care what he had to say.

Hershel was worried it was getting dark and were still not back, losing his wife was more than he could bare, losing his Beth would break his heart. Maggie came in putting her hand on his shoulder kissed he the top of her father's head.

"They will find her, she will come home; it will be alright you know that right? Just give it time." Then Maggie left to help Patricia in the kitchen.

xxxx

Rick and Daryl reached where Beth was. Beth was being pulled out of the window by two walkers, Rick reached where she was Daryl shot one walker rick stabbed the other in the head. Beth fell forward into Rick's arms only to have him steady her, Beth gasped grabbing on to Ricks arms her aches were catching up to her. Her knee and wrist was cut and was painful she must of hit some glass or something she couldn't quite remember, and from the incredible pain running though Beth's side was pretty sure three of her ribs were either cracked or bruised from the fall. Realising what she was holding on to long she let go only to feel dizzy and immediately held up for support by Rick and Daryl, Beth winced in pain.

Rick placed his hand on Beth lower back, she flinched a little but after a few moments Beth leaned into Rick touch. The man asked in concern, "you alright?"

Beth took a few moments to answer looking at Rick, the genuine tone in his voice surprised her, 'he really was concern about her?' Rick was different. Beth closed eyes could she trust him? But considering how hurt she was and where she was.

"No I am not. It hurts, I fell off my horse, my knee and wrist is cut I wrapped them up the best I could and I think I have cracked or bruised a few ribs, I need to get out of here."

Rick and Daryl look at each other but it was Rick who spoke, "let's get you out of here."

Daryl looked behind him raising his bow, "Rick, we gotta move."

Rick pulled his knife turning to Beth, "stay close to me and Daryl."

Beth nodded and moved between them Rick and Daryl moved in formation Daryl shooting one in the head pulling out then moving next to Beth Rick putting his knife though another walkers head

Before grabbing a hitting another walker, before two grabbed Rick pushing against a car Rick dropped the knife and couldn't quiet reach his gun.

Daryl cursed 'shit 'when is bow got stuck and couldn't reload it Beth saw a metal bar nearby, picking up she drove it through the walkers head with all her strength, narrowing missing the right side of Rick face. Daryl managed to reload by then and shot another in the head, Beth dropped the bar shaking, blood running down Beth's wrist and knee making her feel light headed her knees buckle.

Rick and Daryl rushed to hold her up, Daryl looked at Rick, "she ain't looking to good, gotta get her out of here."

Rick nodded and picked up Beth, Beth too weak to protest but for some reason she felt safe in Ricks arms. Daryl moved in front, they had moved through most of the walkers, Daryl shouldered his bow he couldn't risk it jamming again pulling out his knife he will have to check his bow back at the farm.

They managed to get to the car without any more trouble. The ride back was quiet with Beth sleeping most of the way but every now and then whimpered in pain a little. Rick glanced in the mirror every so often first he thought it was from the pain, but then thought came to his attention 'was she dreaming?'

xxxx

Hershel and Maggie was waiting outside when they pulled up, Beth got out and ran straight them, "I'm sorry daddy."

Hershel hugged Beth tightly "I'm just glad you're alright."

The farmer looked Rick and Daryl and nodded, "thank you both for bring my Beth home."

Both nodded in return before Hershel and Maggie led Beth into the house.

Beth let her father check her over she had minor cuts and bruises from the fall, her cut knee being the worst of them, Hershel cleaned and dressed her knee,

"I am really sorry dad I just needed to get away for a while. It was stupid of me not to tell you where I was going." Hershel kissed Beth's forehead before leaving the room.

Maggie pulled her in to in embrace, "he not angry at you, you just scared him. If he is angry at anyone it's me, I told him an out the pills." Beth glared at her sister, Maggie raised her hands, "I didn't tell him, he it did a recount of them the morning and figured it out on his own but I told them it was me. He is worried about you Beth."

Beth sighed, "I know. I want to tell him I do, I'm just not ready yet."

Maggie hugged her, "I know but you have start letting people in sometime".

Hershel stood outside the room where his daughters were in, he sighed before walking away. He knew Beth would eat the food that Maggie would bring into her room later. This was another time Hershel was thankful they were close as they were.

Lori walked up to Rick later making sure he was all alright she bought up Carl.

"You need to talk to Carl, he's angry you left after you promised him about Sophia, he's been shutting people out all day"

Rick sighed and kissed Lori "I will talk to Carl." But first Rick need to talk to Hershel if Shane raised to many questions about Beth, he could stir up the whole group that was the last thing they needed. Not wanting to admit himself but he was concern about Beth. Why was she so familiar to him? Ever since he came to the farm he was something about Beth that was familiar about her, like he knew her from somewhere but didn't recall from where. There was something there that drew him to her but was it just concern or was it something more?

A/n; next chapter Rick over hears Beth speak her thoughts to a sleeping Carl, what does he over hear? Stayed tuned to find out, until then lovely readers, keep reading. Reviews welcome. Deadlove ox.


	7. comfort of a stranger

Your Love Echoes

chapter 7; Comfort of a stranger.

Rating M

Warnings; mentions of past abuse, use of pain killers, mentions of suicide attempt and course language.

Beta Spitfire47 helping with editing of chapters

Later that night after eating her sister bought to her room, Beth couldn't rest because her side was throbbing. Maggie had slipped her some pain killers and some sleeping pills to help her sleep but they hadn't any effect yet. After what Rick did for her today, he somehow made her feel so safe and the concern and something else she couldn't quite put her hand on but he was so familiar. When Shane jokingly called him sheriff or was it officer friendly? a few days ago something clicked 'Rick Grimes', he was sheriff Grimes, the very deputy sheriff who had helped her.

When she tried to end it with Liam and got herself a beating in return, he was the deputy sheriff who put out a warrant for his arrest and later got shot because of it. He was sheriff who was always in her prayers and at the back of her mind hoping that he made it, and that he was out there somewhere safe and alive was his wife and son. The same son who was shot by Otis about a few days before the very man died.

Beth found herself outside the room where Carl was sleeping soundly, food untouched next to him. Beth moved closer to him, Carl seemed to be in his own world when he slept away from the pain, chaos and cruelty of this new world, Beth reached over to him gently moving his hair aside.

Beth sighed. "So peaceful, so strong, so loved, I envy you Carl," Beth whispered to him.

Rick sighed moving along the familiar hall to see his son, he and Lori had just had another disagreement. Or was it a fight he hardly knew any more with her? About breaking the promise he made to Carl. He was angry and shutting everyone out, to talk to him she said that whatever he had to talk to Hershel about could wait, then she turned on her heel and left.

He sighed rubbing his eyes, Lori seemed more distant these days, and they were fighting more, half the time he doesn't even know what their fights about any more. Until Rick reached the room, he suddenly stopped at Beth whispering the words into his son ear, the way she brushed his hair out of his face with care, for a girl so gentle to look... to be in so much pain. Alone and to be so scared. Rick watched Beth sigh and rub her eyes then she did something he thought she would never do, she opened up a little to his son.

"I don't what to do any more I don't sleep more than 3 hours a night without waking in cold sweats or in pain. I say I am ok be happy front on for my family, but I'm not, not really... I am not as strong as you I'm struggling. I don't remember, when the last time I have remembered any happy memories with my family, I remember a lot of things before Liam...

She smiled a little but there was sadness behind it and loneliness. Rick's breath caught in his throat as he leaned against the door way and listened. He didn't know what it was he felt like this was something private between Beth and son yet his heart warmed at the sight of Beth and he couldn't walk away either.

"Otis chasing me around the farm, or taking me on rides on the tractor, Patricia and my mum dancing in the kitchen while baking usually causing my dad or Maggie in to dancing with them. The light in her eyes, the way my mum laughed so carefree... but after it was different with Liam, soulless, there were moments he could be gentle, but they were few. He had a temper, and a certain way things need to be and if it wasn't his way... well let's just say cover make up was used quite a lot during high school. To cover the worst of the bruises, his temper was the worse about him... so afraid, shamed and scared of breaking my family apart so I stayed and became stuck'.

''Then Nathan came along...he came and told me he could make things better...he could make the pain go away..."

Beth bowed her head silently chastising herself steadying her breathing her head down almost as she was stuck in her head in past memories she was like that for a few moments chastising herself.

Rick narrowed his eyes on her body language, Rick knew she wasn't telling everything there was more to her story, but what was it or who was she so afraid of? Then Beth spoke again.

"I didn't know what he had planned for me or what his true intentions were and when I did it was too late. It was either him or Liam... but it all came at a price. I hardly know my family any more, I spent most of my energy hiding the truth of my life so it wouldn't effect or hurt theirs. I don't know or have any happy memories of my family and only memories of them haunting me... I turned to pain killers and sleeping pills instead of my family. It breaks my heart to not tell them the truth or why I've been living so distant lately an arm's length. Maggie has been great I could tell her little things of Liam how we met and some of the after but my Dad is a different story. I am toxic I hurt everyone I love and better I kept it this way. I don't know if I can or will ever be ready to tell the whole truth or if they do will they ever forgive me or…."

Beth wiped her escaping tears, Rick watched her in concern, hurt and awe? He stayed where he was but couldn't help but want to reach out to her, to help her.

"No its better they don't know safer...I actually tried it you know? Killing myself, thinking it would ease the burden on them from knowing the truth and I would be free from all of it. You know what stopped me? Liam in my head egging me on to do it...then my mother knocked on the bathroom door. My hand bloody from holding the glass in my hand so tight, the glass was on my skin felt so hot and cool all at the same time like him it could of ended that night. My hurt, my pain, my loneliness but... then my mother came and knocked and I lost my nerve. It didn't cut deep enough to kill me but gave me 7 stitches in my wrist... a week of rest before I was back where I started again."

Beth ran her fingers along her left wrist over the long sleeve of her shirt before sighing and running her hands over her face she inhaled sharp . The pills were finally taking an effect and will be drowsy soon. So she moved to Carl kissed a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"Don't be angry with your dad forever, he only did what he thought was right. I would never wish harm to any one through it turned out quite differently for me and not eating doesn't help your injuries now does it." Beth moved closer brushing her hand over his hair.

"I am grateful to your dad. He saved my life more than once and he paid the price and pulled through, he is as strong as you. Your dad will never know how grateful I am or how he help me at the hospital or how I prayed for your family's safety every day. Your family is so strong I never realised or who he was until now, don't be angry Carl cause you will never know it until it is taken from you. I am so envious of what you have, I wish it was like that again but it just can't be." With that Beth stood from the seat and made her way out of the room Rick moved to the shadows and watch her leave.

Rick froze at Beth's words about him, he save me more than once? The hospital, the price? Rick quietly chastised himself and his realisation was quick his lips parted a little and his eyes went wide, Beth Greene? King county hospital before he was shot he was questioning a girl who was badly beaten by her abusive boyfriend and left in the woods after she tried to leave him, and Beth was that girl? He was shot that day and when he was on the road, he too would think of that girl from time to time, hoped she was ok and out there somewhere.

Now she was grown up and was sitting next to his son, she left the room was no hope or no good memories of her family just ones of the abuse? She didn't think she was strong? How could she think that? She was a strong woman. He had seen it when she was in the hospital.

Rick made up his mind right there and then, he promised himself that he would change it. He would remind her of the happy memories with her family, he would give her an ear if she needs it, and pay back in kindness the family had given to his son and family. The kindness that should have been shown to her tomorrow he would start with little things.

A/n; so what do you guys think? What will happen between Rick and Lori? See tensions rising yet? Stay tuned to find out, til then lovely readers keep reading reviews welcome. Ox


	8. only human

Your Love Echoes

Chapter 8: Only human.

Warnings: mentions of past abuse, use of pain killers and past under age drinking, more Rick and Beth moments (finally yay!)

My beta Spitfire47 helping me with editing of chapters.

Jimmy was getting on Beth last nerve. Her father had asked Jimmy to watch Beth which she annoyed with – bad enough Jimmy was asked. He had attached himself to her side and didn't let her go anywhere by herself. She was going through a rough patch every now and then and last night was one. Beth had another nightmare last night, a bad one, no doubt Beth had woken the whole house and the group camping outside.

When Beth first walked out she couldn't look at the group, she walked passed them with her eyes forward. She did hear some of the group say good morning but she didn't reply Beth silently chastised herself. Forcing herself to relax she walked at a fast pace forcing Jimmy to run to catch up.

There were a lot of things she couldn't tell her sister and father but the nightmare she had last night was her biggest secret and shame. The most regret was tied to it but it was something that needed to be done and was never to be, another thing she was never to have and the only person she told was her mother. A few days after her mother was bitten, her mother didn't judge her nor was she mad, she just hugged her, told her she was proud of her and loved her. Thinking about it, Beth thought it was Nathan's, but wasn't completely sure but the fact, the possibilities alone it still hurt Beth but then she would remember her mother and what she said it calmed her, the thought she wasn't alone helped.

But no one else knew not even Liam or Nathan, which Beth was thankful for it was the only good thing about it, god only knows what they would have done if they knew. Jimmy was calling her name but by the time Beth turned Jimmy wasn't in sight, she had reached the end fence of the farm and no idea how she got there. The well for the animals were ahead so she worked her way over not bothering to answer Jimmy it didn't matter if he went to her father she needed time alone to think and clear her head, from last night.

She was tired from the previous night only sleeping 2-3 hours before waking in a cold sweat. Pain shot up her body making Beth cry out.

Her mind raced backwards as if on rewind to the point where she had taken up drinking in the early days before telling her mother anything. Just Beth and whatever was cheap hidden in a hole in her wall she cover up with loose bricks. Paying guys at school who were looking for a quick buck, before Maggie found out, Beth refused to tell her sister how she got the alcohol, or why but promised to stop in exchange for Maggie not to tell their father but still had some stashed away for really bad days. Maggie looked but never found where Beth hid it, but Beth had never really dealt with it so she still had thoughts of taking a drink every now and then but fought it. Even though she was not a kid any more she still under age.

Beth reached the well and leaned on the side for a moment only to gasp and fall back, there was something down there in the water.

xxxx

Meanwhile Rick was still working out how to approach Beth, her words from last night still fresh in his mind. The way Beth acted this morning it was clear something was wrong, but he didn't want to approach her just yet. He had seen and been involved with abuses cases before when he was deputy sheriff, though the cases are rarely the same, they have the same outcome if forced to talk. They will protect themselves by shutting down completely, their body language changes.

Rick needs to show her she can trust him, show her she can talk to him, that she could came to him if she needs to. Then he wondered if she actually saw him standing there when she left last night and if so why she didn't say anything or had he imagined the whole thing? Before he could continue his thoughts, Lori snapped him out of his thoughts putting her arms around him kissing his check.

"Where did you go?''

Rick smiled returning Lori's kiss.

''Nowhere, I am here" but Rick's attention was elsewhere.

xxxx

Beth moved a little closer to look in to see what was there, a soft growling and moaning emitting from the well. She moved to the side of the well to remove to wood covering it, a thick rope was tied and secured to a bar when not used. She saw Jimmy running towards her Beth turned her attention back to the well placing one foot on edge wanting a closer look. Beth gasped and slipped, not being able to regain her balance in time she fell in the well, grabbing at the rope falling half way down before grabbing the rope hitting her shoulder and side on her head on the bricks, causing Beth to cry out she held on half way above the thing making the noises.

Jimmy saw Beth fall in and broke into a run, sliding slightly on the dirt as he reached the well. He leaned over the well seeing Beth hanging on to the rope half way down with a walker just below her and her head and shoulder cover in what looks like blood.

''Beth?! Oh god, Beth, just hold on, I'm gonna get some help just hold on!''

Breaking into a run back to the farm, Jimmy prayed that Beth could hold on just a little longer, long enough to get help.

xxxx

The group had just finished breakfast, and was getting ready to continue their search for Sophia. T-dog and Carol had left early with their area grid map Lori insisted on going this time and wouldn't listen to reasons let alone from Rick. Making the point their son laid shot and the promise of Sophia being found alive, she didn't even give Rick a chance to respond before Shane give her a gun and they got in the car and left.

Rick didn't argue there was no point, Rick ran his hand over his face before turn away and face the next group and grind area to take. There was Daryl this surprised Rick because he figured Daryl would go with Carol a friendship seemed to developing between them. Glenn, Andrea, Dale and himself, but Andrea seemed more interested in watching then the search and Dale wouldn't leave his van, so it was just him and Glenn, his was just about to head out when the car Shane headed on in came back and Jimmy jumped out.

''I need help Beth fell in the well at the back of the farm, we only use it for the cattle and animals but there is something in the bottom of the well. Beth hurt her shoulder and head I don't know how long she can hold on please help!'' Jimmy was out of breath, breathing sharp and heavy.

Rick was the first to speak. "Stay calm, deep breaths, can you show us where she is?'' Jimmy nodded and Rick, Glenn, Maggie who heard it coming over to ask Jimmy where Beth was? Refused to be left behind this time and was forced on Beth, Andrea, Shane, and Lori all made their way to the well. Jimmy rushed to the edge, '' Beth?! Oh no, no, Beth come on stay wake help is coming''

The rest of the group got there and Beth was hardly hanging on, and couldn't keep her eyes open, every now a then would jolt at the noise of the thing at the bottom of the well trying to grab her.

Glenn spoke up,'' Oh shit that's a walker in there with her...How long it been down there?"

Maggie started to panic, "Who cares? We have got to get Beth out of there!''

Rick moved forward silently looking around, before pulling on the rope testing it, without another word he moved over to the car removing more rope and tied it beside the first knot. He wound the other end to his waist.

"I'm going need you to lower me down to Beth, the when I have her I need you guys to pull us back up''

Shane scoffed, "seriously Rick you got a thing for her or somethin'? That's the second time you jumped in to save her.''

Rick glared at Shane, '' there isn't any time..'' but didn't finish when Rick went to the rope followed by Maggie, Glenn, and Daryl. Shane scoffed then joined them, leaving Lori to watch.

Inside the well, Beth finally saw that she was stuck with a walker and her pulsing wounds didn't help either.

By the sounds of it, there was nowhere else to go so Lori knew it was the right thing to do, Wether it was Rick or somebody else, but what Shane said made Lori wonder whether Shane was right. Was it just concern, Rick looking out for Beth and helping her or was there something more to it something Rick wasn't telling her?

Rick was lowered down to where Beth was just above the walker, the rope still jolting him a bit when it suddenly stopped. Rick looked up and heard a few say sorry, he reached out to Beth carefully lifting her chin to check her wounds, suddenly Beth stirred jolting at Rick's touch.

''Hey, shh, Beth it's okay its Rick. I am with some others, Jimmy saw you fall in and went for help. We're going to get you out of there okay? Can you hold on to me? Can you do that?''

Beth didn't trust herself to speak so she nodded Beth felt sleep and couldn't concentrate, she felt Rick place his hand under her chin.

''Hey, hey, you hit your head pretty good, I need you to stay awake for me can you do that? I will get you out of there and get you looked out okay just stay awake a little longer.''

Rick put Beth arms round him feeling her hold on to him he secured her making sure he had a good hold before giving the signal to pull them up. Rick carried Beth back to the car to take her back to the farm, the group gave questioning looks, going between Rick and before but said nothing before going back to trying to get the walker out of the well, worried about contamination to the water.

xxxx

When they got back to the farm, Hershel was sitting at the table when rick carried Beth inside in his arms Beth.

Beth felt safe in Ricks arms though she still was unsure why she was holding on to Rick's neck with one arm and shirt with the other hand gripping tightly. His scent seemed to calm her, it was a mix of earth, sweat and something else she couldn't quite place but she felt calm and safe with him. He was different to them he helped people, reached out to them, and his genuine concern for them. No doubt would protect the people he cares for, his calmness and strength, but why he cared about what happens to her was still a mystery to her.

But could she trust Rick? He was smart, gentle. Kind and caring, seemed protective and he helped prefect strangers. He was a good father and friend to his group, and a good leader. He help her, saved her life three times now, the men she prayed for, was there for her was there for her more than once and may have been there listening last night but if he had he had said nothing which made her wonder if he was or if she was imagining it? She chastened a little more, can she trust Rick? To her it was simple: yes.

Then she saw her father, Patricia and Rick standing over her bed.

Her father running his hand over her face and stroking her hair.

'Tomorrow' she thought to herself ' tomorrow I will talk to Rick, thank him, and see where else it leads.' That was the last thought Beth had before she slipped away in to the darkness of sleep from the pain killers her father gave her.

A/N; well lovely readers what do you think? Will Beth finally start opening up to rick? And what do you think Beth is hiding? Is it more about Liam and Nathan or something else entirely? And what will happen between Lori and Rick? Stay tuned to find out, until next time lovely readers. Reviews welcome ox.


	9. is she can he?

Your Love Echoes

Rating; M

Warnings: mild course language, mentions of past abuse, under -age drinking, mentions of self -harm.

My beta spitfire 47 is helping with editing of chapters

Chapter 9: is she, can he?.

Beth head throbbed as she slowly raised the next morning sun high in her window. She knew it was late morning and wondered why her father would let her sleep in so long. Looking at the time it was ten thirty, out the window the group was carry out chores around their camp site. Rick probably was going out again to today to search for Sophia. Beth tried ignoring the warm feeling when thinking of

Rick, it was the last thing she needed, that was the last place she wanted to go, but she did promise herself she would talk - or try to talk to Rick today.

But Beth also knew she had some feelings for Rick she just couldn't explain them to herself yet or how deep or far they went. She knew there was something there between them, which also made her hesitate to approach him.

Beth had promised her father she would rest and take it easy today so she took a seat on the porch with a cup of tea . She was not the type of person to lie in bed unless there was a reason and her father knew it. Beth felt rough not just from yesterday events but the last few days her throat was raw. It was a cool morning and Beth loved the early morning breezes , she would rise early in the morning to watch the sun rise and feel the peaceful breeze waiting for everyone to wake up for the morning chores.

Closing her eyes trying not to remember but no matter how she tried it was one memory that stayed with her and changed her life for ever.

xxxx past xxxx

Nathan told Beth to wait in his study when the door opened both Nathan and Liam came in.

'' Now Beth it's Liam's birthday and we are going to give him a special present aren't we? You are going to spread your pretty legs for both of us, and be a good little slut aren't you? You are going to open your mouth suck his cock and ride mine. Then he will take you from behind and you will take it all won't you?''

Beth sighed in defeat and nodded, ''now be a good little slut and strip."

Not long after Beth was naked, she was on her knees taking Liam's cock in her mouth. It lasted through the night both Nathan and Liam both having turns.

"Now son not so rough, we don't want her to have any injuries now do we? Only enough for satisfaction '' Nathan said turning his attention away from his son and back to Beth. Beth whimpered as Nathan entered her again thrusting into her slow and hard pace making Beth whimper again. Liam was sucking and playing with her breasts and then there was poor Beth wishing herself away.

They dropped her home after they had their turns and satisfaction with her at dawn, not before Nathan grabbed her arm . ''Rest up my sweet Beth, we do it all again tomorrow. I get both your pussy and ass to myself again and I won't be wasting that chance''.

A month later Beth was at the hospital feeling very ill. Beth insisted it was nothing it was just a virus or something but her mother insisted, she go and see a doctor Beth told her parents she wanted to go herself .

She felt like she had been punched hard in the stomach her, mouth was dry and her throat was raw. She was convinced there was nothing wrong she can't be, she couldn't be please no, what they would do if everyone found out? Including her parents? And all the questions about them who the father was? Beth heart sank.

She had to go anyway and they did tests a few days later her whole world stopped the words she was dreading to hear came.

'''Beth your are at least 3 weeks pregnant'' the doctor sighs and leaves the room after no reaction from Beth figuring she must be in shock the doctor went to get some water for her . Beth froze in the chair in the doctor's office, Beth sighed as stunned tears ran down Beth face her life was over. Seventeen and pregnant her life was a living hell , no way she could tell anyone one, biting her lip as more tears silently ran down her face. That was also the first night she stole a bottle of cheap alcohol.

xxxx present xxxx

Beth shook her head not wanting to remember any more. She silently wiped away her tears, setting her tea on the arm of the chair, Beth pulled her knees in close to her chest and wrapped her arms around them. Resting her chin on her knees, silently chastening and reassuring herself of her old promise to never fall in love again but then was there was Rick.

Something was drawing them together she felt safe with him. But if there was something there can she or will she trust him enough to let him in even if it was just as a friend? Or was there something more? It was question she would have to find out for herself before she could be sure and involve him or talk to him? But if talking to him is the way to find out can she or will she do it? There was only one way to find out.

xxxx

Rick was by the truck going through the search grids and plans for today's search with Daryl before everyone got there. They were planning to leave after lunch and do a search before sundown, but Rick was planning on staying today.

The news of his son recovering was spreading around the farm to everyone's relief. Carl has a few more days in bed before he was able to go outside, just had to take it easy. Rick was going to have a day with his son and maybe try and talk to Beth.

Daryl placed a hand on Rick's shoulder, '' I heard Carl is going is be up and around in a couple of days that's great man. Carl is strong a kid. ''

Rick sighed looked and looked at Daryl and nodded, "yes he is.''

Then Rick watched Daryl rub the back of his neck awkwardly, scuffing his boot . The hunter was no expert on the relationships but he could see something going on with Rick and Beth and Rick saw it too,

''Maybe it ain't my place but is there something going on with you and Beth?" There was an uncomfortable pause. "There is isn't there?''

It was Rick turn to shift as he rolled up the grids hesitating to answer the question, '' don't know maybe, I know there is something there… some feelings. I'm not...I'm not sure what I'm feeling for her. It might have something to do with knowing her from before and wanting to help her but I don't know...I need time to work it out...talk to her.''

Daryl nodded but didn't push it, waited then Rick spoke again.

'' I'm planning on staying back from the search today spend some time with Carl maybe talk to Beth.''

Rick watched the others start to approach to plan for the search then turned to Daryl,

'' I was hoping you could keep an eye on things for me? They know I want to stay behind for Carl, they don't need to know about Beth not yet, not until I work out a few things out first .''

Daryl watched them approach to go over the plan again. Daryl turned to Rick, '' sure whatever you need I won't say anything.''

Rick nodded and patted Daryl on the back in thanks and waited for the others to arrive.

xxxx

Meanwhile Lori and Carol were in the kitchen telling Maggie and Beth the plans, they wanted to make everyone dinner to thank them for what they have done the past few weeks with Carl . Beth and Maggie both Thought it was a good idea but convincing their father on the other hand was going to take work but they had

Patricia on aboard and if anyone could convince their father it was her.

Lori and Beth spoke away happily.

'' I heard Carl was going to be up and around in a few days, I'm glad. There is so much cruelty in this world, he is a very strong he takes after you and Rick. A lot like you some ways and like Rick in others''

Lori chopped up things for a salad for lunch, ''I would like to take credit for it but I think he is more like Rick in that sense, his strength is one, Rick never gives up, he is always finding another solution to problems. I think Carl is the same in that regard and their both so damn stubborn. Carl is more like his father in a lot of ways''

Beth smiles at Lori's comments but didn't say anything. It brought her thoughts back to Rick but quickly pushed them aside feeling slightly guilty. Lori was Rick's wife and nothing was going to change that fact even if there was something there. Beth knew she had to talk to Rick she knew that but how and when? Beth pushed the thoughts away for now.

Lori also mentioned that Rick was going to stay behind from the search today to spend time with Carl. It hit Beth like a ton of bricks Rick will be here all day? 'Will he try and talk to me?' She couldn't help but wander to herself. But tried not to react to the news too much not with Lori at least instead smiled she replied:

''I'm just glad everything worked out and he is okay," Beth responded receiving a smile from Lori. Beth and Lori kept on working.

There were glances at the two every now then then from Maggie and Carol but neither said anything they just kept working.

Beth and Lori seemed to like each other well enough, though Carol did have concerns she didn't voice them to Lori, not yet not until she was certain. If there was something to be worried about but she has seen the looks and concern Rick had for Beth, his charge in to danger for her, but it could be nothing right? Just rick wanting to help that's the kind of man he is, but then again the way he looked at her sometimes made her wander. But she will wait for now until she was sure.

xxxx

Later that day everyone gathered for lunch and Beth was nowhere to be seen. She had told her father she wasn't hungry. The truth was she wasn't quite ready to face Rick yet she needed to clear her head.

Beth sat under the shade of a big tree on the edge of the farm near the well where she fell in not two days ago. She needed time to think and clear her head. Beth was thinking on the past events and how she felt when Rick was around her. The days went by Beth healed, most of her injuries were fully healed though they did ache every now and then. Her shoulder and head still throbbed along with a little sore and so did her knee especially in the evening.

Focusing now on Rick, Beth needed to work out how she felt about him before she spoke to him. The thing was Rick made her feel things she hasn't felt in a long time, she felt safe and felt wanted. She felt warm when he held her, his soft touch, gentle words, his concern, generosity towards her. Beth doesn't even remember the last time she has felt that from anyone not even her own family. There was something familiar about the way he held her but she couldn't quiet place it.

Even if she did have feelings for Rick and wanted to be with him, and it wasn't in her head and he felt the same there was still the fact of age difference. She was 17 and he was in his mid -thirties and married with a son.

But Beth couldn't help but feel happy. When she thought of him and thinking he may feel the same way sent a shiver down her spine, but there was a lot of guilt as well, for Lori and Carl.

But if he did remember her, he listened to her and wasn't in her head? What if letting him in, letting him care for her, letting her self -care for rick would do good? Simply not being alone can heal her and help her move on, was it a risk she was willing to take? Even just as a friend and let the rest go?

Beth knew the answer deep down from the time she first saw Rick the answer: yes.

All Beth wanted to do now was talk to Rick, but it was getting late sitting under the tree awhile longer. Beth arrived home just before dark Maggie brought food to her room and Beth ate in silence missing the worried glance on Maggie face as she silently left the room.

Beth settled down with a book, the rest of it could wait until tomorrow.

xxxx

Rick sighed running his hand over his face, Rick knew Beth was avoiding him for the same reason he was avoiding Lori.

Unknowingly to both Beth and Rick the same thoughts were going through their minds, the feelings for the other, the way the other felt when they held them.

Rick remembering the way Beth held on to him and how soft her skin felt against his own. Beth was in his head the night, he heard her talking to Carl, he felt the drift between himself and Lori it hasn't been the same with Lori for a while now. They have their problems, it wasn't like when they first married, and it wasn't getting any better and he knew Lori knew it too, but they were trying to fix things for Carl.

It somehow was different with Beth. But the fact remained she was 17 and himself a mid- aged man with a wife and a son, but felt drawn to Beth. He knew things were going to change with her around and he wanted them to.

But he need to figure out how far his was willing to go when it came to Beth and if it wasn't his imagination and if Beth was the on the same page . The want to let him in to and help her start to heal, he wanted that for her ever since he first met her. He wanted her to let him in and a part of him knew Beth wanted to be apart of his life, the same part that knew from the first time he saw her, he wanted it too.

Settling into a chair next to his son, he will try and talk to Beth tomorrow.

A/N; so what do you think? Daryl and carol both noticing things are happening with Rick/Beth? Will one or both cause trouble with the information? How will it effect rick and Lori? will carol tell Lori? And what will happen when rick and Beth talk for the first time? Can rick get Beth to let him in? Stayed tuned to find out. Til then lovely readers, keep reading, reviews welcome. Deadlove ox.


	10. open your heart

A/N; hello again lovely readers, I'm on free time, so I'm going try write some chapters while I have the time to write before having a break near Christmas, hopefully to get this story half way through, and get beth/rick relationship going, like I know you all want to see. so bare with me, it is not an easy story to write, I love the whole Beth/rick relationship and hopefully you will too, though it won't all be smooth sailing. So here we go lovely readers hope you enjoy. reviews always welcome ox.

Your Love Echoes

Rating; M

Warnings: mild course language, mentions of past abuse, under age drinking, mentions of self harm.

My beta spitfire 47 is helping with editing of chapters

Chapter 10: open your heart.

Beth didn't sleep well that night her head throbbed, as well as her knee and shoulder ached. Early light of dawn shining through her window , memories returned that she didn't want to remember. The bottle of alcohol in her hands, her hands shaking, her lips licked her lips and cradled the bottle like an old friend, just a little won't hurt. Bringing it up to her lips Beth closed her eyes.

xxxx

After having something light to eat, Beth started on some light chores around the farm. Rick walked pass the chickens coop and sees Beth struggling, with bag the made his way over to her, he could see she was shaken up from yesterday Beth was visibly shaking then without warning gasped as she fell to the ground.

There was a hand on her shoulder, Beth jolted at the gentle touch, but turned to see Rick. She smiled gratefully as Rick took hold of the bag and helped her with the amount for the chickens. It was not long later she started throwing the feed and the chicken's gathered around her feet that she noticed Rick was watching her.

''What is it? Why are you looking at me like that?''

Rick smiled gently, ''nothing just wandering how you are holding up? I realised I didn't ask. ''

Beth stopped for a minute again seeing the gentleness and genuine concern for her Beth sighed. ''I'm okay, still a little sore at times but I'm getting better.I never thanked you for helping me, not just for at the well … ''

Rick watched Beth, Rick knew she wasn't just talking about the well or happened at the pharmacy. She seemed comfortable around him and he admitted he liked being around her, biting his lip a little watching the chickens and chicks at Beth feet.

''Of course,'' Rick muttered.

Beth finished up with the feeding and needed to check the generator Beth hesitated for a moment, ''would you help me with the generator? It just needs checking and the others are at the fences.''

Rick nodded letting Beth lead the way he walked with her to the generator. They worked silently Rick handing her tools and the oil, and helping her when needed.

They walked back in a comfortable was with Rick, this was here chance but it wasn't easy as she thought. Beth opened her mouth only to have nothing came out and she quickly closed it again. If Rick noticed he didn't say anything, but it made Beth question, if she ever could trust him. Her feelings were one thing, but she didn't know the feeling of love or falling in love, she never felt it with anyone. But no matter how she felt lover or friend if there was no trust... it would never work would it? How could she open up to him, when she didn't know how she felt or if she could trust him?

Not looking where she was going she tripped, not long after not looking up but she felt, Rick catch her, as the heat of the blush flowed over her face and ears, she hid her face not looking that Rick, not long later Beth noticed now close she was to him, and she was gripping his shirt. Blushing deeper Beth let go backing away, '' sorry…'' Still not looking at Rick she whispered, ''thank you.''

What Rick said next stunned Beth '' I remember you Beth. It took me a while but I realised it was you that day at the hospital. I remember hoping if you were ok, I remember your strength. If you want to talk, at any time, or need help with anything you can come to me. If it is for a friendly ear, or as a friend, I'm here just take your time. I not one to judge, you're not alone Beth.''

Beth looked at Rick and saw it again the concern, the kindness, the desire to help. It wasn't what Beth was used to with Liam and Nathan it was all about the pain and satisfaction. Beth noticed even though she backed away she was still close to Rick.

She placed her hand on Rick's chest, '' thank you…'' Beth whispered again.

Rick nods in return as in understanding, but not before Beth removes her hand looking towards the chicken coop then the house. She pushed away the knots in her stomach, '' I guess I need to get eggs, for dad's breakfast tomorrow then head back. I really shouldn't be out here, but I was sick of being in bed and being fussed over. Want to walk back with me?'' Rick smiled and the two walked back towards the house.

Beth wondered will she ever take Rick up on his offer? But guilt suddenly filled her when she remembered Rick was married and had a son and that was a fact that that was never going to change whether she trusted him or not.

xxxx

Shane was looking for Rick to go over the grid. Some of the flags crossed in the another groups area, rick had one of those flags, not only that he was relying on Daryl more and not him and it didn't sit well with him Rick disappeared from the search more than once it had to be for Carl, Shane got that he did, but Rick had his mind on other things as well he was reckless and it put not only Lori and Carl in danger but the whole group but they all followed rick's lead for now.

Shane felt he should be in charge at least to try and get back some of their weapons. The only problem was the old man seemed to pay more attention to Rick also. But that would soon change he was sure of it. Not just with the old man, but he would have Lori and Carl on and by his side as well if he could time it just right things will go just as he planned.

Shane reached where Glenn was getting ready for the search. Andrea was on Dale's van watching for walkers.

'' Hey have you guys seen Rick I need talk to him.''

Glenn was checking his knife and gun, ''last time I saw Rick he was helping Beth heading towards generator shed''.

Shane head in the direction where Glenn said they were going to be but he only saw the last of it. Beth and Rick were close. Rick held Beth, Beth had her hand resting on Rick's chest not long later noticing and moving it away. Shane shook his head, it could have been nothing. Rick could have been seeing if she was ok. She could (haven fallen and he could just be helping her, it didn't really matter to him, but the way he looked at her did made him wander. But Shane shook his head paying no more attention to them, Shane started to walk away he had better things to do with his time.

xxxx

Glenn had things on his mind too, since he and Maggie went to the pharmacy to get some first aid supplies. When Beth and Carl got hurt they were running out of supplies so the two volunteered to go get some. He might as well admit they slept together, he had the best time and enjoy it and he could tell she did too, but back at the farm she went back to pretending he was invisible like nothing happened.

Beth was in the kitchen when Glenn appeared at the door, he knocked and Beth appeared.

''If you're looking for Maggie she not here. Maggie is helping dad with patching of fences''.

Beth studied Glenn little, ''are you okay?''.

Glenn sighed, ''no, not really.''

Beth opened the door, '' come on in.''

Glenn entered taking a seat and Beth took a seat at the sat in front of Glenn but a little away from him

''You want to know if Maggie likes you?" Beth asked. Glenn looked slightly surprised that the young woman realized his predicament right away.

'She does, but you have to understand, dad is very protective and kept us sheltered . Family is important and is everything to him and we are a very religious family .

Our father has strong beliefs, Maggie likes you Glenn she has told me, but you need to give it time, to give Maggie and dad time. He doesn't adjust well to changes. She will come to you when she is ready. ''

Suddenly the door opened and Maggie, Hershel and Patrica entered.

''What is this Beth?''

Beth stood and moved towards her father she looked at Glenn who ready to raise and leave but Beth stopped him.

''Its' okay dad, I'm fine now. But I was feeling a little faint earlier and Glenn was kind enough to help back to the house. I was just getting him a cool drink to say thank you.''

Hershel studied his daughter for a moment, then his face softened, '' Are you sure you're okay?

Beth nodded then Hershel looked at Glenn,'' thank you for helping Beth.''

Glenn smiled. ''It was no problem really, I was just passing when I saw Beth was struggling with the eggs and I thought I would help her out.''

The eggs in the kitchen were from Rick helping her earlier but her father didn't need to know that.

Glenn smiled and nodded his thanks to Beth. ''I should be going anyway, they're heading out for another search for Sophia today. Now that Rick is strong enough he is going to come too, for a couple of hours as well, we should leave soon if we are going to get some time in before night fall. ''

Glenn nodded to Beth, Hershel and finally Maggie before leaving the house.

xxxx

Rick questioned himself again about Beth, should he be falling for her? Should he have these feelings for her? He knew she had been through a lot, and he thought she had been through some sort of abuse, physical? There was more to the story that much he did know and she felt so isolated. but she was caring, so gentle and so kind, a loving person, who doesn't remember any happy memories before the abuse. There was so much hurt and mistrust but he saw the real Beth the strength in her and in a way there was still some innocence.

Rick knew he was attracted to her, he had feelings for her, he knew that, but guilt also came over him. He shouldn't be doing this he shouldn't be having these feelings for her. He was a middle aged man, and she was 17, and he wasn't sure if Beth showed any interest in him, it may have been his imagination . The way she held on to him, and the looks she gave, the soft smiles.

Then his thoughts turned to Lori and Carl, he had his family to think about, though he and Lori had their problems . It isn't like when they first were first married, Lori was still the mother of his son he still loved her but his love for her has changed more as a best friend than a lover . He hated to admit it but it was true, it wasn't like it was, and the fact that they had been married for almost 14 years had made it harder to admit to himself that they would never have the same relationship they once had. And Carl he couldn't leave out how it would affect his son.

Then this girl come along and blows him and his feelings out of the water . Making him feel things again he didn't think possible, for this sweet, gentle, incredible girl or should he say young woman could make him feel like this.

But then the way Beth reacted earlier today came back to him .It was as if she was stunned, questioning herself if she could trust him not that he blamed her. After what she has been through not that he knew what it was like for her but he would wait if she would come to him. Sighing, Rick ran a his hand over his face he silently chastised himself, before he had decided if he wanted Beth in his life. He knew that much, to know her, to see if she feels the same way, or to see if it is just his imagination. But even if it was, he did want to help Beth any way he could. After all the family had done for Carl and his family that was the least he could do . He did have feelings for Beth and wanted to see how far they went . He wasn't ready to let go of Beth and the possibilities just yet.

Rick also knew he needed to talk to Lori and put things out there things he knows they have both been avoiding since he came back. He was just was looking for the right time. But then again when was it the right time with everything they had been and are still going through.

With that thought Rick made his way back to the house to check on Carl.

xxxx

Maggie found Beth out on the porch. Maggie hesitated a little, '' Glenn didn't help you did he? And you didn't feel faint? Do you?''

Beth smiled but didn't look up from the booked, Maggie watched the camp site for a few moments watching the group get ready to go out for the search.

''Thank you, for what you said to Glenn.'' Maggie moved over kissing her sister on the head before sitting in the chair next to her.

''Beth have you been sleeping ? You look tired,'' Beth shook her head but avoided her sister's eyes. ''No not really, but it not just that, I remember the walkers as well...I guess I'm having another bad day but I'm sort of numb to ? I meant what I said to Glenn, if he cares about you like I know he does he will wait.''

Maggie smirked and nudged Beth with her shoulder, '' do you mean about me and Glenn or someone else? ''

The funny thing was Maggie thought Beth liked Jimmy, though Maggie knew or thought she wouldn't be ready for a relationship yet. Maggie thought it was Jimmy and Beth played along for now ducking her head hiding her face.

''Shut up,'' making Maggie laugh, but Beth also knew Maggie will find out the truth sooner or later.

xxxx

Rick left with the group taking, Glenn, T-Dog, Daryl, Carol and stayed behind so did Dale, staying by his van, and Lori of course with Carl.

leaving Beth with her thoughts. What rick said true? Could he be lying? Beth instincts told her no. She did want to let him in, talk to him and trust him, but where to start? The abuse or the rapes? The suicide attempt? The drinking or the cutting or the shoplifting? Or favours for alcohol the pre... no she couldn't go there she just couldn't... there were so many things she wasn't proud of...regretted, and lost, felt guilty a shamed for.

Beth saw Shane and Lori earlier, it looked like they were fighting or in an had her back to Shane with her arms crossed and kept on trying to leave only to be pulled back by Shane. She didn't hear exactly what was said, but Rick was mentioned, but she wasn't the one to eavesdrop so she moved on leaving them two alone.

It made her think about Rick and herself, but not only that also how it would affect those around them. Carl and Lori how will it affect them? Beth sighed as she couldn't help but guilt filled her heart, could she really do it? Let him in? Was she ready? And what it meant for Carl and Lori? She shouldn't be doing this, to feel like this for Rick, he was off limits, he was in his mid 30's at most and he had a wife and son.

Beth didn't even know if he was interested in her that showed no interest and why should he? Sure he showed concern, but it was more of him helping her and being kind to her. He was a deputy sheriff it was part of his job, but Rick wasn't a deputy sheriff any more he had no job that was in the past and what stunned -stumped beth the most is that he still acted one she wanted him -no needed him not to act like one because he didn't need to anymore she need him, to show her the real Rick grimes but she couldn't help how she felt and it was all new to her . The way she felt, how it felt, after all she had been through. All Beth knew was she wasn't ready to let go of the idea of them, to let go of the possibility yet.

xxxx

Later Beth was asked to check in on Carl and take in something to eat for him. Carl was sitting up in bed playing with the rim of his hat Rick gave him.

''Hey Carl, your mum had to step out for a minute, and your dad is looking for Sophia they both should be back soon, your mum asked me to check on you, how you feeling? Are you hungry?'' Carl simply shook his head, but looked up at Beth.

''You were in the room a few nights ago weren't you? Is it true what you said my dad? What you said about you?'' Beth smiled a little becoming a tad hesitant, shy and concerned about what would happen next but nodded.

''Yes, I did.''

Carl went silent again, a thoughtful look on his face, then his face softened. ''I don't hate my dad, and I know this is no one's fault it was an accident, I wouldn't wish this on anyone. I just... Sophia is my friend, and I should be looking for her . My dad feels responsible, dad went after the walkers that were chasing her and when he came back she was gone''

Beth sat next to Carl in the chair next to his bed. Beth listened as Carl spoke about his dad and Sophia, Carl felt responsible for Sophia because he didn't do more to help her. Beth reassured Carl the best she could, after all no knew what might've happened. Carl again asked when his parents would back, Beth only answered they should be back soon she didn't know herself.

Then Carl asked Beth something that caught her completely off guard.

'' Beth? Is there something going on with you and my dad?''.

A/N; sorry lovely readers some ideas come to my head, and stopped Beth and rick for now but I promise you their first kiss will be worth it and so on, but also what do you think? How will or can Beth answer, or will rick come to check on his son before she can answer? will Beth keep shutting rick out or will she start opening up to him, finally? And what was Shane and Lori fighting about? Stayed turned to find out. Until next time ox.


	11. if anyone is there is it you?

Your love echoes

Rating M

warning; course language, mentions and memory of self harm and alcohol abuse.

My beta spitefire47 is helping with editing of chapters.

chapter 11; if anyone is there, is it you?.

Beth was trying to think how to answer Carl, it wasn't a question she expected well not from Carl at least . For a 12 year old he was very observant with things around him and his parents. The guilt hit Beth full force, how will it affect him and at what cost, and Rick was with Lori.

She needed more time she didn't want to say out loud or wasn't ready to admit to herself she was falling for was like someone grabs her heart and squeezes it every time she sees him or hears him her heart melts. She didn't know for Beth has never had or felt like this around anyone, then here is Carl asking her the question she has asked herself time and again.

Just then Rick came into the room rubbing his hand over his face he sees Beth and sitting in the chair by Carl's bed Rick couldn't help but notice that was where they were not 5 nights ago. Carl looked curious and a little irritated, Beth looked taken back and was struggling, she couldn't look at Rick, she heard him enter but couldn't look at him, she was afraid just how hard it was to be around him, he would notice her breath hitching everytime he entered the room, her stomach in knots, she struggling to act normal when all she wanted was to be touched by him again. Beth wasn't ready for the questions Carl had asked, Rick could see she was completely caught of guard, he knew Carl would ask especially what his son would ask Carl was very aware and alert to things around him, smart too, it wouldn't take long for him to figure things out especially if Carl had been listening to Beth instead of sleeping.

Rick sighed he knew Carl would do this. Rick would have to talk to Carl, before they could answer anything. He and Beth had to talk about things and work them out for themselves and he needed to talk to Lori . Both things needed to be the right timing so for now Rick decided to change the subject to Lori.

''Hey, Beth where's Lori?'' said as he entered the room. Beth was grateful to Rick and for the change of subject . Now she wasn't ready to go there, not yet and not with Carl.

''Lori stepped out, she said would be back soon, but she didn't mention where she was going, did you find anything on Sophia yet?'' Beth answered ignoring the feelings around Rick and pushing them down.

Rick sighed shaking her head. "No not yet, Daryl got into some trouble, his okay, just a little banged up your dad is treating him now. But he found Sophia's doll near the creek, so that's something. We are gonna go back out tomorrow start a search near where Daryl found Sophia's doll,'' said Rick.

Beth was relieved to hear Daryl was okay, she also saw the way Rick was looking at his son, Carl had his head bowed not looking at him, Beth took that as a signal to leave, that Rick needed to talk to his son.

''I better be going, dad eats around time so I should go. I'm glad Daryl's okay.'' Beth said as she started to stand with a nod from Rick Beth left closing the door quietly behind her.

xxxx

Meanwhile Lori was cornered again by Shane and it was going on her last nerve

When will Shane except they were over? Lori knew things were never going to be the same with Rick . They had their problems, but they were trying for Carl and themselves. But she also knew it will never be the same and they would have to talk eventually . Having avoid the subject since Rick came back hit hard but the reality of Lori not feeling the same for him after almost 14 years of marriage broke her heart the fact that they will never be the same. She felt guilt and hated herself for letting things get out of hand with Shane, she wanted to feel something, anything, she had thought Rick was dead.

She has regretted it ever since, but now Rick was here alive, was here with them. She knew they would have to talk about things eventually he was just waiting for the right time even though they have tried since he had come back. Something was missing and they never got it back was it the passion? Or was it their love that changed? Making it a different kind of love? Then there was Shane it was the same

thing every time, she saw him Shane claimed he loved her and Carl. That he was… well is basically better than Rick at everything. Every time they fought it was about the same thing he could be a better father to Carl, love them and protect better. He could keep them safe if they would leave with him, leave Rick behind.

He was adamant that they belonged together but for Lori it was different she didn't think they did and Shane needed to accept that. She didn't see it happening with Shane, Lori knew one thing, no matter what happens between her and Rick. Lori would never take Carl away from him or keep Carl away from Rick, he was his father and Carl needed him and Lori was going to make sure it stayed that way.

'' I may not agree with all Rick's decisions, but I respect them, and you tearing him down on every decision he makes is not helping. We are over Shane. Rick is here alive, he is my husband I'm sorry but nothing is going to change that,'' Lori explained as she moved away from Shane. He lean in further into her personal space closing the gap.

'However long that lasts' Lori couldn't help think to herself before she continued. ''He is back and alive, we are working things out, Carl is his son, our son not yours. You are not going to blame Rick every time something doesn't go your way.'' Lori said only to push against the wall by Shane.

Shane held her to the wall, '' you don't really believe we had was real Lori. You know I'm right, that kid is dead and we are not going to find her. We may as well accept it and move on it would be a lot easier. I love you and Carl everything I have done is and was to protect you.'' Shane said as Lori pushed Shane away.

'' Even if it means the cost of someone's life? Things will never be the way they were, we will never be Shane, Rick is Carl's father, he is what Carl needs and nothing is going to change that. I don't know what will happen between me and Rick, but I do know I don't belong with you and another thing we are not calling of the search for Sophia. We will find her with or without your help'' Lori finished.

With that Lori turned her back on Shane and walked away she needed to check on Carl . With him it's his recent mood he won't even eat the food Lori sent in with Beth.

'' If you believe that your just as blind as he is. We belong together Lori you will see,'' Shane growled as he retreating back. If Lori heard it she did her best to block it out and continued her way to where Carl was.

Shane stood there looked into the dark, he will make them see, he will make them both see . He just needed more time to set his plan in motion, by the end game, he would have Lori and Carl at his side and rick would be dealt with. The group could survive on their own as long as he had Lori and Carl and Rick out of the picture. With that still playing in his mind, smiling to himself he walk back to camp but he can wait for now, everything is and will go to plan he will make sure of it.

What he didn't count on was Beth in the background, waiting to change everything for all of them.

xxxx

Beth had nothing to do but to be left with her own thoughts later that evening . Everyone turned in for the night, Rick and Lori took the spare room next to Carl's. Beth didn't want to dwell on the fact Rick was in the house just down those stairs, her heart beating a mile an hour, all the buckled knees, her stomach in knots every time she is near him and the melting around him. The safety, warm and soft touches, if she didn't know any better someone would take her for a love sick high school girl who had a crush on a teacher, or a parent of another student. Chuckling at what chaos a rumour like that would cause, but it felt nice she welcomed the feelings, never feeling anything like this for someone before.

All the feelings she felt was fear, hurt, pain, regret, anger, shame and guilt but never love or passion. Soft touches, romance, was it desire she felt as well? She never had been kissed, really kissed or had the safety or trust. Is this what love-falling in love felt like? Was she falling love with a man she hardly knew? but he had been there her three times in her life when she felt hopeless, helped her, brought her back, was shot and was - is still here. He found his way to their farm of all places, he gave her hope that world wasn't all chaos and cruelty in this new world but good people stuck in it as well.

Getting ready for bed, putting on her long selves nightie, and taking off her bandannas that were on her wrists, the thin scars up her arms. She had comfort in cutting for a while before she found drinking, Beth hardly remembers having a razor to her arm or legs any more, or the last time she pick a razor up.

There were also cigarette burns almost weaving through her thin scars and a scar on her other arm deeper and longer than the rest . Most of the cutting and burning was done by Liam.

Beth had a very hard time gaining back control of her life, and found she was almost addicted to cutting. She tried it on the top of her legs for a while, remembering the warmth of her blood running freely down her leg before checking it, and cleaning it and putting on dressings. Beth would sneak out of the house when the rest were sleeping and burn the bloody cloths.

The medium thin scars cross her legs were hidden by her jeans, than she found control and numbness in the alcohol.

Getting guys off or doing their assignments and tests for them to get a bottle of gin in return. That was what she thought she deserved, she had no other way out of it and after Ryan... no she couldn't think on him just yet it hurt too much. When it happened Beth life felt more out of control, but she will have to deal with it, remember it, remember him.

But Beth couldn't do it just yet she just can't, but Rick he been there very time. Maybe she can open up a little, talk and tell him little things, and go from there. All Beth knew was she wasn't ready to let Rick go, and owed to herself if it was what she thought she wanted, Rick to be part of her life whether it was as a friend or more, but she would keep her distance for now. She knew Rick still had to talk to Lori, and figure things out, but talking she could do, she meant what she said to Rick. Promising herself tomorrow she would to talk to him with that she settled down to sleep.

xxxx

Rick sighed as Lori got in to obviously had things on her mind, she turned to Rick, ''what did you and Carl talk about to today?"

"Carl was upset and shut down when I tried to talk to him,'' Rick sighed, turned (on his side to face Lori.

''I caught out Carl asking Beth personal questions, about her wrists other day and other things. I pulled him up on it, that and I think Carl is still angry I couldn't help Sophia he blames me that she is missing. He wants to go on the search tomorrow ." Lori sat up alarmed, Rick raised his hand stopping Lori, ''told him no, he may be healing, but not enough for that.'' Rick said.

Lori seemed to relax a little after that, but Rick had his mind on other things like the fact he heard Carl ask Beth if there was something between them. He will try to talk to Beth, but Rick was careful about what to say to Lori he will talk to her, but with Carl being shot and Sophia missing it wasn't the right time, but then again was there ever? Then Lori again pulled Rick out of his thoughts

''Daryl seems okay, are you going out again tomorrow to where Daryl found the doll?" Lori asked, Rick nodded, that was all Lori needed, to know Rick was determined. it has been almost a week since Sophia's disappearance and the doll was the first bit of evidence of where Sophia has been, since she went missing. With Carl shot, Daryl and T-Dog hurt, with the deaths and losses of people they thought of as friends and cared for, with exception of Ed of course the bastard. They had lost so much, Rick needed the hope; the doll gave him that.

Rick relaxed into the bed sighing, '' yeah but not until later, even if Carl is a little pissed at me I want to be there tomorrow. Maybe we can find something around the farm for Carl to do, I'll talk to Hershel,'' said Rick . With that he kissed Lori goodnight and settled in for the night. Rick was thinking of something else he was going to do tomorrow.

xxxx

Meanwhile no one saw Beth leave the house or see her head into the woods. Beth woke up in the woods with no memory how she got there, the little stream, with the grave marker in front her, putting her hand against the marker, '' rest in peace little angel'' then the name and date ''14/03/2011''. The memory alone of what it was, who it was to Beth, it didn't long for her to break down into tears rubbing the marker resting her head against it.

Just before dawn, not knowing how long she had been there. Beth heard the moans grabbing what look like a sharp stick. Beth ran for a cover in a shelter not far from the stream. That was her dark room for her , pictures, her and her mum and a few photos of woods, animals around the woods and farm and where her mum made her sun catchers.

Beth ran in closing the door behind her. 'Shit how many times is enough, and how did I get here? Did I sleep walk? I haven't done that in a long time why now? What I am I going to do now?' She thought to herself, then the banging started, maybe she could just wait it out, this was not the way Beth wanted to start her morning, damn.

xxxx

It was late in the morning, when Beth returned. Rick the group, Hershel and Maggie were all discussing and some arguing on how to go about finding Beth.

Not long after Beth appeared wet, shivering and cover in blood, with the bloody stick still in her hand. The last thing Beth saw people was rushing towards her not being able to make out who there searched for and saw Rick, before everything went black.

A/N; what do you think Beth is hiding, who is the grave marker for, what caused Beth to break down? Will Beth finally let rick in just a little? Stay tuned to find out. Till next time lovely readers, reviews welcome ox


	12. do you see me?

Your love echoes

Rated M

Warnings; course language, mentions of past violence, past abuse and flash backs mentions of under -age drinking.

My beta Spitfire47 is helping with editing of chapters.

Chapter 12; do you see me?

After Hershel and Maggie got Beth back into the house Maggie asked Patricia to help with Beth taking her to her room. They helped Beth undress, Patricia was not the one to pry or ask questions about her past or scars, which is why Maggie ask her to help. Their dad would have busted in and demanded answers with out of her, her scars didn't shock or became a surprise to Maggie, gently washing the dirt away with a cloth.

Checking her for any injuries, there seemed to be none except some small cuts to her hands, from what Maggie would have guessed what was from the stick she held in her hand or maybe from stabbing walkers? With some force would have caused the cutting to Beth's hands Maggie carefully pulled out the splinters from Beth's hands and dressed and bandaged the worst of her cuts. It had to be walkers because the cuts on her hands didn't cause that much bleeding.

Beth shut down every time Maggie asked what happened, and wouldn't talk. Just kept on saying she can't remember how she got there, or anything else, Maggie stopped pushing Beth hoping she would open up to her but it didn't happen that way. After a little while Beth slept, Maggie sighing and left the room.

xxxx

Patricia had left the room after helping Maggie with Beth after she left the two sisters alone, and was waiting with Hershel . What Maggie didn't expect was Rick and the group to be there as well. Hershel rose as to see Beth for his self and Maggie stopped him.

''Dad, no not now, it wasn't her blood. Beth is ok she had some small cuts on her hands, but apart from that she's fine. She exhausted, she is sleeping right now.''

Maggie didn't take her eyes off her father . He looked like he would burst into Beth room moment and demanded answers. He missing the concern look on rick's face, his need to know she ok, Lori watching her husband in a curiously as if she to work out what he was thinking, starting see something there but wasn't sure and scoffs from Shane.

Hershel tried again and Maggie stopped him. ''Let her sleep, you won't get anything from her, not tonight at least, she is saying she can't remember. Don't push her dad. Remember what happened with Jimmy's friend Lucas?"

Hershel sighed still wanted to hit that kid at the memory of him and what he tried to do with his Beth. Maggie saw the look of the memory forgetting the group still there. She moved forward trying to calm her father, taking her father's hands in hers.

''Dad you can't always protect Beth, she is strong, and maybe as stubborn minded as you . But you know she doesn't like talking about her feelings.''

Looking pointedly at her father as if to make a point before continuing.

''But if anyone can pull through and see the light out of darkness it's Beth... she will open up and tell us when she is ready. We have to patient with her dad you know that.'' Hershel sighes, maggie held her ground holding her fathes hand in hers.

''Your right as always, I just wish Beth would open up to us more. She's been through a lot in the last 3 years I wish she would just talk to us, realise she doesn't have protect us from her memories, and past. I know there more to it more she is not telling us.'' Hershel pressed his palm to his eldest daughter check

Maggie bit her lip she never knew how much it affected her father. How Beth opened up to her, telling little things about Liam and not telling their father anything.

Before Maggie could reply to her father they had been pulled out of it by the group. Or mostly by Shane scoffing at Hershel and Maggie's father and daughter moment.

''So we dealing with more walkers or what? I haven't got all day, and we have better things to do like do another pointless search for Sophia who's probably already dead. I'm sorry Carol, I'm not the only one thinking, I'm just the only one saying it.''

Carol went for Shane only to be held back by Daryl, before Lori moving forward and gently guided an upset Carol towards door with help from Daryl but not before she turned to Shane

''Do you ever get sick of being an intensive ass hole?'' Then led an upset Carol out of the house followed by Daryl.

Not long after Lori, Carol and Daryl left the house, Hershel asked Shane to Leave.

xxxx

Beth moved away for the door, again felt grateful again to Maggie. Chuckling at the comment about her being as stubborn as her father, in a lot of ways she was. Though Beth wasn't the one for eavesdropping sometimes the house was not only old but it sometimes had a weird way of carrying raised voices and noises through the house.

Looking at the bottle, Beth had on her side table, the bitter taste still on her lips.

Was it really Liam she killed? It didn't seem real. It was a walker but it looked so much like Liam. Beth was already trying to recover from the grave marker, the reality of it she had been holding to it... to him, for so long, 6 months of loss, still so fresh in her memory, the loss, and he was so little.

xxxx flash back xxx

Then the walker who looked exactly like Liam smashed through the window like it was nothing. A place of her mothers, and her shelter was the only place she felt safe and the only place Beth could remember her mother. Looking down at her shaking hands with tears in her eyes why? Why was she acting like this? The ass hole put her through 2 years of hell. Beth couldn't stop shaking or the tears.

The walker...Liam came through the window and attacked her pushing her hard against the wall before pushing Beth backwards, Beth creaking her head against the edge of the book case, Beth fought back using the only thing she could think of, pushing it of her, pushing her hand and jamming her fingers into Liam 's throat. Jeez he was dead it had no effect on him.

Beth managing to push him back just enough so when Liam tried to attack her again, Beth took the sharp stick and rammed it into Liam's head with both hands. Pain went through her as she felt the wood cut into her palms. Before she could run it though his head, she stabbed it through his chest 5 times - in the chest too? It became all a blur, seeing it, him, all pain, hurt, anger all came back at once. Beth yelled and screamed at him, hitting him over and over.

xxxx present xxxx

Letting out a sob, Beth fell against the wall, sliding down . The grave, her little angel, tripping over and over in the creek, running, the cold, Liam and her confusing feelings she was developing for Rick it became too much for her. Her chest, tightening hugging her knees, her quiet sobs travel down the stairs.

xxxx

Downstairs Rick and Hershel were talking about Carl's health, Hershel was grateful for the momentary change of subject . He knew his Bethany would come to him when she was ready but he hated waiting. Waiting was the worst part but he also knew if he pushed Beth she would shut down completely.

''He is hell bent on going on the search tomorrow, he is scaring Lori,'' Rick said as they sat down together.

''Have you got anything, any light work you could give him? Take his mind off things? It would put Lori's mind at ease, knowing his not in any danger. He may also think he is healed but it takes longer he thinks.''

Rick rubbed his own side remembering himself, in the same position, not 2 months ago. It took a while after his coma to get back fully on his feet and knew the risk his son had of injuring himself again.

Hershel was about to answer, but both suddenly stopped when Beth sobs came down the stairs.

Rick closed his eyes, his breath hitched. He admitted if only to his self, he ached to be near her, hold her, to help her. But he made a promise and he was going to keep it, waiting for Beth to come to him.

About half an hour later the crying stopped and the house went quiet again.

xxxx

Beth rose late the next morning, surprisingly her father and sister let her sleep as long as she did. They didn't wake her sooner. When Beth did come around, she looked at the clock, it was past 10 am in the morning. Beth tried to sit up only to slowly lie back down, her head throbbed, and a strong feeling of sickness came over her. Beth groaned her throat was sore and her lips dry. She was more exhausted than she thought letting out a whimper at the memory of yesterday's events, some more tears escaped as she rolled over trying to hid face from the light and sooth her head with a pillow she wasn't ready to face any anyone not just yet.

xxxx

The tension between Hershel and Maggie in the morning was felt in the Greene household. Hershel and Maggie avoided the subject of Beth. The eldest sister felt if they approached the subject Hershel would storm in there and demand that Beth tell them what happened, bring up painful memories and will cause Beth to shut down.

Beth told Maggie little things of Liam how they met, and a little about the abuse, but still stayed tight lipped around her father. Damn her father was so stubborn, but his over protectiveness does more harm than good. But he was trying, he was, but he was also running out of patience. Maggie played a buffer between her father and sister so her sister felt safe and also feeling protective of Beth.

It also made her feel torn her between her father and sister, because even though Maggie understands Beth's hesitation, to tell her father, when it seemed there was a lot more than what she is telling her. Maggie also feels their father as a right to know what's going on with his daughters though it may not take the pain away. Maybe with time they can help Beth slowly heal and maybe have some closer little steps right?

Maggie heart also ached and broke for sister, with what Beth already told her she saw the pain and heartbreak in Beth eyes. The plea not to tell their father and she didn't want to betray that trust, she will wait and they we go to their father together, when Beth was ready. Maggie owed her sister that much and promised her, she would be there for her when her sister finally told their father, in Beth's own time.

The echoes of Beth crying last night still broke her heart.

Little did Maggie know the kindness of one person will change everything.

xxxx

Lori and Rick were with Carl while Hershel was doing a final check over before letting Carl out of bed.

''Carl is healing well, his wound is closing, his pulse, breathing and blood pressure is normal, he seems in perfect health,'' Hershel said as he turned to Rick and Lori

''But I do want Carl to take it easy for a while, maybe a week or two give the wound the time to close fully and heal.'' Then Hershel turned his attention to Carl

''You may find yourself getting tired easily, and aching, that's normal, but no doing anything that will risk tearing your wound open again. If your feel any pain or feeling dizzy you need to either tell parents or myself. '' Carl looked between Hershel and his parents hesitated if just for a moment then nodded.

''Your welcome to come and rest here other than that your free to move around,'' Hershel concluded.

As Hershel was leaving he turned to the family. '' If you want to help around the farm, there are some light chores you can do if you're interested? Feeding the chickens and collecting eggs a few other things, Beth isn't feeling her best at the moment… so if you want to help, Maggie can show you.''

With that said Hershel left the room.

xxxx

While Hershel was talking, Rick found himself else where all he could picture was Beth. The want to know if she was all right, it took all his will not to go charging in to her room father present or not and just hold her . Her crying still echoing in his head, he could still hear the pain. He wants to kiss all her pain way, he froze if not for a moment – did he really wanted that? The answer was yes he did. He wanted that, he wanted to be there for her friend and or a lover. To be everything for her, to show her she can be loved, that it is possible. That he could teach her, he can be the one to love her, to teach her how to love again, no matter how bad it had gotten.

The guilt was still there however. He still wandered how it would affect Lori and Carl, and there were things he and Lori needed to talk about before he could go there with Beth. The questions of if he should or shouldn't, the age difference, it was all still there but when he thought of Beth none of that seem to matter anymore. All Rick wanted to know was how Beth felt about him, how she felt - that was all he wanted to know. All that mattered now, and if it was want she wanted. He would be anything and everything for her.

If not he would still help as a friend and willing to let the rest go he felt he owed her that much. It may not change the past but he wanted to show her she wasn't alone, someone did care and maybe in time it would help her slowly heal and move forward.

xxxx

Unknowingly to both, Beth was having the same thoughts about Rick, after the events yesterday she couldn't stop thinking about Rick the possibilities. Beth needed something to hold on to and for her it was Rick. All Beth wanted to know was how Rick felt about her, Beth needed some hope that there was a possibility. Someone like Rick felt the same, the guilt the age difference. It wasn't just Lori and Carl she had guilt for or the effect on or the cost for them, but her father and sister's reaction and how it will affect them as well? Will they think Rick is taking advantage of her because of the age difference? Will it affect how they think and react to him?

It felt more out of reach now, she felt she may have read a little too much into things with his concern, and his touches. Beth could be making a fool of herself, but she did actually think of being with someone like Rick maybe one day. Someone with experience, who knew their way around a woman's body, who was loving, and kind, what real kisses felt like, slow passionate and loving kisses. Beth blushed a little at the thought, Beth had never really had a real kiss with someone, or really knew what it was like to make love to someone, or to be loved by someone that way.

With Nathan and Liam there wasn't love or passionate, they just wanted her body. That was what she was to them. Their daily satisfaction, a slut, a whore, and Beth had being with them so long she started to believe that was all she was. Beth has never felt or experienced love or knows what love or passion or any of those things feels like, any more, nor remember it not even from her own family.

She needed to know Rick, to know how he felt, that she wasn't alone. Then Beth realised she was open to both possibilities, lover or friend. The feelings she felt for him…even though she isn't sure what they are yet, but had a feeling that was not going to go away soon. But just being with Rick, maybe was all Beth needed to heal slowly and maybe in time let go and move on. Both possibilities of Rick as a lover or friend were welcoming and finally letting go of the past and move on sent shivers down her spine.

Then a soft smile came to her lips, she may have thought of a way to slowly let Rick in, talk to him. To finally see if felt the same way and see if she could trust him all in one game she use to play with Shawn and Maggie when she was younger. Starting with little things off the topic of what you want to talk about, eventually it comes in full circle, that was how Shawn and Maggie got things out of her and caught in the act.

The one thing Beth use to hate may be the only way to connect with someone she admitted to herself she wanted to connect to.

xxxx

Later that day Beth was on her way to her favourite tree to read for the day. But she also had something else in mind - to let know Rick she want to talk to him with none of the others around . Hoping he just seeing her walk past would be enough to get his attention without anyone else knowing . Walking slowing past the camp-site, trying not met anyone's eye at the camp, walking towards the tree with a book sat down to read.

Not long after she saw Rick approaching where she was sitting.

''I thought you might want to talk'' said Rick as he approached her.

Beth smiled bit her lip a little, and nodded. '' I want to try something, have you ever played a game called You Tell Me, I'll Tell You?'' asked Beth.

Rick gave a questioning look tilted his head slightly to the side.

Beth continued, '' you tell something about yourself, I tell you something about me, or the other way round . It could be anything, embarrassing moments, feelings, little things, off topic of what we really want to know then we go from there . It's how my brother Shawn and Maggie caught me out on a lot of things. I want to talk to you Rick, this is the way I know how because… I want to let you in."

Beth said as she closed her book.

Rick bit his lip momentary dragging his teeth along the bottom lip. Beth saw it as a habit, not long after smiled and nodded as he came and sat down beside Beth. Rick noticed as Beth hesitated.

''I will go first, if you want if, that will make more comfortable, anything... right? What about we start with little things... embarrassing moments? And work our way from there,'' Rick said trying to calm Beth's nerves.

He didn't want to rush her, they would take time to get to know each other, Beth looked shying up at him and nodded.

A/n; what do you think, what embarrassing moments will Rick and Beth reveal, what else will come out during their game? Stayed tuned to find out, till next time lovely readers. Reviews welcome deadlove ox.


	13. you tell me, i tell you

Your love echoes

Rated M

Warnings; Doesn't really have any.

My beta spitefire47 is helping with editing of the chapters.

Chapter 13; you tell me, I tell you.

Rick was thinking of an embarrassing moment he could share with. When Beth thought of something from before - something random.

''I…I never have really kissed anyone,'' Beth said a little flushed as Rick turned his attention to look at her. '' I...I did try when I was 13, to see you know what it was like, see if I could,'' said Beth chuckled a little there was that shy smile again.

''A boy from the next farm, William, we hid in the barn while the others were doing chores, we thought we were so clever, had everything worked out. Knew everything, but he was so nervous. He head butted me and bit my lip. Before we knew it the doors were being pulled open causing him to fall on me. We fell off the bay loft into some hay and landed right in front of both our parents before, We … all busted out laughing, including our parents.''

'' In a way I think they knew what we were up to. I never really tried again after that'' Beth finished flushing bright red ducking her head a little as she heard Rick chuckle .

"'Yeah… we as parents, have our ways of knowing about those things,'' said Rick chuckling again only to see Beth flush a deeper red. Rick couldn't help but wonder was that more on his account? And how far did that flush really go? Before he shook his head shaking his thoughts away –for now.

After moments of silence Rick thought of the stupid things he did in high school to put Beth at ease after sharing hers. than came up with the one of many that was a classic embarrassing moments involving Shane.

''When I was 16 we...Shane and I decided to do a bet. So I bet that Shane he couldn't talk his way into getting a six pack of beer. It was stupid of me to think it couldn't be done especially with Shane,'' said Rick chuckling before continuing. '' Because when Shane went in and back came out in seconds. Not only did he come out with the beer but he also had the cashier's phone number that was serving at the time. So losing the bet, he had me strip down and run through the school grounds naked, only to turn a corner and running into Mrs O'Sullivan the headmaster. She looked me up and down, her look lingering not so subtly before shaking her head, then saying three weeks detention with her and a 5000 word essay on the French revolution. She had me write lines for two weeks of three '' I will not disregard the school and will respect the school, school's property and uniform."

Shane gave me hell about it for weeks,'' said Rick chuckling and shaking his head again at the memory. Rick raised his head in slight shock, as Beth was actually laughing at his memory. It was the first he had heard her laugh. Her laugh was beautiful and it warmed Rick's heart. After that moment he promised himself it wouldn't be the last time he heard it.

Beth was feeling less awkward and more comfortable with Rick. Relaxing, settling in beside him. After a while of sharing little embarrassing moments, Beth was completely comfortable with Rick and both were sitting a little closer to each other, whether they noticed or not. She felt safe with Rick, the first time in a long time she felt free and felt she could actually let someone in and be with someone she felt it only with Rick.

Beth chuckled at memory that suddenly came to her, Beth also Rick's eyes were on her.

''What?'' said Rick as he moved a little closer.

Beth looked shyly at Rick. "Nothing, I just remembering something Maggie and I got up to when we were kids. The time Maggie and I... when I was 9 and Maggie was about 16, we decided we were big enough to go walking in the wood for the first time alone. Dad was helping Shawn and Otis with mending the fences and mum was in the kitchen cooking with Patricia. We thought it was a good idea at the time to take a pie off the window that was cooling and run into the woods to eat it.''

Rick chuckled causing Beth to flush a little he closed his eyes settling in to listen. Rick could listen to her for hours, everything about Beth put him at ease, comforting him. Her voice, her scent. Her soft touch, her shy soft smiles it was everything he missed. Everything he didn't have with Lori any more. Beth brought him out of his thoughts he listened as Beth continued.

''The problem was we went so far in we couldn't find our way out . It took dad and the others nearly two days to find us. They found us asleep in a den type thing in the side of a hill, sleeping close together to keep warm with an empty pie dish in front of us. Our parents laughed and so did Shawn, Otis and Patricia. Mum was more worried about us then her pie and all dad said was '' that will teach you'' before laughing again. After that I refused to go near the woods again until I was at least 14 the memory still gave me a belly ache,'' Beth finished chuckling at the memory.

When Beth looked at Rick, sadness was in his eyes and he sighed running his hand over his face, Beth saw pain. Loss, guilt, sadness and hurt regret, she never thought she could see so much in person's face, except maybe herself she bit her lip hesitating.

''Hey are you okay?'' Beth ask Rick in concern

Sighing Rick straighten himself, '' it's nothing ….''

Beth cut rick off by taking his hand, '' you have been so kind to me, helping me, listening to me at least I could do is the same for you. I may not be able to help but I have some empathic ears if you need any,'' Beth said gently.

suddenly Rick did something Beth didn't expect he took a hold of Beth hand, sighing Rick intertwining his fingers with hers, he circled and traced lines on Beth hand with his thumb, looking down he sighed as he saw and felt Beth closed the hold locking their hands together

''I don't think Lori and I... I'm thinking about... I know we are both thinking about separation, things haven't been the same since I came back. Things got even worse after leaving the CDC near Atlanta, we started fighting more, we...we just grew apart.

Rick sighed again before continuing ''I guess there was enough said and done, enough burnt bridges so to speak... to hurt both of us, it not just that. Lori just isn't there anymore, everything we had that made it a marriage. Everything that made it us is gone. It's like she somewhere else, we tried to keep things together for Carl … but I don't think... I can't open that door again, I can't fix it, my feelings and love for her has changed. After almost 14 years of marriage that is the hardest thing to admit, but when we have the time we have to discuss this and decide if it's what we want,'' Rick said still holding Beth's hand. Beth didn't know what say or how to comfort him so Beth held his hand in comfort hoping it would be enough.

Beth felt Rick move uncomfortably in silence. What Rick said made Beth think of the farm after the outbreak and the chaos it caused. Beth just started talking out loud wanting to get it of her chest mostly but also dint want talking to end just yet so she said whatever came to her head.

''I remember the 3 weeks, day of the break out, it was chaos. Farms were raided all over, people robbing and raiding for food, sometimes leaving the family out to die and taking their property for shelter, if the farms were secure enough. '' Beth felt Rick's eyes on her, his hand tightened around hers. He moved closer and his body was just touching hers. Beth took the silent comfort Rick gave her and closed her eyes for a moment before continuing.

''Within 2 weeks we fought off raiders trying to take our home or food and the walkers torn our fences down along with half of themselves. The gun shots, the dead cows and cattle the chickens, dogs we loss half our animals it was a devastating loss. Then the screams of my mother woke me on the third day in the third week, my mother was hanging out the washing when a walker attacked from behind, there was no warning. My brother Shawn tried to come to her rescue only to be attacked himself by the time we got to them it was too late the damage was already done''. Beth finished tears were falling she wiped the tears hastily they were gone just as fast as they fell, she felt Rick's eyes on her.

Rick moved his thumb round her skin rubbing gently before raising his hand and gently wiping away the tear she missed. Beth closed her eyes, melting slightly into his touch as his hand lingered for a few moments then was gone.

''I'm sorry I didn't know how it affected you, your family, Lori, Carl, Shane, the group, or anyone. I was in a coma for about a month from what I could gather when everything first hit but it felt longer, it felt like years. Felt like I slept through it all, then when I came to everything I knew; everything that was gone. I woke up continuing a conversation to Shane…about flowers and vase that was brought to me a week before. For all I know, I woke up alone, it felt like a nightmare, not knowing where I was at first.'' rick was careful with his words no matter how he felt for her, he still wasn't sure if she felt the same, where they stood or if could let his guard down so for now he hid his true feelings and self – for now, he was telling the truth if only it was a half truth.

''Atlanta looked like a bomb site, choppers, tanks and bodies everywhere. My home empty and my family gone the world had gone to shit and I was alone with the walking dead. Surrounded by bodies it took me..what felt like months to find my family then to realise nothing would be the same again''.

Beth couldn't take any more she had to get it out say it. ''I'm sorry if it wasn't for me you wouldn't have been shot and would have been with you family.''

Beth shot up from where she was sitting Rick was close behind and grabbed Beth hand gently to stop her from walking away.

''Beth, stop please? What are you talking about? ...what's wrong ? '' Rick asked .

Beth didn't answer right away hesitating but Rick waited not letting go Beth sighed.'' You don't remember do you? My boyfriend was who you were chasing when you got shot... he is...was insensitive asshole who, didn't care who got hurt as long as he got what he wanted. ''

Rick stopped in his tracks and froze Beth sighed and tried to move out of Rick grip only to have Rick recover just as quickly this time his hand went under her chin and brought up to meet him, his eyes were forgiving and kind, with comfort in them.

'' Hey, hey.. none of that was you're doing."

Beth shook her head trying to move away but Rick moved closer . This time bringing his hand to her face and cradled it, Beth melted instantly into his touch closing her eyes.

"Hey it's not on you, it's not your fault none, of it was Beth. You don't have to tell me anything if you don't want to, but if you do and want to talk I'm right here okay? I'm not the one to judge, but I do know one thing Beth you weren't part of what happen to me, nor you never will be, it is all on him.'' Rick said as he wiped away Beth tears . She really believed that what happened to him was her fault? How could it be?

As Beth listened to Rick a shiver went down her spine. Beth was beginning to realise.

Beth didn't reveal anything about Liam or Nathan and Rick didn't push her . Rick was the first person she felt she could tell it to all of it to, for Beth that was huge step and it gave her hope. Maybe she wasn't as damaged as she thought to be...seen by someone to... care for, wanted, and maybe loved by someone. This was new to Beth and she didn't want it to end. She found that being around Rick silenced everything else and calmed it all. She trusted and felt safe enough around to let it go even for the time being, enough to be herself which hadn't seen in a long time.

Her walls were coming down around her and it was to be with... at the possibility of letting him loving her as a friend and or lover . Beth felt no doubt with him or fear, wanting to get to know him, all of him, the good and the bad sides of Rick, doubting it will change the way that she will or is feeling. To know… get to know his touch and secrets, to want and be loved by him. She could let him teach her to love again, open up to him and heal her and in time move on. With Rick things she had... thought she had forgotten came to her and she didn't it to end. Yes there was no doubt any more. Beth found herself wanting to -letting him yes..yes she was falling in love with Rick Grimes and for the first time in a long time it felt..Right.

Wanting and was willing to be a part of his life to let all go and be with him. She wanted it all with this man and no matter how much guilt she felt it didn't matter. It didn't change anything but now she knows. She can't help but wonder what will the price be? If Nathan showed up again? Lori? Carl? Maggie? Her father? Rick? Damn. Beth tried to push thought out of her head at the possibility she couldn't think that. He could be dead, but she doubted it. Beth was getting ahead of herself. She didn't even know how Rick felt, if he felt the same? No matter what, all she had to do wait to see how he felt and deal with the rest as it comes. But now Beth finally knows how she feels for Rick it will change everything.

Beth closed her eyes she felt his eyes on her but either didn't say anything. Then as if Rick knew what Beth was thinking he moved close to her, so close in Beth breathing hitched just a little... his lips brushed hers slightly. Then suddenly the moment was broken by sudden footsteps approaching only to be Maggie's.

''Beth? Beth! There you are dad has been looking for you… both of you . Dinner is almost ready, this is where you been all this time?'' said Maggie as she reached them. Only then did they realise how dark it had gotten since they first arrived to sit under the tree. Beth sighed if Maggie wasn't suspicious, she had a feeling she would be now, but to Beth's relief Maggie said nothing .'Not until later at least' Beth thought to herself and even then what could she say to her?

Both of them nodded before rising to their feet. The three of them walked back to the house in silence.

A/N; I made last minute changes, any mistakes are my own, sorry if this chapter a bit slow in pacing but it will pick up again, what will happen next? Just have to stay tuned guys. Til next time keep on reading lovely readers. Reviews welcome. Deadlove ox.


	14. open arms

Your love echoes

Rated M

warnings; mild course language, mentions of mild violence. Rick/Beth first kiss. (Yay)

My beta spitfire47 is helping with editing of chapters.

Chapter 14; Open Arms.

Beth arrived at the house, seeing Lori, Carl, their group and her family at the table. Beth's head throbbed , the conversation was catching up to her. It has been almost 2 weeks since Liam and finally realising her feelings for Rick. Being with Rick helped some but once alone the memories of Liam and Nathan crushed her breathless but with Rick, it is him who leaves her breathless . She couldn't win but if she had a choice she would definitely choose Rick any day. Her father pulled her a side.

"You okay Bethie?'' said Hershel.

Beth sighed nodded '' Yeah dad just tired it's been along few weeks I think finally it is all catching up to me. I am going to lay down,'' said Beth.

Hershel put his hand to her forehead, '' you sure? Nothing for me to look at?''

Beth shook her head again. '' No daddy I'm fine, my head a little sore and my hands. Other than that I'm just tired I just going to lay down for a bit.'' Beth kissed her father's forehead, than left the room not before taking a last look a Rick, who didn't miss the look, giving her a soft smile.

Beth arrived in her room only to collapse onto her bed, turning over she smiled touching her lips . What would have happened if Maggie didn't find them, did he want to kiss her? It would have been her first kiss, all she could think of were his soft touches, his sad smiles. The talk they had today, what he told her, and what she told him, she was... she to let him in, or starting to and it scared her. But it also like weight was being melted off her chest, her walls was coming down with him it felt right.

Everything she was feeling with him felt right, she told him things she thought she won't tell anybody. They were her memories she held on to, the good and the bad. She didn't talk to her father or Maggie about them or that she remembered, she never told anyone that she has never really been kissed. Well what she called a kiss, Nathan and Liam were all over but never her lips, they were hard and painful. Then Rick was there and she was telling him things, feeling things.

She was falling in love with him, part of Beth was happy that she felt true and it was...felt right . The possibility sent shivers down her spine to be in his arms, share everything with Rick, to be...loved and cared for was all Beth wanted . For him to teach her to love again was all she wanted and to be with someone and not fear them or doubted them to be loved, wanted and needed, for the passion to be real.

Just being with Rick left her breathless. If he did want to kiss her would she let him? The answer for her was; yes she would let him. She realised from the first moment Beth saw him, she wanted him to kiss her, for him to be her first real kiss. Beth thought of him and all Rick did was take care of the group, his son and Lori - everyone else's needs always coming first. It made Beth wonder, who was taking care of him?

But also the part with guilt was also back again, as far as Beth knew, no matter what problems Lori and Rick had they were still together. Rick and Lori still shared everything and cared for their son, Carl, how could she forget him in all this? To be fair they haven't even spoken to each other yet, even discussed it and, even if they were to separate, it had to be by both parties and mutual, no matter how Beth felt for Rick. If Rick felt the same, she could never be with him unless or until they agree to live their own lives, even if it may never be final and explain to Carl.

Maybe it was her good Catholic girl coming out, but what good little Catholic girl dreams of being loved, touched and kissed passionately by Rick Grimes. To take care of a grown man, who was in he's thirties twenty years older? Damn but it felt good...right and loved the possibility that he may feel the same, have the passion there to love without doubt or fear. But the fact remained weather or not Rick felt the same he had to talk to Lori first to work out what is what before she could be involved with him and that was if he felt the same?

xxxx

After dinner Rick decided to turn in himself, Lori wanted to spend some time with Carl before heading to bed. All Rick could think of and picture was Beth, her voice, her laugh, the way she blushed and leaned into his touch . What she told him, there was so much doubt, fear and hurt. all he wanted to do was take all her pain away take it all away and just be with, love and care for her.

Rick could see….he saw the doubt in her eyes, but he saw that Beth liked him maybe had feelings for him? He found himself hoping she felt as he did. Rick found her shyness around him, but also her curiosity, and wanted her to trust him, even if she wasn't sure if she could . Making him want to reach out to her again and easy her worries and doubts she had for him show her that she could trust him that she had nothing to fear from him. Then thought back of the almost kiss, how only brushing his lips with hers, how she leaned into the touch and how her breath hitched slightly. That made him wonder if Maggie didn't appear when she did, would she have let him kiss her? Would she have kissed him back? He couldn't feel guilty for wanting that with Beth, to be with and care for her, love her. To show and teach Beth his way of love.

To give her new memories of what love should be. It felt right...perfect even, how they fit perfectly in the other's arms, the touches and kisses. Beth's laugh and smiles, the rest he hoped would come with time, then it hit him hard the realisation; yes he was falling in love with Beth Green of all people. Yes she was 17 and half his age but it felt right...new… but what was he to do about Lori?

The guilt was back again, it wasn't just Lori and Carl any more but this time went as far as worrying of how it would affect, the reaction of Hershel and Maggie? Beth was 17 and 20 years younger than himself he was old enough to be her father and yet he felt want love, need and passion for her. That a father should never feel for their daughter and he had Lori and Carl. Would Hershel even allow his daughter near him if he knew? Somehow he doubted it.

He felt he would have to talk to him at some point but after he spoke to Lori, if his past job taught him anything the truth came with time and patience. He would have to keep his distance from Beth… for now or try to, until he spoke to Lori and later Hershel to get everything out there . With everything at stake here, some of the group were settling in here . They had shelter, food, medicine and safety it was something he couldn't risk not with Carl, T-Dog and Daryl barely back on their feet so he would have to wait for now. But he didn't...couldn't let go of the possibilities he may have with Beth just yet that if he was right and Beth felt the same for him?

Tomorrow he would ask Beth if she wants to come on a run to the pharmacy noticing there wasn't much first aid supplies after treating Carl. It should be than easy car ride there and back or maybe they could take some horses and take it slow with Beth and talk to her again and see how it goes, even as just friends for now, maybe more later on with time. With the promise he would wait until she came to him and if she whatever was said would stay between them. With that he settled down to sleep, not hearing Lori return an hour later.

xxxx

It was if Beth read Rick's mind as he and Lori came down to breakfast the next day. They heard arguing and saw Hershel ran his hand over his face raising his hand to Maggie, signalling her to not interfere. Maggie huffed in frustration.

''No Beth absolutely not,'' Hershel said.

Beth sighed rising out of her seat putting a hand on Maggie's shoulder telling her sister she is alright. ''Dad I'm almost 18, I'm not a child any more so stop treating me like one. The pharmacy is just a couple miles down the road I can be there and back in an hour or so. I'll even take someone with me if will ease your worries, Maggie or maybe Rick, one of rick's group both if it would make you feel better. But dad we hardly have any medical supplies since Carl, T-dog and Daryl has been injured and I need some personal things myself. I need... I feel more comfortable getting them myself I don't want to burden anyone else with it please dad,'' Beth said. She didn't want to look at her father or Maggie any more, feeling herself flush Beth ducked her head only to be in the embrace of Maggie. Another reason Beth wanted to is to spend time with Rick hoping he was the one to get picked. If she and Maggie could get their father agreed that is. Maggie was completely unaware of her true intentions.

''Dad, Beth is embarrassed enough about that. Doesn't want it to be brought up every time she wants to go out? She need them, they help her sleep. I will go with her or have Rick or one of the others take her. If you need me here we can ask them not to say anything. But shutting Beth out from the world is not the answer, and if you keep on pushing her she will shut down. Just one day off the farm if only for a few hours, will make all the difference to Beth, please Dad, Beth needs it, if only it is for one day'' Maggie said Hershel sighed.

A while later they had convinced Hershel to let Beth go for the run. Rick couldn't have planned it better himself as he was the one that was going with her. If Hershel suspected anything going on between his self and Beth, he kept it to himself. Beth came to the drive way with two horses, riding one and guide the other in a slow trot, not before thinking about before when Lori approached her with a request, a pregnancy test? But she was the one not to pry and try to shut down those thoughts that hit her. Promised not to say anything and would keep it quiet for which,Lori was thankful, but as soon as she saw Rick thoughts were forgotten. She would spend 2 hours with this man and couldn't think of anything to say.

'' Hey, can you ride or do you want to take the car?'' said Beth as she reached Rick but felt imminently stupid and ducked to hide the blush.

Rick chuckled, he could get used to Beth blushing she was beautiful when she blushed.

''Yeah I can ride, just a bad memory with the last time I did that's all. The Horses are fine since you already have them saddled and ready,'' Rick said as he stepped up on to the saddle of the horse. With one shift move, Rick was seated and Beth chuckled followed a soft smile.

''I'm impressed sheriff, looks like someone has been holding out on me,'' Beth said teasing Rick a little only to have Rick chuckle in return.

''Come on we better get moving if we are to be back by sun down.''

Not long after they waved goodbye to their families, they started moving forward together Rick clicked his tongue at the horse to get him moving.

They moved slowly down the road in silence, Beth knew Rick was trying to understand were Beth was coming from. Trying to be understanding he was waiting for her to come to him. But how? What could she possibly say? Talk about Liam? Nathan? Her developing feeling for him and everything else? It hurt too much but the concern and the hurt in his eyes dimmed every time he looked at her.

But she couldn't not speak yet especially with when Lori pulled her aside the morning before they left and asked her to get a pregnancy test. Beth wasn't the one to pry on anyone's business but couldn't' help but feel hurt, but she had the right did she?

It was a reminder a twisting knot in her stomach. Lori was still Rick's wife, the mother of his son and maybe pregnant with another?. Beth couldn't help but feel her chance with him, them being together was closing, fading into the distance. Lori had hugged her when she nodded and asked to keep it between them. Could she? She looked at Rick. Damn she could and her walls were going up with it.

She sighed running her hand over her face Beth decided to concentrate on the task at hand and tried not think about it anymore. They looked out for walkers, they did make small talk along the way when the silence got too much but with the small chat they enjoyed the other company. Rick could see something was on Beth's mind, something that was bothering her, he didn't know what but he didn't want push Beth into things too quickly. He could tell she liked his company and that was enough for now – for both of them. Maggie was right getting Beth off the farm was the right thing to do even if Hershel didn't agree at first.

xxxx

Meanwhile back at the house Hershel and Lori were looking over Carl as he was helping Maggie feed the baby chickens. Lori was throwing in a handful every now and then Carl looked at his mother.

''Don't worry so much, I'm fine,'' Carl said as Lori pulled another handle of feed and threw it from where she was sitting.

''I'm your mother it is my job to worry.''

Carl threw more hands of feed then turned to his mum.

''No it's not, you're a housewife'' Hershel and Maggie chuckled at the back and forth between mother and son.

Lori playfully threw feed at her son ''Oh yeah, you see my house around here, punk, house wife…'' Lori mutters last bit more to herself than anyone else. Carl laughed trying to doge the feed his mother threw at him.

Lori and Carl unaware of Patricia in the chicken huts, grabbing a 1or 2 adult chickens.

Carl continued throwing feed watching the baby chicks crowding around his feet wondering when his father would be back.

Both Hershel and Lori had their mind on other things like the almost friendly encounter between Rick and Beth. What was on their mind the most was Beth's comment to him and how she called him sheriff. Did they know each other from somewhere before? And if so where? For the life of them they couldn't think of where the two would've met before now. And how close the two were the other day when they were doing chores around the farm, they knew Rick was trying to Help Beth. But they saw them at different points through the day, how close they were to each other, almost touching even when they were talking. They never looked away from the other, the way the they looked at each other when they were taking, like they were trying to figure the other out, if they could trust the other person?.

They didn't see Beth fall or anything but what they saw was enough to make them wonder? It was almost like feeling they were interpreting a private moment between lovers. They shook the feeling off, but it didn't feel like it.. couldn't be nothing, but from what they have seen and not just the other day. It did make them wonder if there was something between them, and if so how deep are those feelings? They guessed they would just have to wait and see they could be wrong it could be nothing and Rick was simply helpful and caring Lori knew that as the kind of man Rick was and Hershel pick up on that as well or they refused to believe it, a grown man in his mid -thirties with a 17 year old? There was a slim chance. They would need to pull Rick and Beth aside and have a serious conversation with both of them but they will wait and, see not wanting to get ahead of them themselves thinking of everyone who would be involved.

xxxx

After a while they reached the pharmacy, the street and area seemed clear so they tied the horses nearby just out of eye shot of the tree line. They were hoping it wouldn't take too long and nothing would spook them.

Rick and Beth entered the pharmacy, working quickly, they went to getting what they needed not wanting to stay longer than necessary. Though it was clear now they didn't know how long it would last the threat was still there whether it be walker or otherwise.

Not long after they arrived they were finished with the gathering of medical supplies for the group. Beth worked her way to the backroom, grabbing pain killers, and sleeping pills. She packed the bandannas she saw earlier, she had knew she had enough but she liked the colours and patterns they soothed her. They were like a security blanket, something to focus on when things got bad. She hadn't slept for almost two days, only getting about 2 hours over two days she was exhausted and ached but it felt longer, almost 2 months after walkers attacks, the well and the killing of Liam with in days of each other, everything was starting to weigh down on her. She wasn't sure how much longer she could say she is fine and for them to believe it, especially herself, or to say it and mean it? Right now she felt like crap but couldn't sleep in fear of what she will see if and when she closes her eyes.

Then Beth thought about Rick, could she really open up to him if he had the chance? Could she really tell him about...about everything? The hurt and understanding in Rick's eyes, the way he studied her, the closeness. She knew he intended to let her know he won't be leaving that easily. Damn! He was going to be the death of her.

Rick was standing near the entrance of the pharmacy keeping watch, he watched Beth as she went into the back room . He knew somethingwas wrong, something was bothering her and was trying so hard to kept it together, but she was struggling he wanted to keep her close protect her . Let the rest come with time, and let her come to him on her own. Yes he could wait.

Then Rick was pulled out of his train of thought when the sound of bottles or boxes fall to the floor.

Rick moved forward having his knife ready for any trouble ''Beth!? Beth you alright?''

Beth stumbled trying to catch the rest of the falling bottles worried about the noise it would cause . Cursing at herself and the shelf, Beth had being startled and tripped over a body she banged her knee on the shelf knocking the bottles off, she continued to rubbing her knee: "Damn it!"

Then Beth heard Rick call out '' Beth!? Beth you alright?''

Beth took a moment to pull her- self together then made her way out of the backroom.

''Yeah I'm okay. I got startled by a body on the floor, tripped and knocked into shelf, silly really."

Rick stood beside her giving her a look like he wasn't completely convinced. Beth sighed moving forward taking his hand.

''I'm okay, really... let's go.''

After a moments' hesitation Rick nodded and they started to head for the door.

Rick had his hand at Beth lower back guiding her, when Beth remembered Lori.

''Hold on, I forgot something I will just be a second. Meet me at the door," Beth said.

Rick was hesitantly thinking whether it was a good idea or not and Beth saw it. She couldn't help but notice how close Rick was to her. Bethclosed her eyes and focusing on what she was going to say not Rick's body. 'silly girl, pull yourself together' Beth thought to herself.

"I will be fine I will just be a second, promise." After another moments' hesitation Rick nodded letting Beth pass him. Rick waited by the exit.

Beth made her way to the woman's section, the embarrassing moments after when Maggie told her what the pink little candies were and what they were for. That was the first time anyone had told her about sex, she was only about 13 at the time, she was so freaked out about the whole thing. She grabbed them from Maggie and threw them in the duck pond.

Beth sighed smiling at the memory she found quite funny now she thought about it . Grabbing the pregnancy test for Lori and put it her backpack not wanting to think about too much she made her way back to Rick.

Making their way out of the pharmacy, they heard the moaning sounds of walkers.

Beth moved to Rick taking a hold of his sides not ready to face it yet. Rick pulled his knife.

"Stay close''

Beth nodded there weren't many walkers just 3 of them. Rick was hoping they could deal with them quickly and quietly and be back before sunset.

Rick moved forward stabbing the first walker in the head then suddenly the other two was on him pushing him up against the windows, fighting the two walkers snapping at him. Rick had dropped his knife and couldn't reach his gun. Beth saw the knife, she saw Rick, Beth acted on instinct. She gripped the heads of the walkers and stabbed them both through the head, pulling them off Rick. Rick turned to Beth to see if she was alright and thank her but was concerned and grounded by what he saw.

Beth just froze. Staring at the blood on her hands and the knife, then suddenly Beth dropped the knife and started trying to wipe the blood off. Rick saw Beth was panicking.

Beth felt her chest was heavy and was harder to breathe. Rick moved closer: ''Beth?''

The young woman started rubbing at her hands harder at the blood and tears started to fall. All she could think was his laughter, the roughness of his hands then all she saw was his blood on her, on her hands.

Rick moved forward gently taking her hands not wanting to scare her.

''Shh, hey, hey, Beth it's alright come here.''

Guiding Beth over to the backpack grabbing a bottle of water and dressing that could pass as cloth. Pouring some water onto it he gently started wiping her hands. Calming and shushing Beth, she leaned into chest, crying and hiding her face. Rick didn't mind the closeness, he sighed . She was exhausted and scared all he wanted to do was hold her close but he had to calm her first which, was to take care of the blood.

Rick put aside the bloody dressing and removed her bandages from Beth hands replacing them with fresh ones, Beth stayed close to Rick chest.

Beth breathed in Rick's scent, taking in his comfort and warmth of Rick's body. Once Rick was finished he closed the embrace, his lip brushed the top of Beth's head. She felt safe in Rick's strong arms. She knew Rick was holding back, he wanted more than this he was he wanting to kiss her but the pull – held back? Beth was vulnerable she knew but she wanted him close. He really wasn't going to leave her? But could she let him in?

Beth moved away slowly but still close enough for Rick to kiss her forehead, looking up. Beth gripped Rick's shirt and he moved in again placing kisses on Beth forehead. Then her temple and jaw, Beth closed her eyes, yes she was letting it happen... yes she could let him in Rick's lips came closer.

After hesitating a few moments Beth slowly ran her fingers through Ricks curls pulling him a little closer. Rick sighed moving closer to Beth lips, but only went half way unsure of what Beth wanted, but it was Beth who made the final move pressing her lips to his.

Their kiss was slow and passionate. Beth following Rick's lead, moving her lips with his after what felt like hours. Beth parted her lips letting Rick tongue enter her mouth, Beth chased Rick's tongue with hers each tasting the other. Deep in the kiss Beth moaned softly as Rick moved her against the windows of the pharmacy, Rick pressed his body into hers feeling the heat and closeness as much as he could without scaring her. Groaning at the contact he wanted for so long, just tasting each other soon the kiss became more heated with want and need until Beth slightly press on Rick's chest telling him she need to take a breath.

''Wow that was even better than I imagined, you really have been holding out on me.''

Beth giggled out of breath only to have Rick chuckle in return.

''Yeah?''

Beth giggled again blushing slightly kissing his lips.

''Yeah,'' Then realising how late it was getting Beth muttered. ''I hate to break it up sheriff but it's getting late we need to head back."

Rick moved his hand down Beth's jaw, her eyes closed at the contact.

''Yeah we should….but not yet.''

Beth raised an eye brow then felt Rick lips at her jaw ''oh'' was all Beth got out before Rick took her into another long passionate kiss.

A/N; sorry for such a long chapter but I felt it was needed. But promise you the next chapter won't be as long as this one. Yay Beth and Rick kiss at last, but how long will it last? What will happen when Lori has unexpected news for Rick? Will it cause tension between the new found lovers? Or will Lori and Rick come to a decision that will change all their lives? Stayed tuned to find out - until next time lovely readers. Reviews welcome ox.


	15. secrets and true feelings pt 1

A/N just a reminder if this is not your kind of story or you don't like this story please don't read it the warnings are there at the start of the story, and in the start of every chapter. they are not there to be ignored. To all the Other readers welcome lets get on with the story.

Your Love Echoes

Rating M

Trigger Warnings. Mild course language, mentions of abuse, and self harm, addiction of pain killers and under age drinking.

beta spitfire47 is helping with editing of chapters

chapter 15 secrets and true feelings pt1.

It has been a day since their kiss. Beth went in with a quick kiss to Rick's cheek. As she passed her father by, her knee was aching and had a little limp to her walk and of course her father noticed and fussed over her. Beth was still reeling from the kiss and everything else was white noise compared to the kiss. Beth was torn with what she wanted and what she believed in. The kiss felt so good...so right it was everything she wanted it to be and more she wanted which was nothing more than to kiss him. Again to do nothing else but kiss him and be near him, let him show her love, let him in and show him the real Beth green. To tell him things but then the was the other part of her the more moral part and was the part that believed in god and her faith. Promising herself she was not…could not be with him until after or if he talked with Lori and decided that, that's what he wanted. A part of her that could not be with any man that was married or with another woman or in Rick case a wife and child was involved.

Beth asked her father if she could rest for the day her knee ached something awful. Beth let her father check it over after she returned telling her father it was a result of clumsiness, which it was though it was a sharp corner and had taken some skin off and some bruising. It was sore, her father didn't ask about the run. Beth was hoping it was because her Father was starting to trust Rick and hoping that was all it was... okay. Maybe there was a chance she was also avoiding Rick, she wanted to talk to Rick about what happened between them and what it meant. She didn't know what it meant herself or maybe it was she wanted to hear Rick say it. But every time she saw Rick intending to do that, the kiss comes back to her and all she wants to do is pull him to her and kiss the answers out of him, whether her family or the group, Lori and even Carl was present or not. That was not good at all but was avoiding it all together was any better?

'Damn it Beth pull yourself together you need to face him and talk to him, but not today. Today rest think it through and work out your feelings, but you can't keep avoiding him, ' Beth thought to herself. She was trying to calm herself, running her hand over her face Beth would like to think she was true to her faith, but when it came to Rick everything seemed to go out the window. Promising herself she will talk to him and it will have to be sooner rather than later. Beth leaned against her bed and closed her eyes. The biggest realisation for Beth was in the last few weeks while Rick was here she hadn't had have nightmares or memories of them – Nathan or Liam at all. Sure she had the pain or headache every now and then but she slept better almost all through the night. It was all Rick, everything about him called out to her and made her safe but was it too good to be true? Could she let him in like he said, but how could she do that without judgement?.

xxxx

Hershel sat at the breakfast table with his coffee and old book of veteran medicine It was still early and no one else was up yet, exhausted from lack of sleep and worrying for his youngest daughter Beth was going to be the death of him. With her stubbornness which he was constantly reminded by Maggie, Beth got it from him no less, though that may be true enough he just wished his Beth would just talk to him. Granted he knew some of what she went through the morning she asked for help all beaten and bruised scaring the life out of him, she cried in his arms for hours and it broke his heart to see his Beth so broken and beaten down. To think she spent all energy hiding the horror of what she suffered that the bastard's hands to protect their family and angered him to a point he wanted to kill the kid that hurt his Beth, his baby girl.

Well not so little now as Beth liked to constantly remind him. And that was saying something because he never used bad language in front of the Lord, and was strong on faith or had any thoughts of killing anyone but it was his baby girl. Those men had beaten her and left her in the woods of all places! He tried to calm himself as the anger boiled to the surface just thinking about it, asking the Lord to give him strength. He didn't want to think on the injuries his daughter had or the anger when the doctor showed him the x rays and reports of Beth's previous injuries confirming the long term abuse, years even. From broken bones and burns, he had burned her and he has done it more than once, inflamed organs scar tissue from the abuse the stitches that would have been used for injuries. Most likely he used a belt and that would leave scars on her back. He hated Liam with every fibre of his being and would likely kill him if they ever crossed paths however slim that maybe. He also knew there was more to it, things Beth wasn't telling him. Were there more people involved did they...? No he couldn't go there. He was already fighting his anger as it is.

But what if there was? He knew there was a possibility that there was more than one involved maybe a family member? But never wanted to voice it or admit to himself and that's how- why the kid got away with it so long? Was that the reason she couldn't open up to him? Was she worried of how he would react? Be disappointed or ashamed of her? How could she think that? He could never be ashamed of her for something that wasn't her fault. That was done to her for years.

Thinking of how scared she was, how alone and cut off Beth was. Years of pain and emotional abuse and it wasn't stopped. He should of seen it sooner, maybe then he stopped it he could of helped her. Hershel felt a few tears escape and ran his hand over his face. His daughter was in a living hell for years and no one noticed, that's why he was so hard on Beth to open up to him. Hershel felt somehow this was his fault too for not noting sooner? He tried to steady himself- to calm himself the others will rise soon to start the day.

But then maybe Maggie was right. To fuss over her and trying to get her to talk to him was not the answer, maybe she would shut down if he push the subject constantly like he had before. Maybe he should be patient and let her come to him when she is ready and listen without judgement give her the support she needs and pray with her, yes that seemed a better option. That is what he will do, he owed that to Beth a least to let her come to him when she was ready to let it all go but then again will she ever?

Then there was Rick. He wasn't sure what was going on with those two, but he knew there was something between them, the run seemed to have gone well yesterday apart from Beth's knee, they had their supplies. Rick seemed trust worthy, he has proved that a few times by helping Beth over the last few weeks and he found himself liking the man against his better judgement. Hershel wasn't going to rush judgement on what was happening between them it maybe it was nothing, Rick could just be friendly and helping her and Beth seems to be opening up to him slowly. He had seen his Beth laugh and smile again with Rick around and it has been years since he seen the light in his younger daughter eyes, the hope his daughter had and it was because of him. As much as he hated to admit it Rick maybe was the only one his Beth may open up to, the chances are slim there is more between them, then friendship be if there is... Well he may have to sit Rick down and have a serious conversation with both him and Beth, because it won't affect just them but also everyone around them including Maggie, Lori, Carl and himself. But it seemed harmless enough for now. Being pulled out of thought as everyone was raising and come down to start the day Maggie seeing her father at the table. Maggie walked to him said good morning and kissed her father on the cheek before helping Patricia with breakfast.

xxxx

After everyone sat at the table to eat that when Maggie noticed Beth was missing, Rick did too, but didn't wait to bring it up and brought unwanted attention to himself namely Lori and Carl.

''Hey dad where's Beth is she okay?'' Hershel being pulled out of his thoughts Hershel smiled at his eldest daughter.

''Beth is fine, just tired is all. She didn't sleep well last night I gave her the day off to rest,'' Hershel giving his daughter the warning look not to bother her sister.

Rick noticed the interaction but said nothing but suspected Beth was struggling with what happen between them. The kiss, guilt because of Lori and her feelings, but Rick had to admit he had been avoiding Lori for the same reason. Beth knee was bugging her? She had been hurt on the run and he didn't know? Beth hadn't said anything to him. Rick sitting back his chair and finished his breakfast in silence, he was patient, he would wait, he wanted to talk to her work though about what was going on between Beth and himself later. He needed to talk to Lori anyway and needed to soon. He needed to know her decision and what they were going to tell their son.

xxxx

Meanwhile Lori had other things on her mind. Earlier Beth had given the test to her so she needed to get away just for a while before talking to Rick so she had be sure that she was pregnant... it wasn't the only thing she had to talk to him about and it was time. It had been months since Rick and Lori had been together sexually and her and Shane well... if she was, she wasn't sure who the father was she had tried to make it work with Rick. They had some time together then the CDC, time on the road, Sophia missing and Carl being shot had put a wedge between them, making them face their problems.

Then there was Beth. Lori wasn't blind to the fact, there was something between Rick and Beth, the way Rick was when he saw Beth. How easily he dropped everything to help her even at the cost of being at odds with the group, Carol and losing time for searching for Sophia. Lori knew that was the type of man Rick was putting everyone before himself and concern for their safety that was what made him perfect for his job and one of the reasons she had fell in love with Rick. But there was a feeling she couldn't shake, and for the life of her couldn't place it. Rick must know her from somewhere she made a metal note to ask Rick later. But first things first she needed a place to go and some time to take the test and safest time to do it is at night fall.

xxxx

Beth wasn't seen all day. Maggie tried to talk to her but Beth didn't want to talk or see her she wasn't having a bar of it. Hershel came to check on her and left food at the door knocked twice and walked away, After Beth gave Lori the test all she could think about was where she stood with Rick and what it meant for them if Lori was pregnant? Did Rick do what he did because his feelings for her were genuine? Or did he kiss her because it was all he could think of to do at the time? Did he have any really feelings for her or was Rick kissing her because he couldn't get it anywhere else. Was Shane right? Did he just want to get in her pants because she was there? Where did they really stand with him?

Rick was the only person she ever felt things with. She has spent so many years numbing herself and everything around her whenever they were... she has completely numbed herself to everything. She doesn't remember the last time she had smiled or laughed, the last time her smile had reached her eyes and not felt forced... the last time she had cried or felt actual joy or peace. It was like a battle field inside her and she didn't show any of it but with Rick it was quite.. she couldn't really name the explain the feeling, gentle? desirable? Loving?. Every laugh and smile wasn't forced it felt good. His touches and kisses gave her shivers down her spine and she actually felt peace and joy. Was it joy she was feeling among other things? She hasn't felt in so long, so she didn't know what it was or how to explain it and it was all because of Rick. Beth didn't want it to end, Rick felt like a new addiction for it was here and she didn't know why or how. She was at war with herself whether to tell him about everything. Nathan, the drugs, the beatings, the cutting, burning, the drinking and self-harm and how she felt when she saw him for the first time everything. She hadn't dreamt or thought of them once since Rick and her started hang out. Being together she didn't know what to call it, but whatever it was when she was with Rick to was quite... calm -body and mind she didn't think she just was content.

But she silently promised herself and Lori that she wouldn't…couldn't be with Rick, not while he was still with his wife. So until they worked out what they were going to do and tell Carl of course, she would try to keep her distance. If she was pregnant it would just complicate things more... would Rick want to be part of the baby's life and would it fix things between him and Lori? Though from what Rick told her she had her doubts but couldn't help but feel hurt and doubting everything that happened between them. Beth felt a tear escape before she fell into restless sleep it wasn't the nightmares that kept her awake. It was her heart and the thought of who she couldn't or wouldn't have. She slipped out of bed taking the bottle out of her hiding place behind her dresser and had a few slips before settling in to her bed hiding her face in her pillow wishing sleep to come.

xxxx

Rick was sitting with his son. Carl was reading to his father and doing a fine, occasionally helping Carl when he got stuck with his words. He was laughing and was his old self. It warmed his heart seeing his son like this reminding him of old times with his own father and would keep this as a fond memory. It was like what happening around him wasn't effecting his son's view on the world and he would try to keep it that way as long as possible. He hadn't paid much attention to Carl the last couple of days and felt guilty, he needed to spend more time with his son and find time to talk to Lori. They deserved to know what was going on between them was it over. Though it felt that way for a long time and Lori hadn't denied it but she hadn't voiced any of it.

He felt – they both felt it wasn't much of a marriage. It was a different kind of love and there was things she hid from him. including her affair with Shane or sleeping with Shane more like it. Of course he knew, the way they danced around each other, the harsh whispers, the way Lori acts around him, and the looks Shane gives him. The way they practically jumped apart when he was walking by or over to them it's hard not to notice but said nothing even though it seemed like it was over at least in Lori point of view. It still hang over them, maybe it was time to bring it up he was hanging back waiting Lori to come to him to admit it. Maybe he didn't want to believe it, a part of him still didn't. Lori thought he was dead and started sleeping with his best friend? Yeah it hurt him though he would never admit it or voice it and Lori ended it and to try and make it work between them, but it seemed to make it worse and brought up many other problems with it.

He has even noticed Shane doesn't think or believe it is over and won't give it up either. Rick could see it would cause future problems. He would have to deal with that later. Still not wanting to believe or trust it was true. But focusing on the present the only thing keeping him and Lori together was Carl and Rick wasn't sure if that was enough any more that maybe separation was best. He didn't know how to explain it to Carl or how it would affect Carl's view on the world. All he knew was everything going to change for them and there was no fixing it or turning back, he just couldn't open that door again and it will remain closed.

Then there was Beth. What was he going to do about Beth? She had been avoiding him since the kiss and the run to the pharmacy, and why didn't she tell him she was hurt? Beth said she was fine and wasn't and what did she go back for? He knew it was probably confusing for her, her feelings for him and the kiss. Did he trigger memories she would rather forget? Or was she confused of what she felt with him? He hoped it was that. Rick didn't want it to end with Beth or her to close up again because of him. Was it selfish of him to want something for himself? That he wanted to be with her? Wanted to show her how love should be? Was he falling for her? Answer was – yes he was and yes he wanted to take it all away and be the one to be loved in return to have something for himself in return.

Beth had stared to open up to him she was slowly becoming herself again. He saw the way she was around him, and it was somehow different than when was around everyone else even Hershel or Maggie. He could see the small difference in her and it was because of him. he wished he could see her smile and laugh more because she was beautiful.. he doubted her smile ever reached her eyes or was forced. She was herself was him and he wanted her to continue and maybe something more in the future. But Beth was still holding a lot back, he was hoping to keep things with Beth and when he spoke to her she would be open to it. He also needed to talk to Hershel but first thing first he needed to talk to Lori. Rick looked over to see Carl sleeping.

''What I am going to do?''

He watched his son a little longer running his hand tiredly over his face then kissing his son on the forehead, placing the book on the dresser before closing the door quietly behind him.

xxxx

Meanwhile Lori had made her way out of the house, moving around where she couldn't be seen by prying eyes and had a knife just in case. Taking out the test she waited for the result.

A/N; sorry for the update. Life just happens I guess. But I am back and hopefully for the rest of the story. Now I have little more free time to finish the story and answer all those all important questions. well hope you liked their inner thoughts it all leads to everything in next chapter and all the questions all be answered over the next couple of chapters. So what going to happen next? Stayed tuned lovely readers. Reviews always welcome love to know what you think... Deadlove ox.


	16. secrets and true feelings pt 2

Your love Echoes

Trigger warnings; Mild language, mentions of abuse, addiction to pain killers and under age drinking, mentions of miscarriage due to abuse.

My beta spitfire47 is helping with editing of chapters.

chapter 16; Secrets and true feelings pt 2

Beth had been up since before dawn. The sun not fully risen over the hills and a cool breeze drifted through the window blowing through Beth's soft blonde slightly waved hair. Beth had come to a decision but first there was somewhere for her to be, somewhere for her to go. It had been almost 8 months since she had lost him, her baby. She didn't even have time or decided what to call him until after when the nurse helped her get in contact with a local priest to do a private service for the...her baby to give her a chance to say goodbye. Kieran Daniel Greene was laid to rest 14/03/2011, her little angel.

It still felt like someone punch through her chest and pulled out her heart, every time she thought of her son. The possibilities of being a mother and the trouble when he would get older, yet it still brought a smile to her face. It still hurt to remember him and what could have been but still warmed her heart. love rushed through her for her son and his memory. But then it was replaced with sadness and anger. The miscarriage, what would have happened if they weren't drinking? If they didn't fight? If Beth wasn't in the middle of them and the knife didn't... she absent mindedly rubbed where she was stabbed the pain was unbearable. If that didn't kill him, then being slammed into the wall or pulled down the stairs was, the bastard wouldn't go, Liam pulled her with him, of course Nathan got a few hits to her face as well.

Then turning up at her friend Ethan's house in the middle of the night too scared and worried to go home. Ethan took her to the hospital immediately, only to have lost the Baby, but her friend was amazing stayed with her all night. The next few days were the hardest having her baby removed and a remembrance service. It was private and small only the priest, a few nurse who knew Ethan and herself her mother found out only a few weeks before she passed away herself. Was her son- was telling Rick.- talking about Kieran a way for her to open to him, and then maybe other things may follow? Open up slowly over time? Maybe Rick can help Beth open up to her father and Maggie too? Can talking about him, the Miscarriage and what happened her? Could talking about it really be a way to reconnect with her family? With Rick? Maybe even close old wounds? She was soon going to find out, but first she was going to visit her son.

Beth made her way down the stairs and into the shower it was an hour at the most, maybe she could get another of mama's sun catchers while she was there also. If she left now she could be there and back before the others woke up.

xxxx

When everyone took a seat at the table to with only a few missing were Shane, Andrea and Carol.

They were the only few that didn't eat with them. Beth was already seated at the table with coffee and was quiet and wasn't saying much after she got back from visiting her son but they didn't need to know that – well not yet anyway. Beth didn't know when it became an everyday thing where Rick, Lori and Carl ate with them. It was so Hershel could keep an eye on Carl and the three of them slept in the house as well so Carl could get the rest he needed. Then one by one the others of the group joined in and they helped with the food and clean up afterwards it became a system and it worked, but Carol, Shane or Andrea were never among them though Beth could hardly blame Carol she had lost her daughter and Beth's heart went out to her, wanting to be there in case Sophia was to turn up it couldn't be hopeless right? That everything would be okay?

Beth didn't know Carol very well and keep her distance out of respect for privacy but it doesn't mean she didn't feel any less sad for her. She prayed for her daughter's safe return for Beth knew the feeling of loss and didn't want to wish it on anyone especially the loss of a child. It stays with you forever.

Beth played with the amber beads around her wrist. It was a necklace she was going to give her son when he was bigger but never got the chance she often hid it under her bandanna around her wrist. As well as her mother's old promise ring her father gave her mother not long after they first met. It was sliver and had a vine pattern that eventually came together in an infinity sign or the shape of an eight on its side. Beth used to giggle at how funny it looked and how pretty three stones were that were on the sides and in the middle daddy use it call them the rubies of love tied to a bit string. It was also hidden under her bandanna it was the only reminder of the two people she loved and lost.

The funny thing was her mother told her father and sister she had lost it. Maggie was furious wanting the ring after their parents died and Beth use to just scoff at her sister and they for gave her for it over time. But a few days before she died her mother pulled it out and tied it around her youngest daughter's wrist before kissing her forehead. Her mother said she has always wanted Beth to have it for the day Beth met a special someone. Someone they couldn't live without and give it to them for them to wear, it really was cleverly designed it could be for a man or woman to wear it. It wasn't for one or the other.

Beth has had worn them ever since. She was playing with them under the table, until her father brought her out of her thoughts.

"Bethie how long have you been up? Is your knee bugging you?"

Beth sighed and shook her head. It was the anniversary of her child's death, 8 months today and they didn't know she never told them. Didn't Kieran deserved to have his family know about him to be remembered? He deserved that much didn't he? But Beth was scared if she told them about him then she would have to open up about other ugliness she not ready to tell them about that still hurts and angers her it will be her admitting something did happen. Ripping open wounds and a door that she would rather stay closed, and the wall and armour she worked so hard on to build around her would be gone.

There were people she didn't trust like Shane that man was a walking time bomb. .She knew it was only a matter of time, she knew man like Shane and when they go off all is left is chaos and pain. The quicker they got rid of him the better.

Beth looked around the table, "Any word on Sophia yet?'' The question seemed to shock everyone around the table. Awe maybe? Glances around the table Daryl smirked his eyes staring down at the table then looking up through his eye lashes as to say about damn time. before all eyes were on Beth again.

''Seriously for the last few months it been Beth this and Beth that, Beth are you tired, did you sleep well? Are hurt, let me look at you?' I have babied, fussed over, cornered and frankly I am sick of it!... Does anyone care there is a girl out there by herself, alone with dangers everywhere? She could be hurt or worse and she is only 12 years old. For the last time I am fine and I don't need you shadowing me every moment of everyday.

"I don't need to my hand held. Frankly I agree with Carol and not enough has been done. Now if you will excuse me I am not all that hungry."

Beth got up from the table and walked away leaving the group, her father and Patricia stunned in silence and leaving a lot of them especially Hershel and Maggie asking themselves 'what?, did that just happen?' Did she just stand up for Carol? A woman she hardly knew?

Beth knew why she did it, she did it all in a memory of a little boy-her son.

xxxx

Beth was in her room for over an hour when the first knock came.

''If it's not news about Sophia I don't want to hear it,'' Beth scowled turning only to find Carol standing in the door way only to have Beth face softened at the sight of Carol.

'' I heard what you said at breakfast, Daryl told me... I don't why you did it but thank you,'' Beth sighed sitting down in the armchair she had near her door.

"Because believe it or not Carol we do have some things in common. We both have things in the past we are both running from, scars that are still healing, that can't be seen but are there."

The answer was painfully obvious why Carol was angry only if she was the only one who noticed, Beth also knew she was ranting..well a lot as Carol moved a little closer gave a small nod knowing what Beth meant but didn't needed to voice each other's experiences but now knew why she did it, well some of it anyway.

"I know what it is to feel loss, I also lost people as well, you may have heard of my mother and brother's death?"

Carol nodded, Beth continued.

"And we have also lost friends and neighbours. I have been getting all the attention of late and for that I am sorry. It wasn't my intention to take the attention from your daughter, I know Rick is just trying help and to keep the peace with my dad so your group has a place to stay here. But it wasn't fair that he took the attention away from Sophia I was just reminding them and putting their attention back to where it belongs and what their were doing here in the first place, before Carl was shot."

Carol leaned against her door, it was the first time Carol and Beth had an understanding, and it wasn't the last. And maybe just maybe they will… be can future friends?

xxxx

Lori was sitting with her son watching him sleeping contently. The test came back positive, she was pregnant she didn't know what she was going to do or what to tell Rick. It couldn't be Shane's could it? No... -no the baby isn't Shane's. It would never be Shane's it will always be Rick's no matter what. Even if they decide to separate, she will not take Carl away from Rick and the same will go for the baby. The baby needs a father and who better to take care of him or her than Rick? Shane is a loose cannon it is only a matter of time and Lori doesn't want him anywhere near Carl or the baby.

It is what Lori wants for her children to have a father to protect and love them endlessly and that is Rick. All the love and he will do anything and everything for his children. That is the kind of love that is all she has ever wanted for him or her. The baby couldn't be used as a tool or a trigger? Against Rick or to have Lori's love as Shane proclaims, his obsessive behaviour towards her is turning dangerous and is threatening the whole group... and this Lori is afraid this will just add more fuel to the fire. Who would want to bring a baby into a world like this? Where there is constant danger and threats where one cry can endanger everyone they care about, the reality was starting to set in for Lori as her chest tightened and her hands start to tremble she tried to be quite trying to wake Carl as the tears begin to fall.

''What am I going to do baby? I have no idea what to do? "Lori dropped her head in her hands.

xxxx

Meanwhile Maggie was avoiding Glenn, until Glenn was there… and Maggie needed him to be. The last few days, Maggie has been looking or trying to looks after Beth, but for last weeks, Beth had been shutting her out and she needed to why? What was going, with her? Did it have anything to do with Rick, did it have something happened the other day on the run? Did something happen between them? And between Beth and herself as a chain reaction? Was she getting closer to him only to pull further away from her? And their father?

Maggie didn't know what but something wasn't right, something happened or the memory of something that had Beth acting this way the only thing is if Maggie was to bring it up it would only be shut down by Beth,

Glenn was sweet caring and supportive everything Maggie needed, for now it was a shoulder to lean on and cry on Maggie buried her face in Glenn neck as the wetness was felt on his neck.

'' I don't know, what I did wrong? Why won't she talk to me I don't understand. Something has changed and she is shutting me out why? '' Glenn sighed pulling Maggie close rubbing her back gently.

'' She will when she ready, right? Isn't that what you told me?" Maggie didn't answer Glenn kissed her temple. ''She will. It will be alright you'll see."

That is how they stayed until Patricia came looking for them for help with lunch and a few chores around the farm.

xxxx

Later that morning Beth was sitting on the truck out the back of the farm watching the group organising grid searches for the afternoon. Something had made them realise what was in important and it pleased Beth that their attention wasn't on her any more, well mostly everyone's. Namely her father and Maggie now kept an extra eye on her thinking something was wrong. Why, why should she get the attention and Sophia got none finally after more yelling they seemed to have gotten the picture and was out helping with grid and search areas, which pleased Beth that they were making an effort if only temporary. Beth knew sooner rather than later they will demand Beth tell them what is going on, she is just happy with some peace no matter how long it will last.

Daryl stood next to Carol the whole time, Beth smiled at how much support he was silently giving her. Dale came over and joined Beth at the truck watching the group split into their search parties for the day, but Beth noted that neither Lori or Rick was going with them, but Maggie and Jimmy was.

Well that was unexpected.

The other thing was what Beth felt in her pocket of her jacket. The days were starting to cool down in the mornings with some mist in the air, but warmed up a little in the afternoon, whether it was an accident or on propose Beth agrees it now and head off the direction that Lori headed off in.

xxxx

Beth found Lori looking for something where all the coats were hanging. There was a dresser like design with a table then there where hooks where you hung all your hats or coats it's one of the few things her mother loved about the house.

Beth pulled out the white bag. '' I believe you are looking for this? I think you must have slipped it my pocket of my jacket by mistake.''

Lori turn to see Beth had the pregnancy test. '' I'm sorry it fell out of the bag and saw it its positive but it is none of my business.''

Beth turned to walk away then stopped when Lori spoke. '' I should be the one to apologise. It was my fault I shouldn't have been so...but I panicked I saw Rick coming... I haven't told him. I don't know how to. Your family has been so kind to us, but I know we can't stay here forever and the way it is out there, it is no place for a baby, no matter how much I want this…''

Beth couldn't help feel her heart go out to her, she was so scared and confused she could see how much Lori wanted this baby but scared because of the life it will have.

Beth moved to her back pack and pulled out another white bag. '' I got this just in case, I don't envy the decision you have to make, but tell Rick. Let him have a choice, let him help you, you need a proper pillow, food and care, my father is a reasonable man, but sometimes can be blinded by morals. It may take some convincing but we may be able to help you here and give you a chance. But please Lori, give Rick a chance. Give him chance to voice his feelings about it. Talk before you decide.'' Beth walked away walked up the stairs. Not to let Lori see how hurt she was, she was pregnant what did mean for her and Rick? Was it over before it began?

After Lori watched Beth for a few moments until she was completely up the stairs. Lori opened the bag and found morning after pills and prenatal vitamins.

Beth went to the window of her room. What was she going to do now? This was going to complicate things even if they decide separation. Could she still open up to him or wasn't that an option any more? She saw Rick and Daryl talking – well it looked Rick was doing most of the talking Daryl was trying to leave. Daryl was the only one who searched for that girl non stop, Beth admired the man.

Then something caught her eye. Glenn was heading to the barn with blankets and a flash light even though it was still light, and Maggie running after him yelling his name and yelling at him to stop.

This can't be good nor will it end well. Damn shit was about to hit the fan.

xxxx

Later that day after lunch, Lori had finally went up to Rick and told him she was ready to talk. They went off to find some where private so their conversation wouldn't be heard namely by Shane or Carl. Rick couldn't think of Beth at the moment he needed to focus on the conversation at hand. Beth watched as they head down the road from her window, unsure of what the outcome with bring.

They walked down the back of the farm passing the gate where was a deserted dirt road and fencing on both sides. But when they got there neither of them knew where to start and it all fell into silence.

xxxx

Dale found Beth sitting by the truck where were sitting before joining Dale turned to her.

''You alright? You look like you a lot on your mind.''

Beth sighed."Can I ask you a question?"

Dale nodded.

''What if you know things about people and other things but can't tell anyone else about it? But if you don't it is more trouble, but then the other person refuses to talk to them?''

The older man looked at Beth. ''Okay kid, slow down, why don't you tell me out right? Hmm?''

Beth sighed not knowing if it was a good idea to tell him hesitated then. '' Lori's pregnant and worried about telling Rick, and Glenn and Maggie are sort of an item but dad doesn't... he keep calling him that Asian boy.''

Dale face was hard to read but only answered Beth with, ''oh, I see.''

The rest of the time they both sit in silence.

xxxx

Rick really didn't want this to turn into an argument.'' I didn't say that Lori, I said Hershel and I are still working on terms of us staying, but it is still his farm his land. '' Lori moved away for Rick looking down at her hands then placing them on her stomach.

''What if I told you we couldn't leave? What if I told you I was pregnant?'' There was no answer so Lori slowly turned around to see Rick frozen on the spot then.

''Are you... pregnant?'' Lori nodded '' how... how long have you known?''

Lori sighed 'here goes nothing'. ''Only a few days but I haven't felt right for a few weeks now, I asked Beth to get a pregnancy test when you went on the run. I wanted to know for sure before I said anything. I don't… know how to do this Rick... if we have to leave... I want this baby, but not if I have to give birth in a ditch. Not if every cry puts Carl and every one we care about in danger...'' Lori trailed off. Rick knew exactly where this was going.

''So is that it? It not all of it this it? You don't want the baby?... you don't to even want to try and give this a chance? Lori you knew this was coming, you knew – we both knew it hasn't been working for a while, we are different Lori..our love...our marriage it is all different. We tried to make it work... we tried to fix it for us and for Carl but I can't do this any more Lori. We can't do this any more. Is there anything else I need to know about?'' Lori sighed closing her eyes so this was really happening.

''I know Rick,'' Lori hesitated a moment more before answering Rick's question '' Shane and I.''

Rick froze for a split second but looked straight there it was Lori was admitting it. '' I know. Of course I know, the world was going to shit and you thought I was dead.'' Some hurt came through in Rick's voice just a little. It sent a shiver done Lori spine and a lump formed in her throat.

"Y…yes..," Lori started quietly and repeated it louder so Rick could hear it. There it was said and done and was no going back.

Both faced the fence and looked over the land in silence. Then Lori spoke at last wanting to the answer to what she previously told him…

''Rick this is it isn't it? We go our separate ways. You want to, to separate? I...I know… our marriage has been over for a while now and we both know it. Your right I do want the baby, can we make it work? I will never take Carl or the baby away from you no matter what happens between us. The baby is yours no matter what and will always be yours he or she will need a father like you. I wish you all the happiness Rick. Hopefully we can tolerate each other enough to be friends? '' Rick smiled at Lori and nodded.

''I know it been over for while we both have known it was. But neither of us wanted to voice it. I think and agreed its best, but we did have our good times and great moments. We can make this work, I will always be there for Carl, the baby and for you if needed.''

Finally they had come to an understanding though they weren't going to be together any more. But Rick would still be around for the baby and Carl, and Lori if and when needed both felt a weight lifted off their shoulders. They could finally move forward, the hardest thing now was telling Carl about the separation and pregnancy.

Lori looked at Rick, ''can I ask you one last question? '' Rick nodded he suspected this was coming. ''Is there something between you and Beth? And have you met before?''

Rick knew he could only tell Lori the truth he at least owed her that much. ''There is something yes, I'm not sure how deep or far it goes. I am drawn to Beth but we have both decided we wouldn't see what it was or act on it until I spoke to you and we both speak to Hershel. Beth has too much respect for you and her father. We both do.''

Lori looked down but nodded she admitted if only to herself it did hurt a little but he didn't lie which she was half expected him to.

"As for if I have met Beth before…'' Rick told Lori of the day he met Beth in the hospital right up to where he got shot.

xxxx

Meanwhile after Dale and Beth parted ways, Beth still felt uneasy about Rick and Lori. She wanted to go and see Kieran again but she couldn't quite go all the way to the grave last time only looked from a far and she thought it wasn't right because he deserved more than that. It bothered her she just stood there unmoving.

Beth looked around walking past her tree into the woods surrounding it. It was a shortcut, but had taken a knife just in case, but didn't see Rick following her after a nod and a glance from Hershel. As Beth made it to where her son was buried and she removed some moss before placing her hand on the stone.

'' I'm sorry I haven't been to see you baby, mama has been a little busy a lot has happened. Life as changed but I haven't forgotten you I could never forget you or the life you could have had with me. They took it away from…from us, but I will always remember you, they can't away take away our memory.''

Beth kissed her fingers and placed them against his grave. '' I love you Kieran''.

A branch snapped behind her, Beth froze trying to steadying her breathing reaching for her knife until ''Beth?'' Beth turned to see Rick stand there for a brief moment before slowly moving towards her this wasn't how it was supposed to go. It wasn't how she wanted anyone to find out this way, let alone Rick, her father was behind it no doubt. Why did he have to follow her now? Or was this something or maybe it was God giving her the opening she was looking for.

Could she, he was there wasn't he? She closed her eyes.

"How long have you been, standing there?'' Rick moved a little closer. Beth tried not to put guard up it was just Rick the next words caught Beth of guard '' I'm sorry Beth.''

She seemed to accept it and held out a hand to him he moved closer.

Beth breathed in a deep breath it was better now than never. Beth wanted to open up to him trust him what better way to start then a memory of her little boy. '' I want to tell you about a little boy, he changed… and maybe save my life. His name Kieran Daniel Greene and he is… was my son... ''

Beth told Rick about the day she found out she was pregnant just after she turned 17. How he forced her to get high on drugs she didn't know names of. But ultimately lost the baby after getting caught in a fight, after a wound to the stomach and pulled down the stairs.

''The worst part is I really was looking forward to that part of my life, he save my life Rick... he was what made me want to became a better person. They took what could be now he is loved and just a memory. ''

This was one of the many times Rick's heart would ache for Beth Greene. A wish to take all the pain away but all he could really do was hold her close as the quiet sobs filled his ears, wetness of Beth tears on his shirt as Beth held her face in his neck. He closed his eyes kissing the top of her head. Rick did want to talk to Beth but now was not the time he could wait. Beth's grip on Rick tightened he held Beth until the sundown came and they had to return to the farm.

xxxx

Meanwhile Glenn was watching more than half a dozen walkers in the barn with wide eyes. Maggie stepped in forward in front of Glenn. ''You can't tell anyone please. It's more complicated than you think….''

Glenn started to back away not answering when Maggie called his name… Maggie stared after him ' great, this is not going to end well.' Maggie sighed making her way out of the barn.

A/n; well I hope you enjoyed the chapter. the chapter was long. Longer than expected but sometimes it is needed for what comes next. Stay tuned there a lot more to come, till next time lovely readers. Reviews welcome deadlove ox.


	17. the ties that bind pt 1

Your love echoes;

Warnings, mentions of past abuse, and of under- age drinking.

My beta, Spitfire47 is helping with editing of the chapters.

Chapter 17: Ties that bind pt 1

Beth woke up the next morning with her head pounding. She had collapsed emotionally exhausted on the way back to the farm. It had been a long time since she had let any emotion get to her or let it out, and Rick had carried her the rest of the way back, Not noticing or paying attention to the looks, questions or comments any of Rick's group or Hershel household was giving him, Hershel took over when rick reached the house with a grateful nod, Hershel gave Rick a nod to follow him to Beth room.

Everything in Beth's room was old polished wood, even her bed head and had old spiral pattern with Maggie and Beth's name in the middle. There was an old dresser table and mirror on one side and dressing draws on the other with an old armchair with a home made blanket hanging on the back of it in the corner.

There were sun catchers in the window. It was clear which one was Beth's because it suited her and he could see way she loved it. Hershel noticed Rick looking around, "most of the things were my late wife's. It is Beth's way of being close to her, her way of coping with my wife's death. The bed head was my wife's idea, Maggie has a similar one in her room.'' Rick nodded in understanding but said nothing.

Both looked at Beth and realised she had fallen asleep in her father's arms. Hershel laid Beth down to rest removing his daughter shoes Rick took the blanket from the arm chair and gave it Hershel to cover Beth. After a few moments silence Hershel cleared his throat.

Hershel saw the way they looked at each other. Beth so caring and loving so forgiving seeing Rick for the man that he is and how Rick would subtlety looking her over. How Beth eyes lit up and how easily it was it be with him and laugh with him.

But he also saw how Rick adjusted himself only to recover quickly without Beth seeing or noticing he saw the need and want, and the loneliness. But he also saw the kindness and gentleness of his actions in the way he helps his daughter and the want to help her. He was completely selfless when it came to Beth but he was worried it would be over written by his urges. He was a man after all and what man wouldn't want the company of a beautiful girl like his Beth. Though he knew Rick would never hurt her not on propose he was a decent man but still he had the right to worry didn't he? Rick was still a man and a man still had his needs.

''I would like to talk to both of you about recent events, but my daughter is very tired and needs rest, the talk can wait for now. But we will discuss this at a later time …''

Rick knew this talk was coming. He had expected it, '' of course.''

Hershel placed a kiss to his youngest daughter's forehead. Both left the room gently closing the door behind them.

When Maggie came Came in rushing to her father demanding to know about Beth Rick quietly and quickly excused himself letting Hershel calm his daughter Hershel gave a grateful nod as Rick made his way out the door.

Standing on the porch Rick sighed rubbing the back back of his neck. Rick knew Hershel was an understanding man but he had his morals but even a wise man like Hershel, sometimes there are things they don't – wouldn't understand, would this be one of them? Rick couldn't help but wonder how understanding he will be when he knows about the attraction to his youngest daughter? Who is old enough to even be his own daughter? Rick walked around the porch until he found a chair that faced most of the farm lowering him onto the seat, after taking to Hershel briefly he was having second thoughts ' Shit maybe I shouldn't be doing this, but she makes me feel everything, it feels good...right she see me like a human being, not a leader or a father but just as I am... I could take something for myself right?' Rick knew would have to talk to Hershel about his feeling for Beth at some point. he knew he had to but would it be accept by the farmer? Rick ran his hand over his face he knew the talk will come sooner or later but for now he needed a detraction and went to find Lori and Carl.

xxxx

Meanwhile Hershel was in the house trying to calm down Maggie who had been in a panic ever since Rick arrived carrying an exhausted Beth in his arms. With an understanding Rick left Hershel calm his eldest daughter. Rick made his way out to the rest of the group expecting to be ambushed with questions and comments from the group, only answering the ones that were out of concern for Beth. Completely ignoring the comments Shane was throwing at him.

Little did they know how quickly everything was going to change.

xxxx

Beth let out a heavy sigh she had slept through the whole night. Even missed dinner that was cold and still on her dresser from when either her father or Maggie had left it there from the night before. She groaned as Maggie came in and when her sister saw Beth was awake Maggie hugged her. Beth smiled and returned the hug tightly letting her know she was okay. Maggie looked at her with concern Beth smiled softly at her no matter how she felt, ''I'm okay really, just exhausted and I have a headache. Can you get something to eat and some tablets? I might rest maybe sleep a little while longer. '' Groaning at the throbbing of her head when Beth laid back down.

Maggie kissed Beth's forehead. ''Of course I will bring you something. I don't think it will stop dad stopping by though.''

Beth pulled a face and nodded knowing her sister was right. He would be more protective of her now it was only a matter of time. It was one of the reasons she didn't show her emotions or feelings she hated being fussed over and treated like a China doll, like she was fragile. She was everything but that.

Maggie laughed softly has she closed the door behind her sighing it was going to be a long day.

Beth remembered she needed to talk Rick about what was between them but it could wait she needed rest. She had no idea why Rick had such an effect on her, was it the way she felt about him? Or how he was only thing she thinks about and they are away at the back of her mind and like the feeling? Or the fact he treats her like she want to be treated and doesn't walk on egg shells around her or treat her any differently? It felt right and she wanted more of whatever Rick was doing to her she felt wanted and loved that was all she ever wanted. She fell asleep with thoughts of Rick and a smile on her face.

Not knowing of changes she was about to face with and without him.

xxxx

Meanwhile Glenn was pacing the fence line, while the others were getting ready to go out for shooting practice for some of the group and Greene household. Maggie, Jimmy and Patricia all asked to learn to use a gun Maggie told Rick that Beth was planning to come down later after she had a rest.

Glenn was wrestling with himself, whether or not to tell Rick and the others about the walkers in the barn. Maggie begged him not to tell anyone that it was something Otis used to do and that it was complicated. But it wasn't about just them any more it was also about the safety of the entire group and if they were going to stay there they needed to know didn't they? Shane was a loose cannon at the best of times. But Rick was level headed, smart and was probably the best person to tell and to find a solution that didn't have Shane going in with guns blazing well he could only hope right? He was torn, between the loyalty and to the safety of the group and his feeling for Maggie. He had never felt anything like this for anyone before and he wanted it to continue. He wanted them to continue, but if he told the group it would put them at odds.

Glenn had no Idea what to do.

xxxx

Later that morning, Glenn looks between Rick and the group and Maggie on the truck shaking her head every time he looked at her. After looking at the group, Dale knew there was something bothering Glenn and it also had to do with Hershel eldest daughter and whatever it was she didn't want him to tell. Glenn was a good kid with a good head on his shoulders and the kid had heart. If something was bothering him it was for good reason.

''Glenn, son why don't you help me with the van? I have a loose radiator, causing water to leak and the belt needs fixing. Why do you take a look, you may learn something?'' Glenn nodded thankful to Dale. At least someone noticed, maybe he can ask Dale for some advice.

xxxx

Rick paced the fence watching each person point to shoot, helping Shane and correcting those who have never held a gun before. As guns echoed through the field all he could think of, was Beth and seeing her smile again. He felt her pain as she told him of her son that was taken away from her so soon all he wanted to do was hold her. To kiss it all away and love her, but he also made a promise he must keep their relationship on a friend level until Beth was 18 though they had kissed a few times. He couldn't deny the feelings that he had bottled inside of him but he had to control himself for now He had promised Hershel and Lori that he would not take it any further until it was discussed at length what his intentions were with her and if she felt the same. Even so he would not be with her until Beth was 18. Rick sighed ran his hands over his face that and the fact that Beth was ignoring him since the last kiss.

He will still stay with Lori friendship wise and help her with baby and whatever else she needed. They had been through too much just to walk away and try to help Carl understand why his parents aren't together any more-that will be the hardest part. For Carl to understand and Rick knows and expects Carl will be angry at both of them for some time, and may act out. He sees Carl may have a crush on Beth, the way he watches her and asks if he can help, and Beth follows her to a point which will make it harder to tell him about himself and Beth. Rick hopes it will smooth over, over time but first has a lot to figure out before they talk to Carl. Of course Rick still loved Lori and Carl, it was different love with Lori but he still loved her. He always will. But just it will never be the way it was and never will be again.

He just hoped everything will work out eventually.

xxxx

Glenn gratefully went with Dale. While the other made their way to the field near the farm. After a little encouragement from Dale, Glenn told him about how he thought and suspected something was going on between Beth and Rick Dale didn't what to think with that one and will let it go for now until he could see if there was anything going on and but for now he wasn't really that concerned. Glenn went on to how his relationship with Maggie was a little tense. Forgetting he hadn't told dale or any of the group about his relationship with Maggie. Dale had something to say about that for sure Dale, went off at him for sleeping with Maggie and what Hershel would think.

Glenn just nodded after some more small talk Glenn turned to leave hesitant to tell Dale about telling Dale about the walkers in the barn but after the talk with Dale Glenn did feel a little better.

But the problem at hand was could Glenn still tell Rick about the walkers in the barn? And how would it affect Maggie. There was only one find out and Glenn had made up his mind maybe it was better to just go to Rick first hand and worry about the rest later.

xxxx

T dog watched Rick and the group from a distance though he didn't join in with the activities. He watched as they handed guns out and the shooting practice.

T dog was more concerned about their leader and his actions and possible feelings towards a certain young daughter of the farmer Hershel. He was not blind the young blonde was quite attractive and he could understand if there were any interest in her. But he felt there was more to it than a passing flirtation.

The way Rick was protective towards the young blonde baffled him, had he known her from somewhere? That kind of protectiveness didn't come from nowhere and they had only been on the farm for no more than two weeks? He knew he is not the only one who has noticed Rick's actions towards Beth. None of the others had voiced it, except Shane who has made it known how he felt about it, on more than one occasion but who was he to judge? He did not know if there was anything there for sure. It may just be Rick being himself.

T dog had only known Rick for three weeks but he has gotten to know what kind of man Rick Grimes is. Rick is a smart man and protective of those he cares for, family or those in their group. Even after Sophia's disappearance and Carl being shot, the man stands by what he believes in and hates to see any for them in danger. That is something T dog admires in a leader, and in Rick himself.

That and the fact Rick has bought Hershel and his girls into the mix, maybe just to help or to insure there was a place here. Problem was the farmer hasn't made it easy. He knows better than to expect to stay here, they may have to hit the road sooner or later, but things with Beth, friendship or otherwise just may complicate things.

T dog just hoped Rick knew what he was doing and was ready to deal with whatever came with the decision he made. Sighing T dog made his way back to the camp.

xxxx flashback xxxx

Beth once again was tied to the bed and closed her eyes a shiver ran down her spin. Her back still raw from the belt and sweat and blood no doubt on the sheets yet she felt numb some sort of drug that Liam forced her to take. Liam had left her to his father to finish off and she knew it was going to be a rough night and he would be hours before he was satisfied.

Beth breath hitch as Nathan came into the room fully naked. He was in his late 40's, he just slid in the side of fit but still was a bit on the large side with, average in looks. Beth could tell he worked hard at the gym to get where he was and she was at his mercy again for the night. He left nothing to the imagination and he was already hard. Shiver run down her spine and turned away from him as he sat down next to her.

''Now Beth you are going to take everything I give you like the good little slut you are, aren't you...'' Beth kept her head turn from only to have it roughly turn to face him and made to face him and look into his eyes.

''You know what will happen if you don't - don't you? You are mine until I tell you otherwise,'' with that he smashed his lips against her own, biting her lower lip causing it to bleed. A small tear ran down her face and all she could do was pray that her family would forgive her one day before opening her mouth for him, letting his tongue invade her mouth. Then he was roughly ripping the rest of her clothes off her with force not caring of the pain he caused Beth. Then he pulled the clothes from the raw parts of her skin causing Beth to cry out in pain.

without warning he turned her to the side he slammed into her make her cry out.

He thrust into her hard and deep.

''That is such a tight pussy," Nathan moaned maliciously. "That's it you will take everything I give you like the good cum slut you are and I ain't done yet as your ass and that pretty mouth of yours is next. ''

Beth cried out as he fasten the pace turning her head, tears ran down Beth cheeks. One day they were going to get her pregnant, or kill her – maybe both and there was nothing anyone one could do about it.

xxxx

Beth had suffered headaches and pain in her stomach the entire day, was pulled out the memory as she felt darkness around her collapsing to the floor the bottle she was slipping out of fell to the floor.

Maggie hearing the noise upstairs ran to see what it was only to find her sister collapsed on the floor with a bottle of gin next to her. Beth needed attention and help from their father, she should of seen it sooner, but making the decision to clean the bottle up before telling their father. The last thing they needed was their father aware of Beth's drinking though Maggie knew that Beth only drank when her flash backs were bad. However Beth had promised Maggie she wasn't drinking any more, which made her wonder how bad Beth was struggling to make her lie to her own sister about drinking and how much pain was she really in?

Maggie would get their fathers help first and deal with the rest of it later.

xxxx

Maggie gently placed her sister on the bed in her room and felt her forehead which was sweaty but cool. Her sister was in some sort of shock and need their father. Worried, Maggie went looking for her father only to have made at to the porch before seeing her father and Rick as well as his entire group including Jimmy and Patricia coming back from shooting practice.

Maggie briskly walked up to them, '' dad can I speak to you and Patricia inside please?''

Before anyone could ask what about, Maggie turned heel and walked back to the house. Hershel sighed, he knew his daughter was upset but the reason he needed to find out. So with that Patricia and Hershel followed her into the house to have Maggie waiting for them when Jimmy came into the door Maggie turn to Jimmy.

''Jimmy can you find some chores to do around the farm? I need to talk to Dad and Patricia alone, '' sending Jimmy a look of apology not wanting to upset him.

Jimmy shrugged his shoulders, "sure I could find something to do," and headed out the door. Wanting for Jimmy to leave Maggie sank down into a seat.

''Dad I wasn't exactly truthful about Beth this morning, when I went in early this morning Beth was in pain. She winced at any light in her room when I tried to open the curtains, she told me she had a headache and ask for something light to eat and pills. I felt something was wrong but I didn't push her she had a rough night I don't think she got any sleep and I heard her crying during the day. I should of told you, I heard a noise and went to see what it was it was Beth she had collapsed she is in some sort of shock and is not responding to anything I have tried. I'm sorry dad I thought she was okay...''

Hershel pulled his eldest into a hug, '' how could you have known? Beth has hid things and herself so well the past few years. We couldn't have known how much she had suffered, but let's not worry about that now I need to see my daughter and we will worry about the rest later. Patricia will you bring my bag and a IV drip. ''

With that they headed up to Beth's room with Patrica not far behind.

A/N; sorry for such a late update. I haven't had much time to write as much I would like to but I am hopping that will change soon. I will try to keep up with the monthly updates. I have decided to split this chapter into two parts I would be too long other wise. I will have more chapter point of views coming your way soon, and what will happen between Rick and Beth? stay tuned lovely readers. Reviews always welcome ox.


	18. the ties that bind pt2

Your Love Echoes

Warnings; Mentions of past self harm. Mild course language.

My beta spitfire47 is helping with editing of chapters.

The ties that bind Pt 2.

It had been 2 days since Beth's collapse and the news of Beth's state spread around the farm fast. Rick and some of the group offered to lend a hand around the farm and with house duties, much to Shane disbelief and disgust. Not only was Rick sweet on Beth but some of the group was siding with him including Lori? Shane can't let that happen he just needed his plan to work and the right time to put it in motion all he needed was an opportunity.

Maggie was grateful for Lori, Carol and the others help, even Carl was pitching in a lot where he could for someone who was shot not 2 weeks before he was was recovering well and helped as often as he could, he got tired a little easier than the others and stopped after a bit to rest so his parents wouldn't fuss over him, but Maggie was grateful to him all The same. She could also see Rick was worried about her sister and had his focus was on Beth. Leaving Maggie wondering again if there is anything between them – and if there was to what end? But she found it was the wrong time to mention anything to anyone especially to her father who hasn't slept since she has told him about Beth. Maggie was rotating between the farm chores and making lunch for her father making sure he eats, when she wasn't watching her father Patricia was.

Hershel has refused to leave Beth side since Maggie had told him, the state of his youngest daughter. He still remembers the sweet, caring Beth and the changes that had been in his daughter since she had met Liam. Still not fully understanding how someone could change his daughter like he did and his suspicions of someone else involvement had also remained, but thinking of the boy made anger rise once more in Hershel and he forced it down he needed to remain calm if not for himself, he needed to for his daughters. Hershel still remembered the day he found Beth in the bathroom with a piece of mirror in her hand.

xxx flash back xxx

Beth had been short tempered all day. First at Jimmy when he simply asked if she needed any help suddenly she backed away like he burned her. Hershel watched her closely throughout the day, he even followed her, than she disappeared into the woods.

Sighing Hershel went back to the house, where Patricia confronted Hershel. '' We all love Beth. But her behaviour... she is short tempered, she screams if we get to close to her, and she pushed Jimmy on several occasions, first into the fence and then locked him in the barn. He is unharmed... Otis got him out," Patricia quickly reassured him when he saw disbelief and concern on Jimmy's part. "The point is Hershel, she has changed, something has happened to her that is changing her.…"

Otis stepped behind his wife putting a hand on her shoulder.

"I think what Patricia is trying to say is Beth needs some help, with what has happened to her. We have all have seen the changes in her and one way or another it will end badly." Hershel nodded sighed knowing they were right something had to be done.

"I know, but getting her to realise it as well will be almost impossible," Hershel knowing perfectly well where she got her stubbornness from. The three in deep conversation trying to figure out what was the best option was for Beth.

Beth had slipped past them and up the stairs. What worried them the most was had gotten worse over the last couple of months, she was afraid of being near any of them the worse part for Hershel wasn't the tempers or the screaming and slamming of doors. It was the fact his own daughter was afraid of him, of coming to him for help from whatever was happening to her.

Suddenly Beth came back down stairs screaming.

"I DON'T NEED ANY HELP! I JUST WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE. I AM JUST FINE AND I DON'T NEED TO BE BABBIED AND WATCHED 24\7. NOTHING HAPPENED TO ME! I AM JUST SICK OF SIGHT OF ALL OF YOU! "

Hitting the door on the way out of the room Beth ran up the stairs and slammed the bathroom door shut. But moments later cries came floating down the stairs leaving everyone in the room stunned for words, wondering how long Beth had been there.

Hershel ran is hand over his face, his daughter is impossible even at the best of times, but this was going to be harder then he thought. Ignoring the sad looks Patricia and Otis offered him. Hershel rose out of his chair and headed up the stairs, thinking of ways to calm his daughter. He heard smashing of some sort making him break into run. He searched Beth's room finding nothing as panic in him rose he reached the bathroom door, the door was lock and blocked with something on the other side.

Hershel knocked loudly on the door. "Beth, please open the door… Beth...!"

By that time Otis had arrived with tools to work the door open Hershel froze at the sight in front of him, Beth had a piece of mirror it was cover in blood.

Looking to Beth wrist there was a deep diagonal cut on the other steady flow of blood, look as If she may have gone through some of the muscle Beth was exhausted and step one weakly stepping forward.

"I'm so sorry Daddy I didn't know what else to do," her voice was barely audible as she fell forward and collapsed. Hershel rushed forward to catch her, but Otis beat him to it, picking her up carefully he cradled her and waited for Hershel to lead the way back to Beth's room.

xxxx

Hershel ran his hand over his face sighing and held his daughter's hand with the other. He never forgave himself for that day, not seeing the signs of distress in his youngest daughter. As much as it pained him, he had to take Beth to the hospital, there was no permanent damage which was a relief but Beth did have to do up to almost 6 months of therapy to help strengthen her wrist. Beth had to wear a brace for half of that time.

Hershel also encouraged Beth to talk to someone but it didn't last that long and they hardly got anything out of her. So there was no point for it to continue.

Then there was Rick in the two and a half weeks he has been here, the change in his daughter has been rapid to say the least. The Old Beth -sweet, caring, gentle, strong and somewhat stubborn – has been seen more and more especially with Carl and mainly towards Rick himself. He did admit something died in his daughter. But to see the old Beth seeing her smile a genuine smile and one that wasn't forced was a blessing to him, which made Hershel more interested in how and why. If Rick had got his daughter's friendship and trust, how much she had told the man and whatever Rick was doing was working for Beth and for him. Was he was healing her maybe? Getting her to open up in ways he could not. Again this made him wonder once again If there was more to it than friendship? But seeing his Beth happy around Rick and the love Beth has started to show to his self and Maggie without fear she was starting to let them in but then something happened..something that caused her only not only shut them out but build a wall around her, and Rick some how manged to start to break through that wall, Rick gives them hope to get his sweet beth back. Against his better judgement he is starting to like the man more than he did. If he is genuine in helping his daughter and is offer friendship it may be a good thing to keep Rick around, but first Hershel would talk to Rick and soon.

xxxx

Andrea had watched Rick over the last couple of weeks since they first arrived on the farm at first she want to believe what Shane was telling her about Rick and Beth. But after she had seen and how Rick acted like no one had his full attention not even his own family and the way he acted around her. Andrea had seen the tension between Lori and Rick and seen them in what like an argument but didn't pay much attention.

But she also saw Carl. He wasn't blind he knew there was something going on with his parents and Carl also knew there was something with Beth and Shane as well. If anything he was too observant for his own good and was smart kid just like his dad. If he knew something was going on, something must be wrong he wouldn't be upset for no reason even if he was only 12 years old there was always a reason.

Andrea watched as Rick spent time with his family, but she could see his attention wasn't fully with his family, even Carl was trying to get attention but it was somewhere else or should she say someone else. Andrea noticed his glaze went to the windows or – her window. Then she saw Carl yelled at his dad and ran off his mom calling after him, Andrea sighed.

She started to question to where Rick loyalty lies with his family and group or was his judgement being clouded by his feelings? Shane had made it clear what he planned for Rick.

But Andrea again wondered if she could be a part of it? Or will she be best off putting her faith in Rick?

Watching Carl disappearing out of her sight, the promises Rick had made had fallen apart the day his attention went to Beth. Andrea could understand why Carl was so angry. But also realised this was going to be harder then she thought.

Knowing it could always get worse before it got better, she just hoped Shane or Rick she would make the right choices. Leaving the camp site and working her way over to dale's camper van she took a riffle and place herself on the roof, starting her watch for walkers.

xxxx

Carl ran from the farm ignoring the calling of his name form some of his parents the group and any questions he didn't care he just needed to get away from it all. it was another day of his parents acting like everything was fine nothing wrong. His Dad spent half the time staring up at Beth's window not even paying attention to anything around him not even his Mum or himself he yelled and hit the tree with his fist twice before wincing and slummed at the base of the tree he shuttered at the pain he felt and as sobs left him.

He opened and close his fist to see if he broke it or worse he winced his fists as pain shot through it but nothing seemed to be broken but had cuts and it will need some dressings but Carl didn't care he needed to get away from his parents, away from it all.

He had seen big tree at the back of the farm He had seen Beth at a few times before he needed somewhere to escape to breathe and not pretended every was fine just like they did, he knew something was up with is parents he wasn't stupid.

Furthermore Carl saw the attraction between Beth and his Dad, Beth was different with his Dad than when she was with her own family, he knew something bad happened to her he just didn't know what.

It started even before his dad met Beth. He overheard his Mom and Dad one night when his Dad came back from the hospital, they were arguing about his dad getting too close to a patient. It wasn't until later that he figured out it may have been Beth that they were arguing about, now it was months later and his mum and dad were back where they started? What did it mean for his parents? And his dad, if he takes his interest in her further, will his family survive it?

He knew his parents didn't want him to know or see it, but Carl knew his parents were having problems. He has seen it for a while now, but Carl usually had music to block out his parents arguments. it would be fine for a while then they would be back where they started a few months later. Carl usually would go to a friend's place until the next morning when the bad fights happened.

The funny thing was that his mom would start the arguments and his dad wanted nothing to do with it no matter what his mother did, his dad never lost his cool with her or showed any anger. He saw the signs he just didn't want to believe it. He guessed the bigger question was if his parents is or was going to separate and his mom and dad found other people like Beth to move on with, would he alright with it? He wasn't sure how he felt about Beth. Was it just friendship or other was did he have a crush on her, But no matter how he felt about Beth he liked her, really liked her but did he like her the way his father did? No matter what, he didn't like the interaction between the two and the attention his dad was giving Beth.

He did feel a lot of anger or maybe jealousy towards both of them or maybe just towards her. Why didn't anyone he liked, like him in return? Not only that but everything going on with Sophia. He has also noticed something between his mom and Shane. Shane was going after his mom and the fact he saw them arguing more than once only to break away quickly maybe too quickly when his mom saw his dad, pretending nothing happened. Just like his dad did when he asked or his mom when she asked about Beth he said it was nothing to worry about or made an excuse. Oh no he wasn't blind to any of it. But he knew if his parents did separate not because of their problems but because of them? His anger towards his both parents wouldn't go away any time soon or if he ever will forgive them. He wanted his parents together and Beth to like him was that too much to ask? He sighed looking at his bruised hand he winced again at the pain. He guessed only time will tell. He just knew whatever happened things would never be the same.

xxxx

Patricia was well aware of Beth's fondness towards the man, she saw it every time Beth looked at Rick or was around him. She acted like her old self around him and felt safe enough to do so, he gave her the comfort and understanding she wanted and needed, all from Beth actions. Patricia had known Beth for years her and her husband – God rest his soul -, were a large part of her upbringing before they lost their house and came to stay with the Greene's for a while, but by then it had all change and the dead took over. She would never say that to Hershel though.

Patricia knew well when Beth was fond of someone, and it was clear that it was with Rick Grimes. That girl had it for him and was confused on what to do. Beth didn't let in or trust many people but she want to with him that was a big thing for Beth. Patricia could see her wanting to open up to him, she has been trying and if anyone could get through to Beth it is Rick.

Okay maybe it's not love but there was something there, anyone with eyes could see it, their attraction and the interest they had to each other. Against her better judgement Patricia started liking Rick more and more. If Rick could get Beth out of her shell and talking and loving again like she use to she was all for it, Patricia just wants Beth to be happy find love again and move on from the past, if Beth finds it with Rick Grimes she will be happy for her – for them. She will even help Beth where she can. But convincing Hershel that is another story.

xxxx

It was later that afternoon when Rick finally went to the house to see Beth, Hershel was waiting for him. He stood in front of Rick for a few moments as if he was judging the state of him taking in how tired and warn down the man looked. He had even caught Rick on the porch keeping an eye on things but said nothing letting Rick pass. "We need to talk Rick, but first go and see Beth." Rick nodded grateful to the man.

xxxx flash back xxxx

Beth was facing the darkness with nothing but manic laughter of his. She couldn't will herself to move. She couldn't – it was like something was holding her in place. She was feeling tired and dizzy everything around her was blurry the only time she felt like this when he was with him. Suddenly she felt something started to enter her.

''That's it, Beth take everything I give you. You are here alone with me, no one to help you or can hear you – it's just you and me. You're going to be good to me aren't you Beth. Don't fight me, you remember what happened last time don't you? That's it, take what I give you, that is the deal Beth take it or I will give you back to my son to do what he pleases. That it such a sweet tight pussy and all of it belongs to me, I'm not done your, tight ass is next, that it Beth ride my cock''

Beth cried out, more tears escaped done her face, this pleased him more as he entered deeper groaning and growling in pleasure and that was all she remembers before getting tossed into another memory. Maybe this is what she deserves. Maybe this is where she belongs. No one can or will help her.

xxxx end flashback xxxx

Hershel watched Rick sit with Beth, taking his daughters hand into this own, and kissing her forehead. That's when Hershel realised this was different... genuine was it possible?

"Beth...I want to be here for you to help you, your friend, a shoulder or more whatever you need. You're a fighter Beth, don't let him win, you have your family and... Me if you want me to be. You're strong Beth please fight through it come back to us... back to me" He kissed Beth's hand.

Then he looked up and saw Hershel in the door way he didn't see him.

''How long of you been standing there?...I 'm guessing you were there long enough to know there are...things between Beth and I.''

Hershel nodded and suggested they took it elsewhere. Rick hesitated but followed Hershel downstairs, not before Hershel kissed Beth's forehead and close the door.

xxxx

In the kitchen they both took a seat, making sure there was no one else around. Patricia made some tea, than left them to talk. Rick cleared his throat he knew he had to have this talk with Hershel just as he needed to have it with Lori.

"So... there is something between us but we don't know what is... are we are drawn to each other? Yes we are. Is there history between us? Yes. do I have some feelings for Beth? Yes but we just don't know if we will... if it will turn into anything more. I will not push Beth in anything I'm only here for her as a friend, if it turns into anything else I promised myself that I won't... not until I spoken to you and Lori, only when Beth is 18 years and only when and if she feels the same of course."

Rick looked at Hershel he hesitated but thought it is best if he was honest.

"We have kissed a few times but it was when Beth was... I was trying comforting her but I don't think she was ready for any of it. But she started telling me bits and pieces of it , what she was comfortable with but enough to know she is really hurting... ,"Rick sighed and shifted in the chair . "I won't never take advantage of that ... I meant what I said, she does need you and Maggie and she wants to let you in but she doesn't how or where to start. Also I want to be here for here for Beth, as a friend but nothing more unless she feels and wants the same".

Hershel was silent maybe a mixture of shock , anger and awe, he never expected Rick to be so honest with him especially his feeling. Studying the man he saw Rick on edge and was probably waiting for him to punch him, but Hershel was wondering the opposite . Rather he was wondering if he had misjudged Rick. He watched how Rick and Beth acted around each other, he saw something in his daughter he hadn't seen in a long time and thought he would never see again. So he tried to put the man at ease

"You're a smart and descent man Rick. You made my Beth feel safe, she wouldn't have opened up to you if she didn't trust you, and I want to thank you for that. I have seen something in her, I haven't seen in Beth for a long time. However I don't like the fact that you have kissed my daughter."

Rick nodded in understanding but Hershel raised his hands. "But you're not taking it any further and I appreciate that. May I ask what the situation is with Lori? I thought ….but I guess it has been … between you two it was … it won't be anything with Beth would there?" Rick sighed and shifted in the chair but shook his head.

"No things have been... rough for a while. Lori and I had a long talk and we have decided it would be best if we separate. We haven't told Carl anything but that's part of the reason I can't...would think about how I feel about Beth. Carl comes first that and the fact his is in a bad place right now, it will just anger him and make things more complicated if not more difficult."

Hershel moved forward and put his hand on Rick's shoulder.

"I am sorry to hear that, that is the reason I respect and admire you Rick... you always put others a head of yourself and Beth sees it too. My daughter likes you and trusts you for the man you are Rick and like I said she wouldn't of let you in if she didn't. So I am going to say this perhaps maybe against my better judgement but I hope you prove me wrong … but work out things with Lori. It might be best if you talk to Carl first but if my daughter feels the same I … I will allow you to see where it will goes but not until she is 18 Rick and not unless she wants the same. Till then I will appreciate it if you will stay around for her... but be discreet around the others especially Maggie and Carl it will hit them the hardest." Rick nodded.

Hershel and Rick sat in silence not sure what else to say. Knowing that they had come to a silent agreement, before anything else was said Beth woke with her scream echoing through the house.

xxxx

Rick left the house to give Beth and Hershel some privacy, as Hershel made sure Beth was okay and gave him time with his daughter. He watched Maggie running towards the house and walked up to meet her on the front stairs. Gently putting a hand on her shoulder and nodding before taking his leave as Maggie ran into the house to find her father and Beth.

Heading towards the camp site Rick eyes narrowed as he saw Carl and Lori in what looks like another argument. Rick figured Lori was trying to look at hands cover in blood it had began to dry from hitting the tree, he had left some blood on the tree and he guessed Lori had found it, his wife had found carl and grabbed his hands to check them only to have the boy snatch it away he was angry and rick knew he was. Carl suspected it, them seprating for a while now, he knew and saw the signs, Rick sighed he will need to talk to him. How will he explain to his son not only their separating but his mom is pregnant? Rick was not sure if or when his son will forgive them.

Glenn rushed past Rick almost knocking into him looking nervous and tense muttering, "I can't... I have to"

Rick stopped Glenn putting his hand on his shoulder. "Glenn are you alright?"

Glenn ran his hands over his face and through his hair. "What if you were asked to not say anything … if you didn't say anything it would put the group in danger? Maggie will never forgive" trailed of ending in a rush.

Rick kept his hand on his shoulder, "okay, Glenn take a breath, okay, look at me, what are you talking about? What won't Maggie forgive you for?"

Glenn hesitated but took a deep breath. Rick he could talk to him can't he?

"There's something I need to talk to you about... it will affect everyone staying here… even cause chaos with some of the group. I might lose Maggie," before Rick could ask, Glenn took a deep breath.

"Walkers... Rick there are walkers in the barn, I found them the other day when I tried to meet Maggie. She said it was something Otis did, that it was complicated. I didn't say anything at first but Carol won't leave until Sophia is found. With Carl, Daryl and T dog... well I don't know if Carl is ready to travel and well Shane... I thought it best if you knew…"

Rick was silent, Glenn was right. Carol would never leave without her daughter, neither will Carl even if he was ready to travel. Rick head went slightly to the side then the was the matter of Shane... he would never let it go. He will get what he wanted at best to or try to get the group and his family to doubt him, at the worst shoot first and ask questions later... causing more problems and loss of trust.

Either way it would need his attention, he would have to talk to Hershel before Shane found out and took things into his own hands.

A/N, what did you think? Can Rick keep things under control? Next chapter is the big one of finding of Sophia and questioning of Shane's loyalties, it will be a little different to the show, why will be explained in later chapters. Till then lovely readers, keep reading. Reviews welcome. Deadlove ox.


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